# Finding child porn **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140 "2003-11-19T16:52:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/21 "2003-11-19T19:37:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrTuffPaws \* > \*\*Tanookie: > > I feel for you. I was not molested as a child. > > Assuming that pornography automatically leads to molestation is just plain wrong. If it did, then considering the amount sold in America, most children would be treated as such. > \*\* I’m not saying there is any link at all between pornography and child abuse, but I’m on Tanookie’s side here. I don’t care how irrational it sounds to you, if you tell me that there is no connection between _child_ porn and child molestation I’m going to hit you based on principle alone. If you’re not alarmed by the amount of children being molested today, you should be hit for that, too. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/22 "2003-11-19T19:45:04Z")
**Mr Tuff paws** the reason I was worried about the incest thing (and BTW I was also sexually abuseds as a child) was because the girl int he photos was approximately the same age as his sisters. I was concerned that if he had sexual desires for children of that age group, he had perfect opportunity at two right there in his own home and who is more veulnerable than two people who already love and trust you? Who the adults around already trust you to be alone with? This is how a pedophile manipulates his prey and manipulates the caretakersof the children. That is how pedophiles don’t get caught is by being trusted by their prey and by the adults who should be looking after them. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/23 "2003-11-19T20:20:38Z")
I would strongly advise against reporting to the cops or the school without first examining other possibilities if there is any chance that your identity will be discovered. People DO get hysterical over this stuff, and instead of the help he might need, your son might wind up spending years in jail cells or reform schools, depending on how things go. I’d talk at length with your son’s counselor about what he thinks might be going on in your son’s head. And I would take what your son says with several grains of salt – he probably IS scared, but maybe not of what you think he’s scared of. ---
**Author:** ![sweet\_contradiction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@sweet\_contradiction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweet_contradiction)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/24 "2003-11-19T20:56:19Z")
I am agreeing with Mr Tuff Paws here. I have three sons…23 21 and 16. At 16, they are going through puberty which brings a lot of confusion and even more natural curiousity…which includes the weird, horrible and gross. Tuff is right…Education NOT hysteria! So far, everything you have told us about your son seems absolutely normal to me. If you call the police or his school…this goes on his record for life. I know he is a minor and it is supposed to drop off when he is 18…but, it doesn’t. And, I am not sure that his pyschiatrist would be required to report this or not?? But, if they do…it might even be worse. Educate your son and objectively watch for any other signals. Don’t be so quick to label your son as a potential child porn freak or child molestor. That label will stick for life. Be absolutely sure before you put that on your son. Personally, I think he sounds like a nice kid…with normal curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![sweet\_contradiction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@sweet\_contradiction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweet_contradiction)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/25 "2003-11-19T20:58:24Z")
yeah, what evil said too!! ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/26 "2003-11-19T21:01:47Z")
AAAARRRRRrrrgggh! I don’t WANT To be a MOM anymore!!! can I just get a goldfish instead? ---
**Author:** ![sweet\_contradiction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@sweet\_contradiction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweet_contradiction)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/27 "2003-11-19T21:32:15Z")
The fact that you are questioning this incident, tells me you are a good mom. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You, better than anyone, know who your son is…and what he is made of. Talk to him…and go with your gut instinct. All teens lie…and are curious. Just be careful not to overreact. ---
**Author:** ![MrTuffPaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MrTuffPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrTuffPaws)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/28 "2003-11-19T21:43:23Z")
mipiace: Such is life, no? It is time to haul out the brass balls of parental wisdom. Do your children know about your past abuse? I can see why you jump to conclusions, but there is a lot at stake here. Time to set them down for a talk. They have a right to know how you feel about the subject. Evil and Sweet have some good advise too. Weigh the consequences before you take it outside of your own home, watch objectively, be open about it, and put your foot down when needed. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/29 "2003-11-19T22:03:51Z")
