# Finish the Joke Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [September 23, 2020, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297 "2020-09-23T09:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/1 "2020-09-23T09:33:42Z")
So I said to myself, who doesn’t like jokes? 🙂 I know this may sound a bit challenging, but perhaps there are more people who would like to contribute to the funny side of life… The idea of the game is that you should finish the joke that the previous player has begun. And after completing it, you are to write the beginning of the next joke. That’s it. I will put down the opening line of the first joke: * * * _A deaf man enters a bar._ ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/2 "2020-09-23T12:36:09Z")
…bartender says, “you want a beer?” Deaf man says “that’s right, I can’t hear.” (He was a bad lip reader). That’s all I got for now. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/3 "2020-09-23T12:37:11Z")
> [@solost](#): > > That’s all I got for now Yes, great! But you need to write the beginning of the next joke as well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/4 "2020-09-23T12:38:09Z")
Right, ok, donald trump and Joe Biden walk into a bar… (hope political humor is ok in this thread…) ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/5 "2020-09-23T12:49:06Z")
Only Joe walks out. Two men enter one man leave. What do you call a conservative Supreme Court justice candidate? ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/6 "2020-09-23T12:53:39Z")
I noticed that **Si\_Amigo** was writing the end of the joke while I was writing mine, so I just waited. However, I want to post mine as well (even though it’s not that great): _Donald Trump and Joe Biden walk into a bar and either of them orders a glass of water._ _“I don’t need to drink alcohol,” says Biden. “I sleep like a baby wherever I go.”_ _“I don’t need to drink alcohol either,” says Trump. “I swear like a drunken sailor wherever I go.”_ Now let’s go back to the game. 🙂 * * * > [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > What do you call a conservative Supreme Court justice candidate? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/7 "2020-09-23T14:16:39Z")
It doesn’t matter what you call her; Mitch McConnell will do his damnedest to get her confirmed. How many Zen hot dog vendors does it take to change a lightbulb? ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/8 "2020-09-23T14:50:19Z")
_How many Zen hot dog vendors does it take to change a light bulb?_ _None. They’re too Zen to bother._ \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_- A man walks into a doctor’s office. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/9 "2020-09-23T15:17:58Z")
He says, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this!” The Doc says, “Well, then, don’t do that.” * * * What did the Inbox say to the Outbox? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/10 "2020-09-23T17:11:49Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > What did the Inbox say to the Outbox? “You should try doing my job, it’s a real pain in the butt.” How many trump Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/11 "2020-09-23T18:55:27Z")
> [@solost](#): > > How many trump Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Burned out lightbulbs are fake news. How many words can Trump misspell in one tweet? ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/12 "2020-09-23T19:03:28Z")
Two hundred and eighty words. He’d misspell the word “I” that many times. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Knock Knock, whose there? Angie. Angie who? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2020, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/13 "2020-09-23T19:27:32Z")
🎶 Angie loves you and you know that can’t be bad… 🎶 * * * A chicken walks into a bar. ---
**Author:** ![tavaritz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71e660/32.png) [@tavaritz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavaritz)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2020, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/14 "2020-09-24T07:54:46Z")
And asks: “Who the hell put a bar in the middle of the road? All I wanted was to cross it.” How many mask-deniers it takes to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2020, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/15 "2020-09-24T08:41:32Z")
None. They ask the landlord to do it for them and stop paying the rent until a new light bulb has been put in. * * * A man buys a parrot for his son. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/16 "2020-09-25T05:26:50Z")
Later, he asks the son how he likes the parrot. The son said, “It was delicious.” The man said, “You ate it? That parrot could speak three languages!” The son said, “Then why didn’t it say something before I cooked it?” Why did the athlete take a roll of barbed wire to the Olympics? _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/17 "2020-09-25T05:56:09Z")
I enjoyed reading this one: _A man buys a parrot for his son._ _Later, he asks the son how he likes the parrot._ _The son said, “It was delicious.”_ _The man said, “You ate it? That parrot could speak three languages!”_ _The son said, “Then why didn’t it say something before I cooked it?”_ Okay, let’s continue and let the inspiration flow. * * * > [@Bicycle\_Bill](#): > > Why did the athlete take a roll of barbed wire to the Olympics? > > _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/18 "2020-09-25T13:04:34Z")
> [@Bicycle\_Bill](#): > > Why did the athlete take a roll of barbed wire to the Olympics? He was unclear on the concept of drug spiking. Why do Vulcans have green blood? ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/19 "2020-09-25T19:52:42Z")
_Why do Vulcans have green blood?_ _On their first intergalactic voyage they abducted a human who turned out to be Saint Patrick._ * * * A Brexiteer and a Remainer enter a bar. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2020, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297/20 "2020-09-28T23:24:27Z")
Actually, on the ‘barbed wire’ lead-in, I was expecting a punchline that referred to the sport of fencing. Carry on. _ **-“BB”-** _ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-joke-thread/921297.md?page=2)