# Finish this joke with more nationalities **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689 "2005-09-27T16:10:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/41 "2005-09-29T07:10:38Z")
If you’re **Argent Towers,** you take the fly, remove it from the coffee, and set it down on the table. You then take out your dick, put the fly in it (like a peashooter) and shoot the fly into the waitress’s eye with a stream of piss. After that, you continue pissing all over the coffeehouse, and when you can’t piss anymore, you turn to your wife (who’s sitting next to you) and rip off her clothes, and begin ravaging her. Your kids then join in the act, the twin brothers taking turns fellating each other while the daughter shoots ping-pong balls out of her snatch. Oh, you were wondering what we call ourselves? _The Aristocrats!_ ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/42 "2005-09-29T08:44:41Z")
If you’re Mormon, you feed the fly to the sea gulls and never drink the coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Antonius\_Block](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Antonius\_Block](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antonius_Block)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/43 "2005-09-29T08:56:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Bush-haters, Clinton-haters… [ul] [li]If you’re George H.W. Bush, you flick the fly back onto the nearby plate that it came from, and declare the northern and southern thirds of this plate a “No-Fly Zone”.[/li][li]If you’re Bill Clinton, you give thanks that tomorrow’s headlines about “Clinton’s Fly” are not, for once, going to about how you don’t know when to keep it zipped up.[/li][li]If you’re George W. Bush, you make a stirring anti-fly speech and invade Antarctica.[/li][/ul] > [@Anaamika](#): > > Bonus points if you can identify my friend’s nationality. Bangladeshi? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/44 "2005-09-29T10:13:29Z")
If you’re Hillary Clinton, you surmise that Bill’s having trouble controlling his fly again. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/45 "2005-09-29T10:41:29Z")
If you’re English, and in a French cafe, and the fly is in the Frenchman’s coffee at the next table, you lean towards him, and with the worst French accent imaginable, mutter “_Pardon, monsieur, mais il y a un mouche en votre cafe_”. The Frenchman looks down, sees the fly, removes it, and says “_Merci, m’sieur. Mais ce n’est pas un mouche, c’est une mouche_”. At which point, your knowledge of French being exhausted, you must exclaim “Bloody hell, you’ve got good eyesight!” in English. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/46 "2005-09-29T11:19:00Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > If you are a New Zealander, you quickly proclaim drinking fly coffee as an extreme sport and begin marketing it to tourists. YES! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/47 "2005-09-29T12:47:43Z")
He’s not Pakistani or Bangladesi. Jeez, do you people think I only hang out with people who look like me? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/48 "2005-09-29T13:04:29Z")
Gotta’ be some sort of American then. ---
**Author:** ![Antonius\_Block](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Antonius\_Block](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antonius_Block)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/49 "2005-09-29T21:58:54Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > He’s not Pakistani or Bangladesi. Jeez, do you people think I only hang out with people who look like me? 😉 No, but if the _sole fact_ that we know about your friend is that he’s familiar enough with E. Indian behaviors to co-author a joke about them, you’re not giving us much to go on. So, is he… Lithuanian? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/50 "2005-09-29T22:02:55Z")
> [@Antonius Block](#): > > No, but if the _sole fact_ that we know about your friend is that he’s familiar enough with E. Indian behaviors to co-author a joke about them, you’re not giving us much to go on. > > So, is he… Lithuanian? You’re right of course. Ok, here’s the first hint. He’s a Doper. Too vague, right? Here’s another hint, but I’ll spoiler-box it, because it’ll give it away too easily. He is one of the nationalities listed in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Mdr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mdr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdr)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/51 "2005-09-29T22:04:06Z")
if you’re Indian, you put the fly in there and cause a scene while your wife/mother shakes her head and says " i could’ve made much better food at home". Your dad, the whole time since entering the restaraunt, is looking for an excuse to not tip since tipping is bullshit, and promptly discounts any all meager tips he was planning to give. You have the waitress take back the tea/coffee but you save the fly for the next time you come in. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/52 "2005-09-29T22:05:06Z")
[hijack] \*Are \* you Indian, dude? Is that why the name? Just curious…I’m E. Indian myself. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Mdr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mdr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdr)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/53 "2005-09-29T22:12:34Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > [hijack] \*Are \* you Indian, dude? Is that why the name? Just curious…I’m E. Indian myself. [/hijack] ha ji mehmsaab, mai ek ABCD hoon, Chicago meh rehta hoo. Mai aur mehri biwi dono punjabi hai. that’s all assuming you speak hindi. If not, then you should. j/k i was Madarchod earlier but they rebuked my name for being offensive. That sucks. I guess Bhanchodh is out too. i figured Anaamika was Indian…where you from? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/54 "2005-09-29T22:16:41Z")
> [@Mdr](#): > > ha ji mehmsaab, mai ek ABCD hoon, Chicago meh rehta hoo. Mai aur mehri biwi dono punjabi hai. > > that’s all assuming you speak hindi. If not, then you should. j/k > > i was Madarchod earlier but they rebuked my name for being offensive. That sucks. I guess Bhanchodh is out too. > > i figured Anaamika was Indian…where you from? Are yaar - main bhi punjabi hoon, lekin ABCD nahin hoon. Main India mein pada hui thi, aur yahan pali hoon. NY mein rehethi hoon. Not married, but I have a Chinese boyfriend. I saw the thread where you had to change the name… My e-mail’s in my profile, feel free to drop me a line anytime. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/55 "2005-09-30T01:04:01Z")
If you’re jewish you try to remember if flies are kosher because God forbid you should waste a good cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Forlorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bb73d2/32.png) [@Forlorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forlorn)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/56 "2005-09-30T01:33:32Z")
If you’re Cajun you take out the fly, and cook some rice. ---
**Author:** ![Mdr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mdr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdr)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/57 "2005-09-30T14:36:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Not married, but I have a Chinese boyfriend. > > I saw the thread where you had to change the name… chinese beau eh? so that whole border dispute doesn’t get in the way of your relationship? How about the 1962 India-China war? (we totally got our asses kicked!) yes it does seem that once again the white man is out to oppress the indians much like the brits did, but I carry on like Lagaan and will not take this indignity lying down. ok, back to the joke: if you’re north indian you eat the fly bcuz it still tastes better than Idli Sambaar any day of the week. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689/58 "2005-09-30T14:42:44Z")
> [@Mdr](#): > > chinese beau eh? so that whole border dispute doesn’t get in the way of your relationship? How about the 1962 India-China war? (we totally got our asses kicked!) > > yes it does seem that once again the white man is out to oppress the indians much like the brits did, but I carry on like Lagaan and will not take this indignity lying down. Eh? Well…I may have been \*born \* in India…but I’m American. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finish-this-joke-with-more-nationalities/323689.md?page=2)