# Finding Love on Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930 "2016-01-23T02:04:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/41 "2016-01-25T20:04:48Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Close! We met on the board, but not at a Dopefest. Sure it was…Dopers planned a meet-up and got together. It just had very low attendance. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/42 "2016-01-25T20:07:50Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > It’s probably just because I’m an old fart, but I can’t make heads or tails of Reddit. I mean, I can read stuff on it, to a certain extent. But I tried posting something on there once, and I literally couldn’t make any sense out of how to go about it. Do people have conversations on there?’ Of course they do. It’s what this place could have been if the management had half a clue way back when. What’s confusing you is the default format. They have a mode that will make it look just like here (and vB can be made to look like the Reddit default). Reddit is actually more old school than new. It’s more like the Usenet of the mid90s than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/43 "2016-01-25T20:13:58Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I am not answering for **MsRobyn** , but I can give a perspective from someone who missed the first five years of SDMB and then lurked for a while before registering in 2005. > > I wandered into SDMB in 2004 via a link (Weird Earl’s) from the Straight Dope page, which I had been reading for a few years. I can’t remember exactly how I learned about the snark pit or snack pit or whatever it was I found. I’m sure it was from a mention of it on SDMB. > > The pit that I found consisted mostly of threads ragging on people on SDMB. There was even a “field guide” to prominent players on SDMB, detailing their backstories and putting every one of them in an unflattering light. Dope fests were mentioned in these “bios” a lot. All of the posts were anonymous, of course. > > If I had been a participant in those dope fests, realizing that anonymous a$$holes were going to make fun of the people there might have discourgaed me from further participation. Then again, it may have encourgaged me to be a bigger fool than I already am. Who knows? Thanks. That would explain it. I always wondered where the judgemental immature cowardly assholes of the Dope went to hone their craft. Now I know I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/44 "2016-01-26T12:56:49Z")
MaxTheVool met on the SDMB back in the early 2000s. We dated long distance for a while, until it became clear that we wanted very different things out of life. A while later, he met Araminty here on the SDMB. IIRC, the two of them ended up getting married. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/45 "2016-01-29T15:05:41Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > …Also, I think the snark boards had a chilling effect; at least they did for me. > [@billfish678](#): > > Just curious. What do you mean by that? The last year there was a Gettysdope was also the first Gettysdope we ever attended. There was one in the works for the following year, but several people said they wouldn’t attend because of something posted elsewhere after the previous one. I did some googling and found it - and someone who had attended was posting very nasty personal insults about attendees. We never knew who it was, but the thought that someone would come to a social gathering and then be so nasty to the people he (I assume it was male) had been hanging out with, was pretty damn offputting. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/46 "2016-01-29T16:37:47Z")
This reminds me that we haven’t had a Central Floridope in like a decade. Time to rectify that (though many of the people that used to attend are no longer posting). ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/47 "2016-02-03T19:37:12Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Of course they do. It’s what this place could have been if the management had half a clue way back when. > > What’s confusing you is the default format. They have a mode that will make it look just like here (and vB can be made to look like the Reddit default). Reddit is actually more old school than new. It’s more like the Usenet of the mid90s than anything else. No, Reddit is quite different from here. It is still as it was originally designed–primarily a link aggregation service. Here, posting just a link is horrible–there it’s what is expected. This provides a foundation that is always present. The forum aspect of the site was added a bit later, but it still revolves around the links. There are some plain posts, but even those are treated like content more often than not–although occasionally they are treated like questions. The diversity helps. The threaded conversations that are sorted through gamification are a core part of how the platform works. Having to read entire threads doesn’t scale, so sorting through what is worth reading works better. And rewarding people with fake points gives feedback on the quality of contributions. Seeing either a list of all posts or having to check each forum individually doesn’t scale, either. So they have another reward system that allows them to sort submissions. And the ability to customize which subforums are visible allow for a customized experience, much better than subscribing to individual threads. With this model, user-created subforums can compete with each other, thus pushing the best ones to the top. The same model pushes up the best posts and the best comments, allowing the bad stuff to fall to the bottom. And all of this without any direct involvement of anyone actually working for Reddit. The thing is, old forums never scaled. Neither did Usenet. And Reddit removed pretty much all the barriers to entry (you don’t even need an email address), so people flocked there. Since it could scale, it did, and it basically took over the forum space, despite not actually being a forum system itself. So, no. The SDMB could not have become Reddit, any more than all the other forums which also did not become Reddit. It maybe could have become the Something Awful Forums (the highest ranking general topic forum, excluding 4chan since it works differently). (Surprisingly, [straightdope.com](http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/straightdope.com) is not much less popular than [somethingawful.com](http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/forums.somethingawful.com), according to Alexa. Heck, it’s doing better globally.) ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/48 "2016-02-03T21:16:11Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > I think that’s a big stretch as a way to explain it. Maybe some of it’s fluff, but there are other message board type places that have far more traffic, and are growing. The general trend is people spending _more_ time online. I myself like the SDMB, but the decline in activity isn’t something I applaud. That’s because the trend with the young’uns is to share everything in real time using real names. The Dope is a dinosaur in that respect, Reddit notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/49 "2016-02-03T21:37:34Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > The pit that I found consisted mostly of threads ragging on people on SDMB. There was even a “field guide” to prominent players on SDMB, detailing their backstories and putting every one of them in an unflattering light. Dope fests were mentioned in these “bios” a lot. All of the posts were anonymous, of course. > > If I had been a participant in those dope fests, realizing that anonymous a$$holes were going to make fun of the people there might have discourgaed me from further participation. Then again, it may have encourgaged me to be a bigger fool than I already am. Who knows? There was also a fairly large anonymous SDMB snark community on LiveJournal where anybody could anonymously post anything about another Doper. A lot of the veteran-at-the-time Dopers were slammed in that community, so much so that they not only left here en masse but also left LJ. The community folded soon after. There was, for a time, a smaller anonymous snark community on Dead Journal, I believe, which concentrated more on pointing/laughing at threads posted here. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/50 "2016-02-04T12:50:44Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > There was one in the works for the following year, but several people said they wouldn’t attend because of something posted elsewhere after the previous one. I did some googling and found it - and someone who had attended was posting very nasty personal insults about attendees. We never knew who it was, but the thought that someone would come to a social gathering and then be so nasty to the people he **(I assume it was male)** had been hanging out with, was pretty damn offputting. (holding mine) I’ve been thinking about this off and on since I read it, and have discussed it with a few friends. Overwhelmingly, my circle of friends would assume the behavior to be from a female, especially if it had to do with dress or looks. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/51 "2016-02-04T14:22:54Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > There was also a fairly large anonymous SDMB snark community on LiveJournal where anybody could anonymously post anything about another Doper. A lot of the veteran-at-the-time Dopers were slammed in that community, so much so that they not only left here en masse but also left LJ. The community folded soon after. > > There was, for a time, a smaller anonymous snark community on Dead Journal, I believe, which concentrated more on pointing/laughing at threads posted here. I suppose we should be flattered that anybody cared enough to bother. Still, that sounds like pretty jerkish stuff. People! Sheesh, whaddaya gonna do wid 'em? ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/52 "2016-02-04T15:11:39Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I suppose we should be flattered that anybody cared enough to bother. Still, that sounds like pretty jerkish stuff. A longtime online friend of mine who I initially met here was raked over the coals. Years later it still comes up in conversation. Heck, I was the subject of another thread which quickly died because I was fairly new to both here and LJ; ergo, nobody knew me, so to speak. In hindsight, it was the anonymity factor which fostered such communities. There were a ton of them on LJ, the subjects of whom were either purposely looking for attention and therefore “asking for it” (according to the populace) or they had no idea how to self-edit themselves. Think of it as bullies on a playground: The more you inadvertently gave ammunition to people, the more they could use it against you. Online behavior wasn’t/isn’t much different. Consequently it’s made message boards a much different place nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/53 "2016-02-04T15:22:20Z")
For sure anonymity brings out psychopathic behavior. And the more anonymous the situation, the worse the behavior gets. Very few jerkish drivers behave that way when standing in a line, much less amongst their coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/54 "2016-02-04T22:31:45Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Didn’t said child post by special permission when still a baby? So technically, he is already a Doper. > > Regards, > Shodan Well, yeah, but he’s old enough to post under his own power, should he choose to. He’s a smart kid who has some interesting things to say. He just chooses not to post them here. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930/55 "2016-02-04T22:46:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > (holding mine) > > I’ve been thinking about this off and on since I read it, and have discussed it with a few friends. Overwhelmingly, my circle of friends would assume the behavior to be from a female, especially if it had to do with dress or looks. Maybe, but as I recall, the group heavily skewed male and the female attendees did NOT seem like the sort to post something like this. I don’t think anything was said about attire, the comments were more about body type. Pretty much all the females there would have fit into the despised category anyway. Sigh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finding-love-on-straight-dope/743930.md?page=2)