# Finding a stranger in your house **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024 "2015-10-28T23:30:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/1 "2015-10-28T23:30:42Z")
Ok, let’s say you head home, and find a stranger in your house. Actually, much like Goldilocks, you find a stranger sleeping in your bed. [What would you do?](http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/vancouver-man-comes-home-to-find-drunk-stranger-in-his-bed-hilarious-video-follows) Well, if you’re a dude in Vancouver, you find it hilarious, and film the encounter. And you laugh about it. And in the end, the drunk stranger ends up thanking you after you offer him an alternative place to crash for the night. Overall, Very Canadian indeed. Drunk dude even says “sorry”. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/2 "2015-10-29T00:17:56Z")
I once _woke up_ to a stranger sitting in my bed. Turned out to be a drunk teen who somehow gained access to our place instead of his parents’ one floor up. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/3 "2015-10-29T01:24:38Z")
I once woke up to a stranger in my house. For years afterwards I knew that if I ever got the chance I’d kill him. I wouldn’t now, but I would, if it was possible to ID him, have him put away for as long as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/4 "2015-10-29T04:00:05Z")
I once woke up to a stranger sleeping on my living room couch. He was a young guy who had obviously crashed from the party next door the night before. I woke him up and gave him a stern look. He was extremely apologetic and left immediately. He was nice enough to have removed his shoes before putting his feet on the couch. Pretty harmless in the end. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/5 "2015-10-29T04:05:31Z")
Given the sleeping part (lack of immediate danger) I would sneak out and call the cops. If there was anything remotely like danger it would escape if possible (assuming no threat to others), or if there was an inescapable threat to me or others then it becomes time to win the situation, however that might be accomplished. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/6 "2015-10-29T04:14:49Z")
Interestingly we just had that problem here this week. [http://www.capitalgazette.com/news/for\_the\_record/ph-ac-cn-annapolis-sleeping-burglar-1027-20151026-story.html](http://www.capitalgazette.com/news/for_the_record/ph-ac-cn-annapolis-sleeping-burglar-1027-20151026-story.html) A fellow I personally had issues with a few weeks ago for vandalizing my SUV, though he already paid me for that. ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/7 "2015-10-29T10:57:06Z")
shoot and ask questions later…:p;) ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/8 "2015-10-29T13:44:09Z")
I would slip back out the door and call the cops. I’m not in any immediate danger, and I don’t want to find out what the person’s problem is. Most likely they’re drunk and stupid, but I don’t want to risk finding out that they’re drunk and belligerent or drugged up and fighty or crazy and stabby. I definitely would not offer them a place to stay, I don’t want some stranger with bad impulse control having access to me and my property while I’m asleep. If it looks like they actually broke in (picked a lock, brick through a window) then I would most definitely want to press charges, that’s not just a light laughing matter to me. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/9 "2015-10-29T15:48:26Z")
The replies all confirm that I’m really, REALLY glad I’m living where I do. I think I now understand the high rate of shootings and incarceration rate in the country to the south. In the video, the homeowner was not scared. He knew that the drunk guy most likely did not have a gun. He did not have a gun. Nobody was shot. Problem was solved. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/10 "2015-10-29T15:54:39Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > The replies all confirm that I’m really, REALLY glad I’m living where I do. > > I think I now understand the high rate of shootings and incarceration rate in the country to the south. I daily thank all existing deities that I don’t live in [that](http://www.1310news.com/2015/08/20/police-charge-four-men-in-canada-day-home-invasion/) [grossly](http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/7-year-old-girl-confronts-armed-robbers-in-home-invasion-1.3165265) [violent](http://www.citynews.ca/2015/10/26/toronto-woman-arrested-on-canada-wide-warrant-after-violent-home-invasion/) yet smugly self-congratulatory country to the north. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/11 "2015-10-29T16:15:27Z")
