# Finish the Police/Law-enforcement procedural cliche... **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 8, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313 "2008-12-08T22:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/21 "2008-12-11T16:01:01Z")
is guaranteed to have some inconsiderate perp commit a crime that only he has the the expertise to investigate, and thereby extend his ‘tour of duty’. When his partner gets shot during the following investigation… p.s. ignore me, I was late. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/22 "2008-12-11T16:09:11Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > is guaranteed to have some inconsiderate perp commit a crime that only he has the the expertise to investigate, and thereby extend his ‘tour of duty’. > > When his partner gets shot during the following investigation… he will delay his retirement even further, so that he can bring the shooter to justice. _(Back to the main badguy, sneering)…_ “How’s your pretty little wife, detective? Daughter still on the soccer team?” Enraged, the hero takes a step towards the monster, but his level headed partner steps betweem them and says… ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/23 "2008-12-11T16:38:51Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > […oh…pretty much anything clever…after putting his sunglasses on](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_saryh0z948) **Yeeeeaaaaah!** ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/24 "2008-12-11T16:52:53Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “How’s your pretty little wife, detective? Daughter still on the soccer team?” Enraged, the hero takes a step towards the monster, but his level headed partner steps betweem them and says… …“He’s not worth it.” The bad guy, having just been released on a technicality, is walking down the courthouse steps when… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/25 "2008-12-11T17:08:10Z")
from out of the media scrum, a skinny young guy comes bolting towards him. The bad guy’s henchmen… ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/26 "2008-12-11T17:36:21Z")
Fail to stop him as he fires three shots into the exonerated man’s gut before being wrestled to the ground… ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/27 "2008-12-11T17:43:00Z")
. . . and mentions some obscure minor incident in the first 20 minutes of the film. Meanwhile, in the UK, the detective gathers all the suspects into one room and . . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/28 "2008-12-11T19:22:49Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Meanwhile, in the UK, the detective gathers all the suspects into one room and . . . . The detective will spend several minutes taking each party in turn and setting it up to look like they were the murderer, only to explain why it couldn’t have been them, before finallly getting to the real murderer. Bonus points if this was a ploy to get the suspect to admit something only the murderer would have known. In a high-speed chase down a busy freeway, if the vehicle being pursued is a van… ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/29 "2008-12-11T19:23:07Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > In a high-speed chase down a busy freeway, if the vehicle being pursued is a van… … people inside will pop open the sliding door to the side to expose a ridiculous bazooka/fully auto-machine gun just as the detective’s car pulls up alongside. Further, the van will only come to a stop after flipping over five or six times. (from earlier) A black cop, days away from retirement is prevailed upon by his younger, gung-ho, white partner to do something he really doesn’t want to do. After he does it, the partner will grin and say… ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/30 "2008-12-12T22:54:14Z")
> [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](#): > > … people inside will pop open the sliding door to the side to expose a ridiculous bazooka/fully auto-machine gun just as the detective’s car pulls up alongside. Further, the van will only come to a stop after flipping over five or six times. > > (from earlier) > > A black cop, days away from retirement is prevailed upon by his younger, gung-ho, white partner to do something he really doesn’t want to do. After he does it, the partner will grin and say… …“Admit it, this beats sitting in the park feeding pigeons all day.” The crusty, outspoken but extremely wealthy lord of an english manor gets bumped off during a weekend-long country excursion with several guests in attendance. Three inevitable suspects will be… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/31 "2008-12-12T23:10:23Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > The crusty, outspoken but extremely wealthy lord of an english manor gets bumped off during a weekend-long country excursion with several guests in attendance. Three inevitable suspects will be… … the boyfriend of the cute French maid; the gardener whose daughter the lord has had his eye on for some time; and the beautiful young socialite, who is, in actuality, the lord’s mistress. A bank holdup has gone wrong, and the bank employees are now being held hostage. The PD’s chief hostage negotiator is called in, and a phone line is set up between the negotiator and the hostage takers. What demands do the hostage takers make, and how does the negotiator respond? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/32 "2008-12-12T23:20:51Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > A bank holdup has gone wrong, and the bank employees are now being held hostage. The PD’s chief hostage negotiator is called in, and a phone line is set up between the negotiator and the hostage takers. What demands do the hostage takers make, and how does the negotiator respond? Trick question. The demands themselves are usually just a load of bullshit to distract the cops for the remaining 120 minutes as the heist is just a smoke screen for some much larger heist. And it doesn’t matter if you are Agent Johnson (no, the other one), Kevin ‘The Negotiator’ Spacy or Denzel Washington himself. You will also proceed right from the FBI playbook… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/33 "2008-12-13T03:58:36Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > You will also proceed right from the FBI playbook… …even though you know it’s the wrong move and the bad guys are a step ahead of you, because your anal-retentitive boss overconfidently believes the bad guys are stupid, and the leader of the SWAT team wants to… ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/34 "2008-12-13T16:08:13Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > and the leader of the SWAT team wants to… shoot the silhouetted target he has in his sights, not knowing it’s a hostage with an empty gun tied to their hands. But then something neither the hostage takers nor the police had counted on happens: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/35 "2008-12-13T17:28:59Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > …even though you know it’s the wrong move and the bad guys are a step ahead of you, because your anal-retentitive boss overconfidently believes the bad guys are stupid, and the leader of the SWAT team wants to… I was going to say “cut the power and make them sweat it out a bit” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/36 "2008-12-13T17:36:45Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > But then something neither the hostage takers nor the police had counted on happens: A little kid wanders into the scene, just playing. A police officer tries to tackle him and… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2008, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/37 "2008-12-14T15:30:03Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > A little kid wanders into the scene, just playing. A police officer tries to tackle him and… … a nervous rookie cop opens fire, at which point … ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/38 "2008-12-15T03:56:57Z")
the hero vaults through midair in slow-mo, shouting “Noooooo!” in a deep bass voice, as he tries to hurl himself between the rookie cop and the little kid. A hundred years earlier, the sheriff of the little Wild West town has just learned that the bank has been robbed. He hurls a gob of tobacco into the spittoon, puts on his gunbelt and drawls to his deputy… ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/39 "2008-12-15T04:23:39Z")
“Round up a posse, pardner.” When said group catches up with the robbers… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313/40 "2008-12-15T14:41:16Z")
they will cower behind rocks and shoot at each other until just enough bad guys have been killed or wounded for the others to, with voices quavering with fear, shout, “OK, Sheriff, you got us! We give up!” The sheriff and his posse will then… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-the-police-law-enforcement-procedural-cliche/476313.md?page=3)