# Fireworks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113 "2005-07-05T04:56:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/21 "2005-07-05T06:29:50Z")
Beer is bad for you. There are warnings on the label. Sheesh, didn’t you _read_ them? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/22 "2005-07-05T06:41:42Z")
I don’t care about fireworks anymore, but as long as they don’t set anything on fire and they cease by the time they are supposed to, I don’t really care either. And I’d vote againest any attempt to ban them(Hell, I’d go out and buy them if they attempted to ban them). If they keep it up outside legal hours, call the cops. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/23 "2005-07-05T06:58:47Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Geezus. Suck it up, ya freaking killjoys. I bet you hate Christmas lights too. Get a beer, go sit outside, and enjoy the show. Christmas lights and even booze-soaked holiday puddings don’t explode over days. Even _beer_ has its immediate and delayed explosive qualities but they don’t last for fucking _ever_…or at least not without self-limiting (and very locally contained) consequences to the imbiber. It’s 2:00 a.m. here, and I have to be back up, bright-eyed and ready to tackle a new work week, in four and half freakin’ hours. But every time I start to nod off, a patriotic barrage against hallucinated chimera–Iraquis, British, Klingons, whatever-- sputters into action again. The Fourth holiday is OVER. Passed. History. The globe has turned. Calendar pages have flipped. If a sparkly-boomer thing hasn’t exploded, it’s a cosmic sign to _leave it the fuck alone already_. I hate people. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/24 "2005-07-05T07:00:02Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > Beer is bad for you. There are warnings on the label. Sheesh, didn’t you _read_ them? 😃 Wait. Isn’t beer the one that will blow my fingers off? I think I read that label somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/25 "2005-07-05T07:02:34Z")
Other than setting the property of innocents on fire and injuries thereto, I view fireworks as an excellent tool for culling the herd. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/26 "2005-07-05T07:04:39Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > Christmas lights and even booze-soaked holiday puddings don’t explode over days. Even _beer_ has its immediate and delayed explosive qualities but they don’t last for fucking _ever_…or at least not without self-limiting (and very locally contained) consequences to the imbiber. > > It’s 2:00 a.m. here, and I have to be back up, bright-eyed and ready to tackle a new work week, in four and half freakin’ hours. But every time I start to nod off, a patriotic barrage against hallucinated chimera–Iraquis, British, Klingons, whatever-- sputters into action again. > > The Fourth holiday is OVER. Passed. History. The globe has turned. Calendar pages have flipped. If a sparkly-boomer thing hasn’t exploded, it’s a cosmic sign to _leave it the fuck alone already_. > > I hate people. Guess you’ll be sleeping extra well tomorrow then, huh? Sympathy check - nope, still not pinging the meter. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/27 "2005-07-05T07:06:05Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > My home state of New South Wales is often cited as the world’s second most litigious jurisdiction after California. Sydney’s famous surf beaches are under a seemingly endless threat of closure to the public as municipalities reckon up the cost of their public liability insurance. Anyway, Australians are amongst the world’s most urbanised populations. We are much more citified than the USA, for example. We’re not good at the small town thing. The iconic Aussie bushman on his horse does exist, but as an exception. The rest of us are too busy trying to work out how to operate the cable TV remote. Sad but true. Well! That’s the last time I depend on B grade movies to further my cultural studies. I’ll bet all French men aren’t trying to get a green card by pretending to be married to a snotty American and there never was a fat German boy stuck in the pipes at the candy factory. What else are the movie studios lying to us about? Next I’ll find out there aren’t any werewolves in London! [sup]Platypus aren’t real _are_ they?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/28 "2005-07-05T07:13:38Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Guess you’ll be sleeping extra well tomorrow then, huh? Sympathy check - nope, still not pinging the meter. What’s this ‘sleeping well _tomorrow_’ thing. This IS tomorrow. My brain will shut down and eyes droop from pure exhaustion by 10 a.m. I LIKE fireworks, especially the bright-as-daylight, phosphorescent ones that go off with a boom that makes the innards tremble and leave an after-image on the eye. But not sporadically, for _three freakin’ days in a row_. Gad, I need sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/29 "2005-07-05T07:25:11Z")
I just don’t get it, I guess. Do you guys live in a tent? Are they setting off shaped charges outside your bedroom? Does a gnat’s burp tear you from a sound sleep? I just can’t imagine firecrackers keeping me awake. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/30 "2005-07-05T07:28:49Z")
