# Finish the Limerick **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499 "2007-06-26T17:40:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![guppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@guppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guppy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/41 "2007-06-27T20:57:36Z")
[QUOTE=Beadalin] You’ve probably heard of Aunt Bea… [/QUOTE] You’ve probably heard of Aunt Bea Who made lemonade out of her pee The whole town did thought It was the best lemonade they bought Until they all ended up with V.D. Miss Annie worked down by the dock… ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/42 "2007-06-27T21:15:00Z")
[QUOTE=guppy] Miss Annie worked down by the dock… [/QUOTE] …From morning till past one o’clock Doing favours for sailors And skippers, and whalers And anyone blessed with a cock. Next: A dentist’s apprentice named Smithers… ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/43 "2007-06-27T21:55:29Z")
A dentist’s apprentice named Smithers Caught a pre-coital case of the dithers With endurance to gain Shot his tool with procaine Now his pecker just droops there and withers. A drunken graverobber from Leicester ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2007, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/44 "2007-06-27T23:26:04Z")
[QUOTE=El Cid Viscoso] A drunken graverobber from Leicester [/QUOTE] A drunken graverobber from Leicester Would rarely leave bodies to feicester Depressingly often He’d dig up a coffin Of a girl and proceed to moleicester There was a young man from Cape Cod… ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/45 "2007-06-27T23:53:33Z")
There was a young man from Cape Cod Whose friends were quite easily awed So they ferried to Siasconset For a rave 'mongst the wan-set They all mooched 'til our Goth blew his wad A fey terrier named Proserpina ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/46 "2007-06-28T00:49:53Z")
Jesus **Cid** , not making it easy on us anymore eh? 😉 A fey terrier named Proserpina Had an outsized red rocket wein-ah From the yard to the pound it dragged on the ground so the dog never kept it clean-ah. Here’s one about good old McMack… ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/47 "2007-06-28T10:48:17Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Here’s one about good old McMack… [/QUOTE] …who was stumped by a tale of duck’s quack. When he heard they don’t echo He said “What the heck? Oh how stupid, I’ve not read the FAQ!” Next: A genius, name: Adams, Cecil… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/48 "2007-06-28T13:14:38Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] …who was stumped by a tale of duck’s quack. When he heard they don’t echo He said “What the heck? Oh how stupid, I’ve not read the FAQ!” Next: A genius, name: Adams, Cecil… [/QUOTE] Had a brain that gave folks quite a thrill But that’s all that he had And he was often quite sad Until he found a little blue pill When a poster named Annie was banned ---
**Author:** ![guppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@guppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guppy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/49 "2007-06-28T14:22:44Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] When a poster named Annie was banned [/QUOTE] She created a sock and flames fanned Soon she was spotted And got her ass modded Now other message boards she does spam The once was a farmer called Ted… ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/50 "2007-06-28T14:37:56Z")
The once was a farmer called Ted… And to his own cousin was he wed The kids that they had Turned out pretty bad All three attached at the head. Up next is our good friend Juan… ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/51 "2007-06-28T14:44:06Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Up next is our good friend Juan… [/QUOTE] Up next is our good friend Juan Turns out Juan was a man with a plan This cunning marauder Dug under the border But turned left and came up in Japan Next: A comely young lady from Gloucester… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/52 "2007-06-28T14:46:19Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Up next is our good friend Juan… [/QUOTE] Who does naughty things to his flan He laughs when it wiggles It gives him the giggles If he asks if you want some, say “NONE!” There once was a large hairy bear… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/53 "2007-06-28T14:49:21Z")
Damn, got beat to it… oh well… A comely young lady from Gloucester Desired to become a jouster She parried and thrusted Til her corset she busted And her bosom came falling all ouster. There once was a large hairy bear… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/54 "2007-06-28T17:25:51Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] There once was a large hairy bear… [/QUOTE] There once was a large hairy bear Who felt shy 'cause his derriere Could never toot loud Except in a crowd: Bear farts aren’t real with no others there. There once was a stand-up comedian ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/55 "2007-06-28T18:16:19Z")
There once was a stand up comedian Whose jokes tended toward the quotidian He said “take my wife please” But this one drunken sleaze Tried to show her his trumpet of Gideon. A mail carrier once went berserk… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/56 "2007-06-28T18:17:20Z")
There once was a stand-up comedian Who played a big gig in a seedy inn. The gig went so bad He ran out, raving mad And got run over on the highway median. A man once went very postal… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/57 "2007-06-28T18:26:44Z")
Okay, I was trying to work “postal” in there somehow, but mine scans better 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/58 "2007-06-28T18:51:31Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] A mail carrier once went berserk… [/QUOTE] A mail carrier once went berserk, Due to stresses encountered at work He vented his spleen Kicked a sorting machine Now his foot’s gone by air to Grand Turk. Next: There once was an aeroplane pilot… ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/59 "2007-06-28T19:02:11Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] There once was an aeroplane pilot… [/QUOTE] There once was an aeroplane pilot, Who’d spy on the john’s through an eyelet, A lady who poked out his retna was removed by security in New Gretna, And now resides in Guantanimo, I bet. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499/60 "2007-06-28T19:09:26Z")
There once was an aeroplane pilot, who was schtupping a stew name of violet. in the head they did screw while the first mate and crew passed out drinks and watched through the eyelet. Twas a young shooter named Willie… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-limerick/409499.md?page=4)