No, he doesn’t know…perhaps it’s time to tell him. Whew. BUT that could actually have the impact i am looking for. I DO want to hit home. To let him know that these children are being abused and that by downloading this crap he is contributing to their degradation. No matter how “funny” it seems, it is actually rape and NOT funny at all. That it will have a devastating life long effect on these kids and that it cannot be tolerated or supported in any fashion. And that it is up to each and every one of us him included to make sure that no child has to suffer that kind of abuse in our society…Jesus I sound like a public service message… ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/30 "2003-11-19T22:13:25Z")
My God - don’t get hysterical and overreact. I don’t see how calling the police could help your son. By all means, explain that child porn is a very serious crime, and if you think he might benefit from counseling, that’s fine (but not the school counselor). I just think if you go off half-cocked on this, you’re going to regret it. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/31 "2003-11-19T23:00:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*… I don’t see how calling the police could help your son. By all means, explain that child porn is a very serious crime, and if you think he might benefit from counseling, that’s fine (but not the school counselor). I just think if you go off half-cocked on this, you’re going to regret it. \*\* I know that this is a complex issue, and that we all have the desire to help and comfort a fellow doper but there is a point that I think may be being lost here. I also fully realize that if the authorities are involved, life will get very horrible for the OP’s son. However, if calling the cops or the feds or anyone has even the slightest chance of bringing to justice the person or persons that exploited the children in these pictures, then there really is nothing left to discuss. Period. It will no doubt be horrible to follow, but there is a back trail. The OP’s son got them from somewhere, and so forth. To me, there really is no other issue at hand. And I really don’t want to get flamed for this, but I do feel compelled to say this: If you have a gut reaction that you should not leave your pre-pubescent daughters around this lad, you should listen to that instinct. While it is possible that you are wrong, it is also true that these instincts are correct (especially when it comes to danger) far more often than we give them credit for. Bottom line is that he kept the child porn (and I guess had it hidden) and seems unwilling to specifically tell you where he obtained it. This is really a pretty bad sign. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/32 "2003-11-19T23:18:41Z")
"If he downloaded it himself I want to know where it came from and I want his access to that blocked. " Every individual printer has a specific way it lays dots, if you examine the dots with a lupe you could find out what printer it was printed on. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/33 "2003-11-19T23:43:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > However, if calling the cops or the feds or anyone has even the slightest chance of bringing to justice the person or persons that exploited the children in these pictures, then there really is nothing left to discuss. Period. > > It will no doubt be horrible to follow, but there is a back trail. The OP’s son got them from somewhere, and so forth. To me, there really is no other issue at hand. I understand what you’re saying, but in the harsh light of reality, if a 16 year old student can find underage photos on the internet, they’ve probably already been downloaded by millions of people, and the FBI is no doubt able to find this stuff as well. I have no doubt that they spend all day, every day attempting to bring these people to justice. I personally would think long and hard before potentially ruining my son’s life over 4 pictures, with a slim to none chance that it’s going to make any kind of difference in stopping exploitation. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/34 "2003-11-20T00:50:07Z")
Wow, look at that view-to-post ratio. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/35 "2003-11-20T01:07:14Z")
I don’t have any kids, but I’d worry that he kept it. Yeah, he may’ve been given it as an “hee hee - look at this”, but if he was really as disgusted as he proclaims himself to be he would’ve either gotten rid of it or given it to someone to see what he should do. That he kept it, and kept it at home suggests he continued to look at it, maybe even using it as something to masturbate to. If he finds it sexually arousing, I can only think that he may continue to find similar things to arouse himself. Again, I am not a parent, so take this all with a grain of salt. StG ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/36 "2003-11-20T02:05:53Z")
