# "First Amendment Auditors" in Trader Joe's Parking Lots **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2026, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843 "2026-03-28T16:50:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/101 "2026-03-30T18:20:02Z")
> [@Briny\_Deep](#): > > Oh, and regarding confrontation with any rando in public, the Briny Rule says that 10% of anyone you meet in public is batshit crazy, 10% are enraged, and 10% are armed. 1/10 x 1/10 x 1/10 is a 1 in 1,000 chance of disaster. I keep my head down in public, mostly. Good thinking. I’ll point out that crazies are more likely to be enraged and enraged folks are more likely to be armed. IOW, the three dimensions of this decision space are correlated, not independent. Which means your 1 in 1000 conclusion is a very loose lower bound for the actual probability of a problem. 1 in 100 might be closer to the truth in certain parts of certain cities and states. ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/102 "2026-03-30T18:32:17Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Seems to me what’s needed is to pass laws saying deliberately recording individual private citizens in public without their consent constitutes assault. I can’t say I like this approach, but I don’t have a better idea [yet?]. Someone mentioned ‘don’t feed the trolls - finish your shopping and go home’. But I don’t WANT to go home - I’m enjoying a sunny walkabout in my fair city, which is actually small enough that I will encounter acquaintances on the street that I may not know by name, or seek out, but am always happy to tip my hat to and share a few brief observations about the weather. Not only is this enjoyable, but my therapist counsels me to seek out ‘micro-affirmations’ like this, to offset the modern epidemic of isolation, not to mention ‘micro-aggressions’. Anywho - some of us here are probably fabulously good-looking and well-dressed, and don’t mind being SEEN, which is somehow different from being WATCHED, and certainly different from being videotaped. As it happens, I am not good-looking or particularly well-dressed - indeed I bear a striking resemblance to a jolly bearded gentleman much associated with winter holidays. I have learned not to wear my favorite red coat, but still get hoots and hollers with demands for response. I find this at least somewhat comparable to ‘hey lady you should smile more’. Should she, or I, have to dress down, or shave, or otherwise hide our light under a bushel to move freely in public? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/103 "2026-03-30T18:41:34Z")
Exactly. Aside from cross-correlation, a specific angry nutjob filming you at TJ’s needs the odds adjusted for 2 out of my 3 categories from 10% to 100%; if he’s got a gun, you could be dead. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/104 "2026-03-30T18:46:12Z")
Why should anyone have to put up with people actively vandalizing the commons in search of private profit? They are creating an active nuisance and should be arrested for vandalism and prosecuted vigorously. Same for folks with gratuitously loud pipes on their vehicles of whatever description. Vandals are worse than thieves. It’s a sicker mindset that makes them tick, and it does more total harm to the fabric of our civil society. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/105 "2026-03-30T19:00:41Z")
I would think blasting loud music or train horns would violate noise ordinances. Yeah, you’d be arrested or trespassed, forthwith. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/106 "2026-03-30T19:09:20Z")
I say @vbob , if your cat is on your shoulder while you enjoy your fair city I can see why you’re getting filmed 😀 . I don’t understand why a person cannot just walk on by. If you’re not up to something why do you care? They only post video if they are being challenged. Don’t give them any ammunition and no harm done. Walk on by. Go about your business. Pay no mind. Human beings see you everyday. You’re not invisible. You next choice is being a hermit in a cave. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/107 "2026-03-30T20:04:32Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Seems to me what’s needed is to pass laws saying deliberately recording individual private citizens in public without their consent constitutes assault. That way you can claim self-defense as you apply the clue-by-four to these folks. So…you want to make it legal to gun down anyone who you think is pointing a phone in your general direction? That doesn’t really seem like a very proportional response. Or we could just, like, say people have the right to do legal things in public, even if other people may be made uncomfortable by it. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/108 "2026-03-30T20:09:44Z")
> [@vbob](#): > > I’m enjoying a sunny walkabout in my fair city, which is actually small enough that I will encounter acquaintances on the street that I may not know by name, or seek out, but am always happy to tip my hat to and share a few brief observations about the weather. Not only is this enjoyable, but my therapist counsels me to seek out ‘micro-affirmations’ like this, to offset the modern epidemic of isolation, not to mention ‘micro-aggressions’ Well, that sounds like a much more mentally healthy way to go through life, as opposed to believing that everyone you see on the street has a 0.1% chance of trying to murder you so you need to keep your head down and scurry home as soon as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/109 "2026-03-30T20:22:13Z")