That was awesome, what a fabulous response the homeowner had. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/12 "2015-10-29T16:23:02Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > In the video, the homeowner was not scared. He knew that the drunk guy most likely did not have a gun. He did not have a gun. Nobody was shot. Problem was solved. What does this have to do with guns? None of the replies assumed that the guy had a gun, and the only reference to shooting him was clearly a joke as indicated by not one but two smilies. The guy in the video wasn’t scared because he’s young enough to still think he’s immortal, can probably take the drunk guy in a fist fight, and lives in a house where they routinely have open drunken parties with strangers crashing all around the house. But you asked what people would do if they found a stranger in their own bed, not if they were a young, healthy guy in a house where drunken, sleeping strangers are the norm. I doubt any of the respondents are running a party house or leaving the door unlocked, so this is not a routine thing and probably required him to commit a felony. If you’re female, it’s pretty legitimate to worry that a guy drunk enough to break into a house and insist it’s his might find a reason to try to force you to have sex. If you’re older and not in good shape, it’s pretty legitimate to worry that a guy drunk enough to break into a house and insist it’s his might decide to fight you for waking him up. And in general, it’s possible that the guy isn’t drunk, but instead is crazy or on some heavy drugs, which could lead to an even more violent response. Note that rape, beatings, and stabbings all occur without a gun, and that ‘not going to be shot’ doesn’t mean ‘not going to be hurt’. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/13 "2015-10-29T18:28:55Z")
I’d thank my lucky stars! My bedroom is on the ground floor, right next to the bathroom where I keep the chloroform and other supplies. I’d apply a light whiff of chloroform to the sleeper and bind his wrists and ankles with gauze (to limit chafing) and secure them with zip ties, whereon I would relocate the fellow to the ‘guest room’ in the attic. My wife [del]sometimes helps[/del] would likely assist me if he is unduly burdensome. It has been SO long since our Melissa has had a playfriend and she has been so lonely and given to bouts of heart-breaking melancholy. This stranger would surely lift her spirits for many, many weeks…provided he behaves himself and doesn’t upset her delicate internal balance. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/14 "2015-10-29T19:52:45Z")
If you meet the Buddha in your bed, kill him. ---
**Author:** ![SpeedwayRyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@SpeedwayRyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpeedwayRyan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/15 "2015-10-29T20:23:17Z")
Once I was asleep in my college-town apartment at 3am or so when I heard someone in the living room…went out there and a clearly drunk guy was sitting in the recliner petting my roommate’s dog (great guard dog, right?). I yelled at my roommate and asked if he knew the guy – nope, he didn’t. It wasn’t scary as there was one of him and two of us, he wasn’t big, and he was definitely drunk and not in an aggressive way, he was mostly asleep. I was yelling at him “THIS IS NOT YOUR APARTMENT, PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND LEAVE.” He wasn’t really responding, and it then escalated to “GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE WE THROW YOUR ASS DOWN THE STAIRS,” which he responded to and left. A few minutes later he knocked on the door. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” we yelled through the door…he had forgotten his coat – and it was pretty cold out – so we opened the door and threw it out at him and slammed the door in his face. Hopefully he found his way home. We tried a little harder to remember to lock the door before bed from then on. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/16 "2015-10-29T21:53:18Z")
What are my 4 dogs doing? Are they curled up in bed next to him? Honestly, this would be extremely weird. We live deep in the boonies. Nobody just wanders past, ever. I’d leave, taking my dogs with me, and drive to my neighbors house, calling the cops on the way. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/17 "2015-10-29T22:10:06Z")
If the dog is dead, someone could be waiting for us on our return. We would be on the alert because, “Where is Zeus?” If we were dead also, someone could get in our house without our knowing. If we are not dead, it ain’t happen, period dot. Yeas ago I have been through a few variations of this and I learned the lessons. If there is magic involved and someone did get in and I discovered them before they harmed anyone or thing, I would get control at any cost to them and then see if I needed LEO’s if it was not obvious from the start. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/18 "2015-10-29T22:39:25Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > If we were dead also, someone could get in our house without our knowing. > > Yeas ago I have been through a few variations of this and I learned the lessons. I’m sorry to hear you were dead years ago. Guess you got better? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-a-stranger-in-your-house/736024/19 "2015-10-30T05:00:35Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > I’m sorry to hear you were dead years ago. Guess you got better? Well, it made sense when I wrote it but you show I should explain better. :smack: