# Finish this joke if you think you're clever enough **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 30, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708 "2013-05-30T13:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/21 "2013-06-01T08:07:04Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Naked lady says “Man, I really screwed the pooch tonight”. > The bartender says “Well, looks like it didn’t hurt him any, but I wouldn’t eat the salami.” Ok this is pretty good, and includes both the dog and the salami and it’s funny. A naked woman holding a salami and a poodle definitely had something go terribly wrong so the phrase “screwed the pooch” is especially appropriate. Still doesn’t quite explain why the bartender would automatically assume she wouldn’t be having a drink that night though, which would be key to making a truly wonderful punchline. ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/22 "2013-06-01T12:22:04Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Alasti blondi kävelee baariin, jossa villakoira alle yksi käsi ja kaksi jalka salamia toisen alle. Hän asettaa villakoira pöydälle. Baarimikko sanoo: Oletan et tarvitse juoda. Naked lady sanoo… “Nakedly blonde walks into a bar, where poodle under one hand and two foot salami under other. She place poodle on the table. Bartender says: I presume you no need to drink. Naked lady says…” … I guess we’ll be getting our perfect machine translations the same year a computer passes the Turing test and we all have flying cars. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/23 "2013-06-01T12:47:03Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Alasti blondi kävelee baariin, jossa villakoira alle yksi käsi ja kaksi jalka salamia toisen alle. Hän asettaa villakoira pöydälle. Baarimikko sanoo: Oletan et tarvitse juoda. Naked lady sanoo… Do you waaaaaant to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/24 "2013-06-01T12:48:53Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > “No, but my dachshund could use a bowl of water.” > Aside: unfinished jokes are great for the old dial-a-joke shen. You record your answering machine message as "Hi, you’re reached Dial-A-Joke! Today’s laugher: [tell above joke fragment]…_beeep!_ I read this one, took me a moment to understand it. But it’s my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/25 "2013-06-01T17:28:35Z")
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says…“My boyfriend said he wanted to play hide the salami with me and a French bitch, and when I show up ready to go, he throws me out!” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/26 "2013-06-01T17:51:12Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… “Don’t think, pour; anything cold & strong. And don’t ever date a ‘deli-man’. They’re all -ssholes.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/27 "2013-06-01T19:53:13Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > “Nakedly blonde walks into a bar, where poodle under one hand and two foot salami under other. She place poodle on the table. Bartender says: I presume you no need to drink. Naked lady says…” > > … I guess we’ll be getting our perfect machine translations the same year a computer passes the Turing test and we all have flying cars. ☹ The machine’s Finnish is a darn sight better than mine, at that. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/28 "2013-06-02T12:51:50Z")
Naked lady says: What do you mean? And the bartender says: Well, by the looks of you, you’ve already had a Sexin’ the Pooch and a Dry Salami. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/29 "2013-06-02T13:06:53Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > “Nakedly blonde walks into a bar, where poodle under one hand and two foot salami under other. She place poodle on the table. Bartender says: I presume you no need to drink. Naked lady says…” > > … I guess we’ll be getting our perfect machine translations the same year a computer passes the Turing test and we all have flying cars. ☹ So sue me, I’m not that clever, I let Google finnish the joke for me. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708/30 "2013-06-05T04:33:44Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… Yes, I’ll have a drink. I was the designated driver the last time we went out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-if-you-think-youre-clever-enough/659708.md?page=1)