BTW, why do these people do this at Trader Joe’s and not, say, Walmart? Do they just expect to find liberal snowflakes at Trader Joe’s? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/110 "2026-03-30T20:36:55Z")
What if when approached by said ‘auditors’ that shove a camera/mic in your face, you happened to be carrying, say, an airhorn which you then direct at their microphone and keep saying (well, maybe they can lipread) _“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, what was that?”_ every time they try to say something? If the one airhorn isn’t enough to deter them, then break out the backup airhorns. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/111 "2026-03-30T20:48:49Z")
That would be way more annoying to me, as a passerby. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/112 "2026-03-30T20:54:51Z")
Seriously. Do they expect people to say “That guy standing there holding his phone quietly is being a real asshole…but that guy standing next to him blasting airhorns and playing amplified train whistles is being perfectly reasonable!” ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/113 "2026-03-30T21:06:49Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > BTW, why do these people do this at Trader Joe’s and not, say, Walmart? I guess they do it anywhere there are people. It happened at TJ’s in my hometown, and then I saw on Nextdoor that the next day they had moved several miles away and had taken up at a crowded Costco parking lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if they show up at Walmart as well. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/114 "2026-03-30T21:33:34Z")
Walmart has been known to sue persons for “non-shopping” activities or their lot. It’s part of their corporate policy. In Arkansas, certain groups are prohibited. I read that on Google. What gives them the right to choose _which groups?_ I guess a judge did 🫣 Seems a bit draconian. But who am I to say? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/115 "2026-03-30T21:39:37Z")
A while back a prankster got shot at a mall in Virginia and the jury found him not guilty. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/gUccLZPRGjk/maxresdefault.jpg "Video of prank YouTuber Tanner Cook shot in the mall released") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUccLZPRGjk) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/116 "2026-03-30T21:46:20Z")
Trolls deserve counterattack. Their existence is an attack on civilization that should not be ignored. And especially not out of lazy expediency. If you don’t like 1 troll hanging around, how much less will you like 50? Trolls breed like flies when the environment is favorable. ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/117 "2026-03-30T22:21:05Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > What if when approached by said ‘auditors’ that shove a camera/mic in your face, you happened to be carrying, say, an airhorn OK, my latest inspiration is to find or create some colorful little tracts extolling the wonders of Pastafarianism, and prepare a good earnest NONSTOP speech praising the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I suspect the auditors would run away, and if not and they gave the FSM some air time, where’s the harm in that? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/118 "2026-03-30T22:24:03Z")
> [@Thing.Fish](#): > > > [@vbob](#): > > > > I’m enjoying a sunny walkabout in my fair city, which is actually small enough that I will encounter acquaintances on the street that I may not know by name, or seek out, but am always happy to tip my hat to and share a few brief observations about the weather. Not only is this enjoyable, but my therapist counsels me to seek out ‘micro-affirmations’ like this, to offset the modern epidemic of isolation, not to mention ‘micro-aggressions’ > > Well, that sounds like a much more mentally healthy way to go through life, as opposed to believing that everyone you see on the street has a 0.1% chance of trying to murder you so you need to keep your head down and scurry home as soon as possible. Hi! I affirm this, actually. My rule is about poking people unnecessarily, potentially making them angry or angrier. To continue in scenes from the grocery: if someone lets their cart go and it rolls into my car, do I confront them? No, actually I do not, because of the above. Not worth the ding in my paintjob to engage somebody like that, nosirree. Nor do I say anything if somebody butts in front of me at the checkstand. But I smile and say hello to strangers all the time. People who film strangers for potential clicks are assholes, by definition. Talking to them at all is a bad bet. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/119 "2026-03-30T23:24:44Z")
Here is more detial > **[Jury finds delivery driver not guilty in Virginia shooting of YouTube prankster](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/sep/30/delivery-driver-youtube-prankster-shooting-not-guilty)** > > Alan Colie acquitted of aggravated malicious wounding in shooting of Tanner Cook of ‘Classified Goons’ YouTube channel ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2026, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843/120 "2026-04-15T13:01:32Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Can someone explain what these people are doing? What are they filming or hoping to film? Is there a certain ideology behind this? They’re hoping to fill the void created by the recent incarceration of Johnny Somali. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-amendment-auditors-in-trader-joes-parking-lots/1028843.md?page=5)