First, I’m going to breathe.

I’m single. Again. Twice in as many years. I suppose it’s right that on the eve of my fast approaching divorce, I should be left to face the final resolution of a 15 year relationship the way I came into it. Alone.

This last go around only lasted a little over a year. It had to end because we didn’t want the same things in the same way. Still, I’ll never regret a single day of the recently demised affair. By contrast, there are endless regrets about any number of days of my marriage. Not that there aren’t happy memories as well. There are many of those. Just not enough of them, I suppose. Not for either one of us.

So I’m going to breathe.

Tonight, on my first official night of bachelor hood, I’m going to eat a plate of wings with a beer or two and watch “Be Cool”. It seems the appropriate way to kick things off.

In the morning I’m going to resume with my normal routine of going to the gym before work. I’m going to finally lose that last 10 pounds I’ve been excusing due to elaborate dinners for two followed by shared pints of Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream on the couch.

When I do, I’m going to buy myself that Hugo Boss brown suit and a pair of killer shoes.

I’m going to order that dozen or so books I’ve ear marked as favourites on Amazon. When they arrive, I’m going to read them.

I’m going to get my car professionally cleaned and detailed.

I’m going to call an old friend I’ve lost touch with. He’s going through a separation himself.

I may try to write again. Then I’ll attempt to resist the urge to burn in disgust what I’ve written.

In time, I may join one of those popular online dating services and open myself up for ridicule and the occasional date that may or may not end with me sleeping with a complete stranger.

I’m going to throw myself into my work. Pretend the best I can that what I do matters. To someone, in some way.

I’ll continue to be the “best dad in the entire world”, according to my children. I believe them. They’d never lie to me.

I’ll drink far too much coffee. Watch entirely too much TV.

Sort through all those papers I’ve piled strategically out of sight behind the comfy reading chair in the bedroom.

Haunt the local Borders book store and hope a brilliant, fabulously wealthy and beautiful young woman takes a fancy to me in my jeans, strategically tossled hair and two day old beard.

In the mean time, I’m going to breathe.

…and eat my wings ‘cuz they’re ready.


You sound like a really great guy. I sincerely hope you find a really great gal. But please be careful of the “rebound romance” syndrome. I’ve had two recently-divorced friends who formed hasty new alliances that didn’t work out. Take gentle care of yourself. The best dad in the entire world deserves it. :slight_smile:

You’re going to buy a brown suit?

Honey, you need a girlfriend. :wink:

Oohhh! A guy that owns his own nuts! What a curiosity. I myself am oh so weak…

You fake for a while. In time you’ll begin to believe it.

Earth tones are in and I’ve already got every shade of grey. :slight_smile:

That the one that’s most recently over. Though I never thought or treated it that way. I kind of thought I got lucky to have found somebody so quickly after the end of my marriage. I guess I counted my sheep before they were hatched. :smack:

If you’re hatching sheep, you’re definitely not ready for a girlfriend. A girl friend, maybe. Someone who is interested in talking and learning. About, maybe, the difference between sheep and things that hatch. Or just about things that hatch. Or…

…hope to put a small smile on your face, so I’m being silly. What you are going through sucks and there’s not a damn thing anything anyone but Father Time can do about it. I think you’re handling it very well. And as the child of divorced parents who hasn’t seen my father since I was eight years old, being the best father in the world is the best possible thing in the world to be. Bar none. So you’ve already got a lot going for you. No burning writings till we get to read them.

I recommend putting that off for as long as possible.

(The online dating, not the sleeping with strangers. :D)

In the meantime, hang in there. There are a handful of us Dopers in this area, maybe we can all do lunch some weekend or something. Solidarity, yadda yadda yadda. :wink:

Marry me?

That sounds like fun. I attended one once. For 20 minutes… :smiley:

You’re braver than most. :slight_smile:

Become your own best friend. That way you’ll always have a friend, wherever you are.


Good luck, and enjoy being single. I sure as hell did! :smiley:

Have you not heard that the new black is brown?

Done. Makes the conversation in my head pretty one sided though. Which is probably a good thing, in the long run. :slight_smile:

I plan to. For the next little while anyway.

Take up scuba diving! Anything!! but try to find a good group activity you can participate in to get you OUT and interested in fun healthy enjoyment WITH other people! You want to read books, wonderful, but look for a book club, better yet start one! i’m tell’n ya, you DON’T want to get sucked down into solatary activities, not right now anyway.

But I do. I do. Solitary stuff just seems so right these days. Peace, self reliance, self indulgence… I could really make the transition into a fully evolved self contained selfish bastard. :stuck_out_tongue:

You gotta watch out for those - they’re powerful mojo. We’re celebrating our third wedding anniversary on Wednesday, me and a complete stranger from the interweb. :wink:

(Definitely keep on writing - you got the stuff, baby.)