It is one day a year you God-damne commie. Suck it up. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/31 "2005-07-05T07:33:46Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I just don’t get it, I guess. Do you guys live in a tent? Are they setting off shaped charges outside your bedroom? Does a gnat’s burp tear you from a sound sleep? I just can’t imagine firecrackers keeping me awake. Actually, more to the point, if it’s gotten to the point that you think the whole thing is way past reasonable levels and times for celebration, why the heck aren’t you on the phone with the cops? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/32 "2005-07-05T07:43:21Z")
Well see, this is what happens when we abolish the draft, folks forget how to sleep when the rockets get all red and glary and stuff. If you are under 40 years old and can’t opperate for 48 hours, you need to go back to boot camp ya wimps… Wait until it is your sick kid or a parent that is dying slow and hard… You gonna gripe about that too? Loud Harley’s, fireworks, TV adds and it seems like all the gripping comes from the generation that blew it’s eardrums off with boom boxes and sub woofers… ::: sheesh ::::: bunch of whinny babies… \*:: if you don’t see the sarcasm and tongue in cheek, (sorta) that is your problem … suck it up … :: \* 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sunfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/33 "2005-07-05T08:26:04Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > I am about ready to shove a roman candle up someone’s ass. This guy beat you to it, but managed not to win a Darwin Award in the process. [link](http://www.corporateradiosucksass.com/tbonetricks/rimrocket/index.html#) (not safe for work) Around here, it was surprisingly quiet. I guess the usual miscreants didn’t make it to South of the Border this year. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/34 "2005-07-05T08:37:35Z")
I strongly disagree with the OP, on the basis of an excellent argument : Fireworks are good. Magnificent. Beautiful. Sublime. Awesome. Enthralling. It’s an eternal truth. It has been so since the dawn of times (that is : since my very first memory which is a 3 yo me watching a firework). “And God said, Let there be fireworks: and there were fireworks. And God saw the fireworks, that they were good: and God divided the fireworks from the darkness. And the evenings and the mornings were the 4th of July and the 14th of July” ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/35 "2005-07-05T08:43:18Z")
Good fireworks are awe inspiring and all the other adjectives you used. Cheap shitty fireworks are just loud and bright. Guess which one the drunks down the road were using. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/36 "2005-07-05T12:53:29Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > “And God said, Let there be fireworks: and there were fireworks. And God saw the fireworks, that they were good: and God divided the fireworks from the darkness. And the evenings and the mornings were the 4th of July and the 14th of July” That must be from the Book of Armaments, 1:4-5. Professional fireworks displays are chock full of _oohs_ and _aahs_. Amateur displays tend to be too random to appreciate, and fully deserving of this thread’s ranting. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/37 "2005-07-05T13:08:58Z")
If our forefathers had had any sense they would have declared independance from England before the school year was over with. I’d put forth a guess that most late night revelers aren’t those with a job to go to today but, more likely, are our youth on summer vacation. Buncha procrastinatin’ forefathers. I blame Franklin. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/38 "2005-07-05T13:13:26Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > Until today, we haven’t had a decent rain for months, so everything is basically tinder. No matter, these twerps rocketed off more pyrotechnics than any five combined historic battles, land or sea. Same here. And there was a place up the road selling artillery-shell style fireworks to the public, so they’re playing with more then roman candles. Almost non-stop. For the last two nights. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/39 "2005-07-05T13:23:57Z")
Two words: Ear Plugs. Since my neighbor decided that he needed 4 pit bulls, I wasn’t able to sleep at all. Those dogs bark most of the night. Every night. I got tired of calling the cops and just got some ear plugs. I honestly sleep better than I did before the dogs. Last night the rebellion was in full force when I went to bed, I even saw a few pretty good flashes before I dozed off for an entire night of beautiful, relaxing slumber. I feel fuckin’ GREAT this morning! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113/40 "2005-07-05T13:46:48Z")
My neighbor’s kids (college guys) started their nonsense on July 3. Every twenty minutes I heard “incoming!” (joke got old- oh, the second time I heard it) and then barrage of Roman candles etc. Thing is-two things. 1. I had to get up and go to work the next day (up at 0500) and 2. we had had no rain at that point for over 2 weeks and they were setting these off UNDER trees (they’re not the brightest boys). Third thing-they are the Fire Chief’s children. So, I called the cops. Yep-I narced 'em out. If my house now burns to the ground and the fire dept does not respond, I’ll know why… Seriously, I don’t mind the revelry (sp?) on the Fourth–just SHUT UP ALREADY! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks/311113.md?page=3)