# Finish this joke if you think you're clever enough **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 30, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708 "2013-05-30T13:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/1 "2013-05-30T13:58:33Z")
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… If this sound familiar to you here’s why: It’s a Breakfast Club reference. It’s the joke Judd Nelson was telling before he fell through the ceiling, RIGHT before he got to the punchline, which we never got to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/2 "2013-05-30T14:06:57Z")
“No, but my dachshund could use a bowl of water.” Aside: unfinished jokes are great for the old dial-a-joke shen. You record your answering machine message as "Hi, you’re reached Dial-A-Joke! Today’s laugher: [tell above joke fragment]…_beeep!_ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/3 "2013-05-30T17:03:58Z")
Naked lady says… Bugger off, asswipe! But get me a beer first! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/4 "2013-05-30T17:18:25Z")
“Not me, but the hair of the dog for this one.” ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/5 "2013-05-30T17:25:49Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… No, but you got any nailclippers I could borrow? I think I started a thread about the missing punchline a while back, maybe when John Hughes passed. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/6 "2013-05-30T17:32:46Z")
Naked lady says… “No, but I’m going to need a dozen of your pickled eggs, a shot glass and a pair tongs. I call this act ‘The Aristocrats’” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/7 "2013-05-30T17:38:02Z")
“Not while I’m working.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/8 "2013-05-30T18:15:11Z")
Naked lady says, “Weekends were made for Michelob.” ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/9 "2013-05-30T21:42:03Z")
“No, but you could help me out: You see I bought this for my husband, but Fifi here has a very good nose and – well, I’m wondering if you could help me _hide the salami_.” —G! Come on, Sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the _hot beef injection_? –Bender to Clark The Breakfast Club ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/10 "2013-05-31T05:31:55Z")
“Now where the heck did I leave my money?” ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/11 "2013-05-31T09:38:21Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… Like hell, I’ll have a pitcher of margaritas. Oh, and some mouthwash for the dog. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/12 "2013-05-31T10:11:41Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… Yes, I DO need a drink. I want a Tom Collins, but I’m too afraid ask: look what happened when I said I wanted his hot salami doggy-style? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/13 "2013-05-31T20:08:11Z")
It’s not so much a puchline as…the rest of the story: Blonde: A drink? Don’t you care about the sex on your table? Barkeep: What sex on the table Blonde: I just laid a poodle there Barkeep: I suppose you did. What are you gonna do with him now? Blonde: I dunno. I got him expressly for that pupose. Barkeep: I see. What’d you get the salami for? Blonde: Two bucks a pound ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/14 "2013-05-31T20:37:36Z")
I may be misremembering, but I heard once that Nelson ad-libbed this “joke” and there was never a real punchline. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/15 "2013-05-31T20:49:57Z")
Naked lady says “I don’t get it, what part of ‘very kinky’ don’t they understand?” ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/16 "2013-05-31T21:28:28Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… I could use a beer. I tried to get into Oktoberfest, but my sausage is Italian, my dog is French and I’m Swedish. Only my peasant dress was authentic. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/17 "2013-05-31T21:28:54Z")
Naked lady says: “No, but I need a cigarette. Also, let me tell you, when I went to the sausage shop down the street and asked for a salami and a hot dog, this wasn’t really what I meant.” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/18 "2013-05-31T21:34:20Z")
Alasti blondi kävelee baariin, jossa villakoira alle yksi käsi ja kaksi jalka salamia toisen alle. Hän asettaa villakoira pöydälle. Baarimikko sanoo: Oletan et tarvitse juoda. Naked lady sanoo… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/19 "2013-05-31T23:52:30Z")
Naked lady says “Man, I really screwed the pooch tonight”. The bartender says “Well, looks like it didn’t hurt him any, but I wouldn’t eat the salami.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/20 "2013-06-01T07:28:38Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Alasti blondi kävelee baariin, jossa villakoira alle yksi käsi ja kaksi jalka salamia toisen alle. Hän asettaa villakoira pöydälle. Baarimikko sanoo: Oletan et tarvitse juoda. Naked lady sanoo… “So Suomi, already!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708.md?page=2)