# Fireworks stupidity
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 4, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494 "2010-07-04T06:20:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/1 "2010-07-04T06:20:19Z")
A topical set of [videos](http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/20-worst-fireworks-fails/) for July 4th. People doing stupid things with fireworks. (Somewhat NSFW because some of these things involve contact between fireworks and male anatomy. Nothing involving female anatomy because no woman would be dumb enough to try to launch a bottle rocket out of her vagina.)
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### Author:  [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/2 "2010-07-04T06:51:14Z")
I had tears streaming down my face from watching number 5 over and over. Each time you watch it, it becomes more hilarious. The way the rocket slams itself right into his crotch and him jumping off in horror only to have the whole thing blow up.
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### Author:  [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/3 "2010-07-04T16:00:49Z")
I have a powder burn on my face next to my right eye because an idiot neighbor thought it would be a good idea for his 3 year old son to light a bottle rocket. The kid knocked over the bottle rocket, it shot underneath a car, hit a culvert then went off just as it hit me in the face.
I liked #9, I don’t think the guy realized he lost some of what little hair he had.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/4 "2010-07-04T16:03:45Z")
[A guy in New York blew his arm off yesterday](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38081877/ns/us_news/).
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### Author:  [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/5 "2010-07-04T16:27:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> Nothing involving female anatomy because no woman would be dumb enough to try to launch a bottle rocket out of her vagina.
Are you being ironic here, or has everyone forgotten the Opie & Anthony contest where “the mother tried to win Britney spears tickets by shooting bottle rockets out of a coke bottle in her vagina?” Actually, googling the web it seems only a handful remember the episode, and any youtube links seem long gone (this was before YouTube anyway, not quite certain when though).
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/6 "2010-07-04T16:45:57Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> [A guy in New York blew his arm off yesterday](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38081877/ns/us_news/).
At least he didn’t put an eye out.
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### Author:  [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/7 "2010-07-04T16:47:29Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> A topical set of [videos](http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/20-worst-fireworks-fails/) for July 4th. People doing stupid things with fireworks. (Somewhat NSFW because some of these things involve contact between fireworks and male anatomy. Nothing involving female anatomy because no woman would be dumb enough to try to launch a bottle rocket out of her vagina.)
> **[Questionable Content](https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1690)**
SFW - sorta
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/8 "2010-07-04T16:50:45Z")
Not a “stupid injury” story, but a “stupid guy sells illegal fireworks on Craigslist” story:
[A Cautionary Tale of Illegal Fireworks](http://www.scpr.org/news/2010/06/30/lancaster-couple-provides-cautionary-tale-about-bu/)
_“A $22,000 lesson…we obviously didn’t make any profit …”_ Yeah, not to mention spending a couple of months in jail. What a dumbass.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/9 "2010-07-04T17:15:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Are you being ironic here, or has everyone forgotten the Opie & Anthony contest where “the mother tried to win Britney spears tickets by shooting bottle rockets out of a coke bottle in her vagina?”
I stand corrected.
And appalled.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/10 "2010-07-04T17:40:19Z")
I’ll never cease to be amazed at the stupid things people do with fireworks. In the age of youtube, you’d think every teenager would realize that if you put a bottle rocket in your butt there’s a pretty good chance it’s not going to take off.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/11 "2010-07-04T17:48:52Z")
I was just thinking, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the big fire in Cudahy. A kid got a hold of a military flare, his friend set it off and it landed on a factory, starting a fire which took almost a week to put out, fire trucks from 27 other cities were called in, a big chunk of the city had to be evacuated because of fears of the ammonia refrigerant escaping, there was a water restriction for the whole city, $50 million in damage and 1800 people out of work for a few weeks (many still haven’t been called back a year later). They each got 90 days in jail to be served in one month increments over the course of three years.
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### Author:  [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/12 "2010-07-04T18:04:34Z")
> [@SirRay](#):
>
> Are you being ironic here, or has everyone forgotten the Opie & Anthony contest where “the mother tried to win Britney spears tickets by shooting bottle rockets out of a coke bottle in her vagina?” Actually, googling the web it seems only a handful remember the episode, and any youtube links seem long gone (this was before YouTube anyway, not quite certain when though).
That’s 'cause females are smarter. Rather than using the intermediary of fireworks to set their ass on fire, they just set their ass on fire directly.
Not safe for work, and not safe for the ass either: [http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80579953/](http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80579953/)
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### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/13 "2010-07-04T19:10:50Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> [A guy in New York blew his arm off yesterday](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38081877/ns/us_news/).
The notice of that on the web site for our local paper made for an excellent sequential titles bit.
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### Author:  [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/14 "2010-07-05T06:15:30Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> [A guy in New York blew his arm off yesterday](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38081877/ns/us_news/).
It’s too bad he didn’t film it for Youtube.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/15 "2010-07-05T07:12:18Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> A topical set of [videos](http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/20-worst-fireworks-fails/) for July 4th. People doing stupid things with fireworks. (Somewhat NSFW because some of these things involve contact between fireworks and male anatomy. Nothing involving female anatomy because no woman would be dumb enough to try to launch a bottle rocket out of her vagina.)
Kee-rist, a lot of these things fly right past stupid at high speed.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/16 "2010-07-05T08:04:09Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> I was just thinking, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the big fire in Cudahy. A kid got a hold of a military flare, his friend set it off and it landed on a factory, starting a fire which took almost a week to put out, fire trucks from 27 other cities were called in, a big chunk of the city had to be evacuated because of fears of the ammonia refrigerant escaping, there was a water restriction for the whole city, $50 million in damage and 1800 people out of work for a few weeks (many still haven’t been called back a year later). They each got 90 days in jail to be served in one month increments over the course of three years.
:eek::dubious::smack: Well, that’s the legal punishment, but I wonder what their parents handed down?
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/17 "2010-07-05T15:13:30Z")
My uncle burned off most of the skin on his hand when he tried setting off a bottle rocket while drunk. They had to graft skin from his thigh and as long as I’ve known him he’s had a wrinkly red fire-scarred hand.
Don’t do it, kids. Just don’t.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/18 "2010-07-05T15:45:59Z")
I have a low tolerance for watching people get hurt, but I did watch a couple of the videos. That guy standing between the two cars, what was he hoping would happen? What’s the best-cse scenario when you aim a rocket at your crotch?
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### Author:  [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/19 "2010-07-05T16:12:50Z")
I showed up for my new job to be told the boss was in hospital. He was wearing boots but some sort of lightweight flammable pants the night before for a bonfire party. Several people told him to put on some heavier pants. He lit a couple of rockets that wizzed through the restaurant, many people left at that point, missing the part where he went back to check a firework he’d thought had gone out … resulting in severe burns to both his legs, torso and face. Fool was in his forties.
Sinking feeling - I’d given up my job to come and work for a complete idiot.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-stupidity/545494/20 "2010-07-05T17:27:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Nothing involving female anatomy because no woman would be dumb enough to try to launch a bottle rocket out of her vagina.
You’ve never heard the limerick about Nymphomaniacal Alice? Spoilered because, like most limericks, it’s dirty:
Nymphomaniacal Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And her asshole was somewhere near Dallas
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