# First baby advice **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929 "2003-10-06T20:59:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hellboy37](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hellboy37](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellboy37)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/1 "2003-10-06T20:59:12Z")
Hey all…we are just about to have our first child and I want to get my wife something special. This may sound stupid but is there some sort of protocol for gifts??? Like there is for anniversaries. Also, what sort of gifts have you Dopers received?? Other than a wonderful, healthy baby that is. I have many ideas but all advice is accepted and highly encouraged! ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/2 "2003-10-06T21:11:59Z")
I wanted to go have a pedicure during my last trimester, because I I couldn’t reach my feet. I couldn’t see them most of the time either, but when I did…man, I was glad it was winter and I wore shoes everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/3 "2003-10-06T21:38:45Z")
There’s no protocol, but get something silly or romantic. A pedicure is good, or a gift certificate for a spa or a makeover. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/4 "2003-10-06T21:42:28Z")
Just be there holding her hand for the main event and don’t faint. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/5 "2003-10-06T21:43:44Z")
I’ve also got to say that the best gift is helping out with the baby. When our daughter was first born, my husband got up with me in the middle of the night each time I fed her (She is breastfed, so he couldn’t really help with that.) and change her diaper and sit up with me until she went back to sleep, and I thought it was really awesome of him. ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/6 "2003-10-06T22:18:01Z")
When I was born, my dad got my mom a ring. When my brother was born, well, they already had a 2-1/2 year-old me running around, and money was a little tight, so he didn’t get her anything. When my brother was about 5, he saw the ring my mom had gotten when I was born and commented on it. Mom said that it was the ring Daddy got for her when Sister was born. Then my brother asked, “What did Daddy get you when I was born?” and my mom didn’t have an answer. So Dad took him out shopping, and he got to pick the ring. And these rings will get passed down to us.\* I like this tradition, and Mr. Gazer knows that I’d really, _really_ like it to continue when we have kids. 😃 \*The only problem with this is that I don’t _like_ the ring my mom got when I was born; I like the ring my brother chose. But Mom won’t switch. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/7 "2003-10-06T22:36:34Z")
If you must give her an actual gift, jewelry. That way she can keep it forever. That said, forget buying her something. After you bring the baby home, watch your wife. If she, at any time, begins bumping into the walls, crying, falling asleep while peeing, etc., send her to bed. Do this every time she does one of the above mentioned things. Sleep to a new mother is better than diamonds. Keep the house clean, too, especially the kitchen and whatever room the three of you will spend the most time in. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/8 "2003-10-06T23:46:20Z")
Believe me, all a new mother needs is an appreciative pat on the ass and a friendly request for another ham sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/9 "2003-10-06T23:52:34Z")
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… A cleaning service. Someone to come in every two weeks and dust, vaccuum and mop. She’ll love you for it. ---
**Author:** ![Amethyst\_Autumn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Amethyst\_Autumn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amethyst_Autumn)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/10 "2003-10-06T23:53:49Z")
A good bottle of wine because most doctors don’t want you to drink when pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/11 "2003-10-07T01:47:17Z")
I think **Jonathan Chance** has the best idea. I have a 9 1/2 week old, so I’m pretty familiar with the subject. I would have killed for my husband to have had the house cleaned before I came home from the hospital. It was sort of straightened up, but it completely stressed me out to come home to laundry in the hamper and a house that needed to be vacuumed. If you want to give her something that will last forever, I second the jewelry idea. My brother gave his wife a necklace and had a charm added for each kid (they have 4). Whether or not you get her something material, make sure you pamper her for at least a week. Go to the grocery store, make actual meals that are healthy, do the housework, etc. Focus your entire attention on her and the baby. My husband is a great guy and absolutely wonderful in a gazillion ways, but he really didn’t get the extent to which I needed help that first week. He figured the week he took off after I gave birth was the only time he was going to have off for awhile, so he took time to go to the DMV and run a bunch of errands like that. He even asked me if it was okay for him to play golf one afternoon (although his better judgement reigned on that one). I had had an unplanned c-section, so I couldn’t even get around very well. I had a _very_ rough first week. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/12 "2003-10-07T04:55:15Z")
Some sleep and assistance around the house are excellent plans. I do like the charms for children idea C3 mentioned too but don’t substitute jewelery for parenting responsibility! Even with the easiest of deliveries, baby’s arrival is going to take a toll on mom. She needs lots of love, sleep, and encouragement. Also if she’s weepy or irritable do not tell her it is hormones and will pass. Even if it is true it will only make her more upset to have her feelings dismissed this way. ---
**Author:** ![Hellboy37](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hellboy37](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellboy37)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-baby-advice/205929/13 "2003-10-07T15:05:02Z")
Thanks all. I appreciate it!