# Find me the cringiest artist on the web **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675 "2007-04-11T18:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/1 "2007-04-11T18:34:19Z")
In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=416060), **Unauthorized Cinnamon** introduces us to the horror that is ‘The Garden of Prayer’, a hummingbird seemingly caught in the act of pushing one out, with a garden of earthly delights airbrushed onto its wings. But I think we can do better than that. I challenge you to find me the cringiest _serious_ art you can. Doesn’t necessarily have to be religious. If it’s tasteless, tacky, or just plain bizarre, it’s in. The critera are only that it has to be a) earnest, and b) make you cringe in a sort of glurgy way. Velvet Elvis clocks are therefore out. In laying down the gauntlet, I challenge you to find worse than [Incarnation](http://www.durand-gallery.com/pages/level_2/new/incarnation.html). (Warning: has a man’s winkie in it, so though it’s art, it may be NSFW if you’re John Ashcroft.) Strangely, the winkie seems to be emanating some sort of floating tendrils, which are raining down a golden shower on the Christ-figure’s head. He appears to be scooping it up in a cup, or perhaps playing the tambourine. Or is the youth being born? If so, why is the birth fire flowing up his knob? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/2 "2007-04-11T18:39:13Z")
Also, the winkie’s coloring does not appear to match the rest of his body. I submit there was some type of winkie transplant. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/3 "2007-04-11T18:41:14Z")
[QUOTE=Honey] winkie transplant [/QUOTE] 😉 + ☹ = 😛 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/4 "2007-04-11T18:56:02Z")
It’s the “bare record that this is the Son of God.” Says so right there. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/5 "2007-04-11T19:49:05Z")
I submit an historical example, by the artist I loathe most of all, William Holman Hunt, [the Hireling Shepherd](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/86/William_Holman_Hunt_001.jpg) Everything he does makes me shudder. I want to just slap him and Ford Maddox Brown around a bit. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/6 "2007-04-11T20:11:53Z")
Our friend Google Ads brings us this Kinkaidesque artist: [Website Disabled](http://hiddenangelart.homestead.com/untitled4.html) Please notice the text that reports you’ll find the Tin Commandments hidden in the painting (on Mount “Sinai”). ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/7 "2007-04-11T20:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana] Our friend Google Ads brings us this Kinkaidesque artist: [Website Disabled](http://hiddenangelart.homestead.com/untitled4.html) Please notice the text that reports you’ll find the Tin Commandments hidden in the painting. [/QUOTE] I only follow the silver commandments, so I must agree with you. 😉 (link seems to be broken) ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/8 "2007-04-11T20:14:29Z")
For another historical example, see Fragonard’s [The Swing](http://www.wga.hu/art/f/fragonar/1/07swing.jpg). Admittedly, nowhere near as repulsive as the OP’s examples. Still, it’s pretty ridiculously glurgy, and its only purpose was to titillate 18th century French nobles. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/9 "2007-04-11T20:16:50Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] In laying down the gauntlet, I challenge you to find worse than [Incarnation](http://www.durand-gallery.com/pages/level_2/new/incarnation.html). (Warning: has a man’s winkie in it, so though it’s art, it may be NSFW if you’re John Ashcroft.) [/QUOTE] [Chandler]Could that _be_ more gay?[/Chandler] ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/10 "2007-04-11T20:23:25Z")
[QUOTE=lazybratsche] For another historical example, see Fragonard’s [The Swing](http://www.wga.hu/art/f/fragonar/1/07swing.jpg). Admittedly, nowhere near as repulsive as the OP’s examples. Still, it’s pretty ridiculously glurgy, and its only purpose was to titillate 18th century French nobles. [/QUOTE] That one guy’s getting an 18thC upskirt! No wonder he looks so goofy. Shame he’s dressed like Little Lord Fucking Fauntleroy. From the artist of my OP, I also present [Allegory](http://www.durand-gallery.com/pages/level_2/1996_2000/diana.html) of Diana (I am not sure what the allegory is - that she was England’s lily, not England’s rose? Flower of death?) and this… this… [WTF](http://www.durand-gallery.com/pages/level_2/1986_1995/marsyas_flayed.html). I have no words. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/11 "2007-04-11T20:30:41Z")
Dude, there is no end to this stuff. My favorite place to find it is ebay. [Jesus the hugger](http://cgi.ebay.com/3-Jesus-Art-Prints-Religious-Christian-Home-Decor-Print_W0QQitemZ220100772954QQihZ012QQcategoryZ41511QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) [Attack of the 50-foot Jesus](http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Jesus-Art-Prints-Christian-Wall-Home-Decor-Religious_W0QQitemZ130099043620QQihZ003QQcategoryZ35818QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) And to show that Jesus doesn’t have a monopoly on glurgetastic art: [Go fly a kite](http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Western-Art-Prints-Kid-Cowboy-Dog-Horse-Wall-Posters_W0QQitemZ130099054082QQihZ003QQcategoryZ20149QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) BTW, if you don’t add your own title or caption, you aren’t trying very hard. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/12 "2007-04-11T20:36:32Z")
Better hurry, there are only 99 of these beauties: [Weirdly patriotic horse](http://cgi.ebay.com/Horse-Art-Equestrian-Print-Patriotic-Americana-Matted_W0QQitemZ140106387344QQihZ004QQcategoryZ20158QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/13 "2007-04-11T20:41:02Z")
Gah! It’s the [Derby of the Apocolypse](http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140106582008&ih=004&category=20158&ssPageName=STORE:PROMOBOX:NEWLIST#ebayphotohosting)! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/14 "2007-04-11T20:46:36Z")
[QUOTE=Ellen Cherry] Derby of the Apocolypse [/QUOTE] Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Mint Julep from Hell. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/15 "2007-04-11T20:52:31Z")
Does the weirdly patriotic horse have its foot on backward or am I looking at it from a posterior perspective? > [@](#): > > (link seems to be broken) Opens fine for me. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/16 "2007-04-11T20:54:47Z")
I give you the [Museum](http://www.museumofbadart.org/) of Bad Art. Not sure if any meet the qualification of **serious**. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/17 "2007-04-11T20:55:35Z")
[Killing Machine](http://www.brandonbird.com/bea.html). Bea Arthur rasslin’ a velociraptor. There are no words. Click on “Paintings” for more fun. Another one I’m fond of is [No One Wants To Play Sega With Harrison Ford](http://www.brandonbird.com/sega_ford.html). I’m pretty sure the artist is sincere. He’s just…misguided. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/18 "2007-04-11T20:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] [Killing Machine](http://www.brandonbird.com/bea.html). Bea Arthur rasslin’ a velociraptor. There are no words. [/quote] Holy shit. > [@](#): > > Another one I’m fond of is [No One Wants To Play Sega With Harrison Ford](http://www.brandonbird.com/sega_ford.html). > > I’m pretty sure the artist is sincere. He’s just…misguided. I quite like that one. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/19 "2007-04-11T20:59:05Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] I give you the [Museum](http://www.museumofbadart.org/) of Bad Art. Not sure if any meet the qualification of **serious**. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I guess I should qualify my selection criteria with “technically accomplished” - even if it is only one technique… Those, I just feel pangs of sympathy for. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675/20 "2007-04-11T20:59:39Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] and this… this… [WTF](http://www.durand-gallery.com/pages/level_2/1986_1995/marsyas_flayed.html). I have no words. [/QUOTE] Kind of looks like Dancing With The Stars, except with lots of acid. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-me-the-cringiest-artist-on-the-web/399675.md?page=2)