# Finish this joke with more nationalities **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689 "2005-09-27T16:10:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/1 "2005-09-27T16:10:29Z")
A friend sent this to me, and we thought it would be fun if Dopers would add their own. What do you do if you find a fly in your coffee cup? If you’re BRITISH – You pour out the coffee. Go without. If you’re AMERICAN – You dig out the fly. Drink the coffee. If you’re CHINESE – You eat the fly. Pour out the coffee. If you’re JAPANESE – You drink the coffee with the fly. Hey, it was Free! If you’re ISRAELI – You sell the fly to a Chinese, the coffee to an american. Buy fresh cup of coffee. If you’re PALESTINIAN – You blame the Israelis for throwing the fly into the coffee in the first place. Call it unacceptable violence. Ask for U.N. intervention in the matter. Ask E.U. for a loan to buy a fresh cup of coffee. Use the money to buy explosives. A friend and I added: If you’re E. INDIAN - you ask forgiveness of the fly in case it might be reincarnated to someone you will know. Then dump the coffee and make a proper cup of tea. Anyone else? Blondes, blacks, Bush-haters, Clinton-haters, anything! Most of you know my nationality, I’ve mentioned it enough times. Bonus points if you can identify my friend’s nationality. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/2 "2005-09-27T16:13:34Z")
Pakistani? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/3 "2005-09-27T16:28:15Z")
If you’re Scottish-You dump it out and get a pint. If a fly lands in that, you pick it out, slap it on the back, and shout “Spit it oot, spit it oot!” If you’re French-Put it on a plate and make a sauce for it. If you’re Italian-Pick it out and give it back to your sister. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/4 "2005-09-27T16:35:36Z")
If you’re Irish, you sing “When Irish Eyes are Smiling” with the now thoroughly hammered fly, then it buys the next round. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/5 "2005-09-27T16:39:30Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > A friend sent this to me, and we thought it would be fun if Dopers would add their own. > > What do you do if you find a fly in your coffee cup? > > If you’re AMERICAN – —you call your lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![billfritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/54ee81/32.png) [@billfritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfritter)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/6 "2005-09-27T16:57:52Z")
If you’re Canadian you decide it must be summer and switch to lemonade. ---
**Author:** ![swanky\_glue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@swanky\_glue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swanky_glue)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/7 "2005-09-27T16:59:33Z")
If you are Southern, pick the fly out of the coffee, dip it in a flour/egg/cracker batter and fry it up good, then add lots of sugar to the coffee and maybe even a little bit of milk. You probably wouldn’t drink the coffee with your fried fly since you’d be drinking a beer with it, but afterwards you might have a sup of it. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/8 "2005-09-27T17:05:16Z")
If you’re Russian, you pick the fly out and throw it in the borscht. Then you dump the coffee out and fill the cup with vodka. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/9 "2005-09-27T18:39:45Z")
If you’re German, the fly would know better than to approach your coffee cup in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/10 "2005-09-27T19:03:06Z")
If you’re a FLY, you make love to the other fly, then you both relax in the coffee-flavored hot tub. If you’re a McDonald’s worker, you warn the fly that the coffee is hot. If you’re a Starbucks barista, you add a lot of syrup, milk, and foam. Then you charge extra for the fly (after you look up a French name for it.) If you’re a press secretary, you deny that there was ever a fly problem, and announce that your boss has appointed a commission to do a 6-year study of the coffee industry. If you are a Taoist, you say, “It must be my day to have a fly. This will be interesting.” If you are a Jehovah’s Witness, you say, “Praise the Lord, I’m being persecuted. This will make me more holy.” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/11 "2005-09-27T20:19:22Z")
If you are watching an old Goldie Hawn film, you must choose between two punchlines. You know that: (a) Flies are butter-free, or (b) There is no charge for buttered flies. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/12 "2005-09-27T21:47:57Z")
If you’re Dutch you help the fly building levees, so his feet’ll stay dry. or You tell the fly: “Dude, This is _not_ what I ordered in the coffeeshop”. or You ask the fly if he’s Spanish and if so, you know a neighborhood where there’s a good use for him. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/13 "2005-09-27T21:50:33Z")
> [@gum](#): > > If you’re Dutch …you ask the fly “are you a fly because you fly, or do you fly because you’re a fly?” and talk to it for 20 minutes before discovering a fascinating mark on your hand. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/14 "2005-09-27T21:52:29Z")
If you’re CANADIAN – You dig out the fly. Drink the coffee. Tell your friends visiting from Detroit that Canadian flies are much cleaner than American flies, so you don’t worry about disease. ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/15 "2005-09-27T21:52:37Z")
If you’re Korean, you’d look at the cup in disgust and say, “I didn’t come to North America for this!! Are YOUR children in Harvard med, you filthy bastard?!?” ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/16 "2005-09-27T21:54:07Z")
I gotta disagree with the Japanese entry. A Japanese would look at the British guy and imitate him. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/17 "2005-09-27T21:57:09Z")
Hahahahaha **Marley23**. So true. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/18 "2005-09-27T22:06:15Z")
If you’re Californian - you shut down the coffeehouse until it can be determined whether or not the fly is an endangered species. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/19 "2005-09-27T22:09:19Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > If you’re BRITISH – You pour out the coffee. Go without. :dubious: If you’re British you assume flies in coffee are some new vulgar American trend. You are not surprised. You then demand tea (politely of course). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/20 "2005-09-27T22:50:37Z")
You guys are great! Any more? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689.md?page=2)