# "Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521 "2003-10-25T17:46:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/1 "2003-10-25T17:46:53Z")
Anyone read this? Useful help guide or not? Would making a present of this book to a woman complaining about a mateless future be an appropriate gift from a (platonic) male friend or not? [Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School: A Simple 15-Step Action Program](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/034546625X/ref=pd_sim_books_5/103-5711607-7347847?v=glance&s=books#product-details) ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/2 "2003-10-25T18:02:35Z")
So is there a book about finding a wife after 50? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/3 "2003-10-25T18:07:24Z")
I heard the author doing a radio interview a while back, and she shared some of her “tips”. I wish I could remember the details, but every one was guaranteed to send me running screaming into the street if it were tried on me. One typical one was along the lines of “Ask the man if you should plan on going on a three-week trip with your girlfriends. If he says you should go, it means he doesn’t care about you, but if he says you should stay, it means he wants you around.” My impression was that the book explains exactly how to play all those idiotic relationship games that everyone hates. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/4 "2003-10-25T18:14:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wendell Wagner \* > \*\*So is there a book about finding a wife after 50? \*\* I’m sure there _isn’t_. There’s tons of books out there written on helping a woman find a husband after X age, but AFAIK there’s **zero** books out there for men trying to get married. (Of course, if you’re just looking to get laid, well then, that’s a different story.) Double standards still do exist, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/5 "2003-10-26T04:21:01Z")
I bought this book. (Whistlepig is a 41 year-old single male. Who’s looking for a wife, or at least a girlfriend.) I think it would make a fine gift for a single woman. The authors main point is, “You need to think of yourself as a product.” How do you “sell” your product, how do you advertise, are you a good product? It sounds harsh, but it makes good sense. The author talks about things like: Being well dressed, even if it’s just a run to the convenience store. Wouldn’t you hate to run into the best man/woman and look like a slob? Go out. You can’t meet people if you are just sitting on the couch. The author basically calls for you to look at your life and see where you can make changes to meet more people and be more attractive to the opposite sex. Some of the advice is stupid or desperate. But like any good business manual, you need to look at concepts and think, “How does this work for me?” Whistlepig, who’s trying. And shouldn’t be at home on a Saturday night. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/6 "2003-10-26T13:41:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whistlepig \* > \*\*Being well dressed, even if it’s just a run to the convenience store. Wouldn’t you hate to run into the best man/woman and look like a slob? > \*\* Ug. Why in the world would anyone want to date someone who is so bloody set on finding a mate that they make it a 24/7 job and can’t even run to the convenience store to get a quart of milk in their sweats? ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/7 "2003-10-26T13:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*I heard the author doing a radio interview a while back, and she shared some of her “tips”. I wish I could remember the details, but every one was guaranteed to send me running screaming into the street if it were tried on me. One typical one was along the lines of “Ask the man if you should plan on going on a three-week trip with your girlfriends. If he says you should go, it means he doesn’t care about you, but if he says you should stay, it means he wants you around.” \*\* Good Lord, that sounds appalling. Anybody who would discourage me from going is NOT the right person as far as I’m concerned. (Of course, I’m not over 35 and I don’t particularly want to get married, at least not right now, so I’m probably not the target audience for this particular tip … but still.) Anyway, those kinds of books annoy me because it seems like they treat men as possessions to be acquired, rather than as human beings. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/8 "2003-10-26T14:30:41Z")
I’m over 35 and I spend most of my time in dark glasses and ducking behind privet hedges as yet another ‘product’ sweeps into view. They’ve all as mad as fucking hatters from that incessant noise in their ears, _tic toc, tic toc, tic toc._. No where’s safe from the biological bandits. I like the idea of a book product selling idea products to people ‘products’. Very Harvard. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/9 "2003-10-26T19:16:24Z")
The asshattish stupidness of _The Rules for Your Late Thirties_ aside, I think this would make a pretty craptacular gift. Trust me, it’s one thing to piss and moan and complain about how you can’t get a man, but something else entirely for someone to in essence say “Yeah, you suck at this.” Some women might not take offense to it, but plenty of other women would. You might not want to take the chance. Out of curiosity, though, aren’t there laws against women selling themselves as products? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/10 "2003-10-26T19:36:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \* > \*\*Out of curiosity, though, aren’t there laws against women selling themselves as products? \*\* Not if you’ve gone to Harvard. It’s sort of expected. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/11 "2003-10-26T20:10:35Z")
I’ve seen that book and it looks like it would really hurt if someone threw it at your head. I would get her something else. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/12 "2003-10-26T22:20:21Z")
How about this idea? If you want to get married by the time you are 35, maybe put off the career-first, HBS 100 hour week, workaholic crap until AFTER you get married. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/13 "2003-10-27T02:29:58Z")
How come I’ve never met any of those women who have bought or are using any of the techniques in the various “how to find a man” books? The women I usually encounter … well, they usually don’t wear watches, so they don’t have to give me the time of day. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/14 "2003-10-27T02:32:26Z")
It sounds like just another version of _The Rules_. Blech. I’m not sure I’d WANT to marry some guy who fell for such stupid little tricks. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/15 "2003-10-27T06:07:55Z")
I can give those women three simple rules for getting married after 35, and I won’t even charge anything: 1. Meet Wendell Wagner 2. Say, “Hey, you want to get married?” 3. Get married. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-a-husband-after-35-using-what-i-learned-at-harvard-business-school/209521/16 "2003-10-27T14:40:56Z")
It might also help to not view marriage as a career objective like making partner in a law firm.