Well, I’m with a few of the guys in this thread; male sexuality is one strange creature and when those hormones are bursting out all over the place in mid-teens, its weirdsville… Fwiw, I doubt very much indeed your son has defined his sexuality in any great depth; he’s just out there following his . . . nose, shall we say, and putting the world in context. Once he finds a female peer to focus all that stuff on, chances are this incident will look very, very different. Could do with an older male saying something like ‘Get yourself fucking laid and sort your life out’. That’s all. Then he’ll be fine – I honestly don’t think he needs too much of this drama stuff. I think you probably recognise Moms don’t necessarily always make great Dads, and I’d be inclined to think this is one of those occasions. So, IMHO, worst you can do is overreact, it could scar him for a very long time, and the poor kid is already scared out of his wits, I’m sure. Very difficult age for some boys, those hormones can drive you insane. Get him laid ! ---
**Author:** ![DeaganTheWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DeaganTheWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeaganTheWolf)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/37 "2003-11-20T02:21:45Z")
Another non-Parent checking in here. At that age I was interested in looking at ALL SORTS of bizzare porn and grotesque images. This included lolita, beastiality, fisting, bsdm, and anything else wierd. I turned out normal. Chances are, and i’m making this judgement based on the fact that you’ve found lingerie pics ect, That this was harmless curiosity; and saved for it’s weird factor. Make sure he understands the ramifications of such porn, and morover, some PRIVATE counseling might do him good. I can’t say this strongly enough, DO NOT GET AUTHOURITIES INVOLVED!!! Chances are he’s normal sexually, Chances are he’s covering for a friend. Don’t ruin your son’s life over what could be nothing. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/38 "2003-11-20T02:28:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*My gut tells me it’s 2, it could be someone he’s good buddies with, and he knows or thinks he knows that if you find out, that you’ll “ruin” their friendship by going to his buddies’ parents. > > It could just have been a sick joke. Boys that age can be really gross and not understand the consequences of their actions. It doesn’t mean that they are “into” kiddie porn. > > Best wishes, I know this has got to be so tough. Having raised one child through the teen years, and with my son having just turned 13 and about to embark upon that “wonderful” time. I really feel for you. > > Keep the lines of communication open, definitely don’t give up til you get to the bottom of it. > > Hang in there… \*\* When I was in eighth grade, a picture from the simpsons went around my science class. Bart, baby Maggie, she lost her pacifier, so he offered her a substitute… Until the kid who brought it in was sent to the principal’s office, neither he nor anyone else thought anything beyond “eew, gross! hahaha!” A kid your son’s age might not even know the legal ramifications of pictures like the ones he had. I’d only **really** worry if you explain it all to him and something else turned up in his possession. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/39 "2003-11-20T02:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeaganTheWolf \* > Another non-Parent checking in here. At that age I was interested in looking at ALL SORTS of bizzare porn and grotesque images. This included lolita, beastiality, fisting, bsdm, and anything else wierd. I turned out normal. Chances are, and i’m making this judgement based on the fact that you’ve found lingerie pics ect, That this was harmless curiosity; and saved for it’s weird factor. Make sure he understands the ramifications of such porn, and morover, some PRIVATE counseling might do him good. I can’t say this strongly enough, DO NOT GET AUTHOURITIES INVOLVED!!! Chances are he’s normal sexually, Chances are he’s covering for a friend. Don’t ruin your son’s life over what could be nothing. Definitely, the assumption here is that the kid is into the porn. That isn’t right to begin with (he’s denied it and you don’t know any more), so anywhere you go from that point is based on a false premise. The poor kid’s just looking at the world with giant eyes, at he moment, taking everything in. And he probably pretty badly needs someone to actually, verbally give him the benefit of the doubt. ---
**Author:** ![DeaganTheWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DeaganTheWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeaganTheWolf)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140/40 "2003-11-20T03:08:48Z")
Maybe we misunderstand each other, I AM giving him the benefit of the doubt. I wasn’t “Into” The porn, not in a sexual way. It was just something that was fun to look at for it’s weird factor. But kiddie porn is never cool, and a talk is needed. If i’ve misunderstood you sorry! Cheers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-child-porn/214140.md?page=3)