# Finish the Police/Law-enforcement procedural cliche... **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 8, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313 "2008-12-08T22:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/1 "2008-12-08T22:42:39Z")
Inspired, of course, by similar threads on movie cliches, and sitcom cliches (not to mention having just watched a cliche-ridden episode of “Law & Order: SVU”). Let’s see if this flies. You know the drill by now, I start by setting up a cliche situation from a police/law-enforcerment agency procedural show, and the next poster finishes it, then sets up another cliche. To start with, a female police officer (it’s always the female officer on the squad) is being pursued by an unseen, but violent stalker. When her commanding officer suggests put some plainclothes surveillance men to watch over her. the female officer says… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/2 "2008-12-09T00:38:06Z")
_“I don’t need your help, I can take care of it!”_ The female officer usually has a chip on her shoulder, doesn’t she? Okay, my setup: The big, burly commanding officer takes the “hero” cop off of the case he’s been intensely pursuing, and put’s him on some kind of administrative leave. The “hero” then proceeds to… ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/3 "2008-12-09T17:17:54Z")
…continue to investigate the case, of course. In the meantime, the hero’s partner… ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/4 "2008-12-09T17:41:22Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > …continue to investigate the case, of course. > > In the meantime, the hero’s partner… …gets killed on what appears to be a routine bust by what later turns out to be his partners in crime for whatever courupt illegal activity he was involved in. Meanwhile, back in the DAs office, representatives from the opposing counsel suddenly show up with dozens of bankers boxes full of documents. The DA then… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/5 "2008-12-10T06:36:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Meanwhile, back in the DAs office, representatives from the opposing counsel suddenly show up with dozens of bankers boxes full of documents. The DA then… …says “they’re trying to bury us with paper. Well, better order in,” he comments as he rolls up his sleeves. His assistant(s) make faces as they must now cancel social appointments, arrange for babysitters, worry about their kids forgetting what they look like etc. Meanwhile, in a van filled with surveillance equipment, a cop watches a monitor. His partner opens the back door and climbs in, carrying cups of coffee. The first cop takes one and says… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/6 "2008-12-10T14:32:47Z")
either “Took you long enough, didn’t it?” OR “You didn’t miss anything.” When the precinct captain demands that an accused (wrongly, naturally) cop turn in his badge and his gun while the investigation is underway, the cop will… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/7 "2008-12-10T22:10:33Z")
…continue to secretly investigate the case, of course. When the couse of his inquiries brings him face to face with the sneering suspect, the steely-eyed cop snaps back with… ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/8 "2008-12-10T22:14:50Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > either “Took you long enough, didn’t it?” OR “You didn’t miss anything.” > > When the precinct captain demands that an accused (wrongly, naturally) cop turn in his badge and his gun while the investigation is underway, the cop will… …slam the gun & badge down on the table, look the captain straight in the eye and says “Are you happy now? You’ve know you’ve wanted to do this for years.” (or words to that effect.) The investigating officers question a suspect at his job site. The suspect is sullen, uncooperative and refuses to answer questions. The officers… ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/9 "2008-12-10T22:20:20Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > The investigating officers question a suspect at his job site. The suspect is sullen, uncooperative and refuses to answer questions. The officers… …brandish a video tape and say “maybe THIS will get you to talk!” A cop and his partner approach the front door of a suspect/witness. They knock, but there’s no response. They then… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/10 "2008-12-10T22:28:43Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > …brandish a video tape and say “maybe THIS will get you to talk!” > A cop and his partner approach the front door of a suspect/witness. They knock, but there’s no response. They then… …look in a window and see a body on the floor. The one cop turns to his partner and shouts… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/11 "2008-12-10T22:32:28Z")
“Looks like we’ve got a stiff!” When the sweet little old lady sleuth in the quaint English village looks out her front window and sees two young people kissing, she of course knows that… ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/12 "2008-12-11T09:51:56Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Looks like we’ve got a stiff!” > > When the sweet little old lady sleuth in the quaint English village looks out her front window and sees two young people kissing, she of course knows that… …the young woman’s husband will be found poisoned in about 2 minutes. However, the young woman’s lover will have an airtight alibi. With impeccable timing, old lady sleuth will unravel their web of murderous deceit but it will take her nearly 97% of the episode to do so. Meanwhile, the cop, stripped of his badge, returns to the crime scene later that night. He walks down the trash-filled alley. Thunder rumbles. He lifts up the police tape, stoops under and looks around. Sirens blare in the distance. An alley cat jumps out and startles him. As he watches the cat scamper away, something catches his eye! He squints, looks more closely, and sees… ---
**Author:** ![critter42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@critter42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/critter42)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/13 "2008-12-11T10:30:15Z")
An arm sticking out of the dumpster. The Criminal Forensics Unit (or Crime Scene Investigators ™ if you must) is called out, the yellow tape is strung, and dozens of cops, paramedics, firemen from any number of precincts/stations converge on the location from seemingly nowhere. The lead investigator examines the body, turns to his (or her) junior investigator and says… ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/14 "2008-12-11T14:59:25Z")
> [@critter42](#): > > An arm sticking out of the dumpster. > > The Criminal Forensics Unit (or Crime Scene Investigators ™ if you must) is called out, the yellow tape is strung, and dozens of cops, paramedics, firemen from any number of precincts/stations converge on the location from seemingly nowhere. The lead investigator examines the body, turns to his (or her) junior investigator and says… […oh…pretty much anything clever…after putting his sunglasses on](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948) After killing like 100 faceless henchmen, our hero has wounded the main badguy. After the badguy taunts him, the hero is about to deliver the coup de grace but his partner… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/15 "2008-12-11T15:05:55Z")
restrains him, saying, “C’mon, Joe. He’s not worth your badge. Let’s take him in.” The hero reluctantly assents. Later, in court, as the judge takes her seat, the hero and the main badguy lock eyes on each other, and… ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/16 "2008-12-11T15:17:57Z")
We would also have accepted an alternate ending where the bad guy pulls a hidden piece and the hero shoots him ten times. > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > restrains him, saying, “C’mon, Joe. He’s not worth your badge. Let’s take him in.” The hero reluctantly assents. Later, in court, as the judge takes her seat, the hero and the main badguy lock eyes on each other, and… …the judge declares a mistrial due to some technicality. A few minutes later, the bad guy and his entourage are surrounded by reporters as they leave the courthouse. As the bad guy is making his victory speech… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/17 "2008-12-11T15:35:37Z")
the hero gets close enough to glare at him and hisses, “This isn’t over, pal. Not by a long shot.” The main badguy sneers and says… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/18 "2008-12-11T15:53:33Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > the hero gets close enough to glare at him and hisses, “This isn’t over, pal. Not by a long shot.” The main badguy sneers and says… “You can’t prove anything!” A black cop, days away from retirement,… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/19 "2008-12-11T15:54:52Z")
is prevailed upon by his younger, gung-ho, white partner to do something he really doesn’t want to do. After he does it, the partner will grin and say… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/20 "2008-12-11T15:55:13Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > the hero gets close enough to glare at him and hisses, “This isn’t over, pal. Not by a long shot.” The main badguy sneers and says… “How’s your pretty little wife, detective? Daughter still on the soccer team?” Enraged, the hero takes a step towards the monster, but his level headed partner steps betweem them and says… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313.md?page=2)