# First Name Only- Regretable Societal Trend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 29, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095 "2006-01-29T17:53:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/41 "2006-01-30T14:52:31Z")
> [@The Flying Dutchman](#): > > I let it go, but it just pisses me off that people don’t want to give their last names. Why do I need to know just your first name? Well, I’ve worked in a call center for awhile now, and I never give out my last name. I encourage my employees not to, either. It’s not hard to find out where a call center is located, so combined with a phone book, it’s usually easy to find you. We have had people who happened to live in the area (or not, in some cases) threaten to come down and thrash people. In my case, as far as I know (and I’ve looked), I am the only person with my name in the world. My last name is very rare and there are perhaps only a dozen or two dozen people with my last name in this country. My first name is also very uncommon and memorable. Some people just can’t give the distinction between the person and the company. The last thing I need is for some nutjob to show up at my house, or use my name for fraudulent purposes, or what have you. I have always given out my operator number or extension when asked for a last name, though. I agree that accountability is important. > [@](#): > > But this isn’t the first time I’ve come across anonymous corporate munchkins **many of them women who won’t allow me to make them accountable** for what they tell me. Emphasis mine. The OP has taken a lot of guff for this statement, but I guess the only reason I can defend it is because most call center employees ARE women in most industries. > [@](#): > > Why do they have to hide? Have they no pride? … It wasn’t like this several decades ago. People used to take pride in their name and what it represented, and just giving your first name on introduction was regarded as an indication of poor upbringing. A couple of decades ago, people weren’t able to find all about you on the Internet in half a second. Someone couldn’t log on to [XXXXsucks.com](http://XXXXsucks.com)’s forum and post your first and last name for every idiot in the world to see. (I have actually seen people do this to call center employees on MANY occasions), leaving them to be harassed by people who have a problem with that employee. People didn’t worry about things like identity theft. Are you convinced there is no danger to such things? If so, why not post your own real first and last name right here? ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/42 "2006-01-30T14:56:51Z")
As mentioned above, some surnames are extremely identifiable. For example, **Nocturne** and I are the only people with our surname in the US. That makes for fairly easy identification. Havng said that (and not being originally from the US myself) it occurs to me that their is a fairly large number of people I know (and kow fairly well), without having the slightest clue as to their surnames. Doesn’t bother me at all. I only ever introduce people by their first names anyway ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/43 "2006-01-30T15:43:35Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > How about, and this is just me spitballing here, something like “I’m Ms Lastname”? It’s still good manners to address someone as she wishes to be addressed, and the insistence upon addressing strangers by their first names would have up until quite recently been considered extremely forward and rude. You use the name the person gives you, and if that’s the last name you don’t assume that it’s all right to use her first name unless she expressly tells you so. > > At one of my call center jobs I got in trouble repeatedly for calling customers “sir” and “ma’am” instead of addressing them by their first names. I was told that calling them “sir” or “ma’am” was rude. I thought that was like, say, in Japanese introducing yourself as “Name-san”? You don’t give yourself an honorific. It feels funny to refer to myself in that weird third person way, and it would definately get me funny looks if I responded that way to an inquiry about my name. Also it’s very awkward since some of the people who ask your name are people trying to be friendly, some are people who are mad at you, and some are skeezy guys hitting on you. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/44 "2006-01-30T15:54:00Z")
> [@The Flying Dutchman](#): > > “Fine” I said, “What was your name again ?” > > “Vi” > > “Vi Who?” > > “just Vi” “What?!? I want to speak to your immediate superior!” “That would be Vii. I’ll connect you now, sir.” “Thank you. And who would Vii’s boss’s boss be?” “That would be Mr. X.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/45 "2006-01-30T17:07:25Z")
I suggest as soon as you hear “this call may be recorded to ensure customer service quality”, start up your own tape recorder, just as a backup. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/46 "2006-01-30T20:06:39Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > In my case, as far as I know (and I’ve looked), I am the only person with my name in the world. My last name is very rare and there are perhaps only a dozen or two dozen people with my last name in this country. My first name is also very uncommon and memorable. Rigoberta Von Banjo-Hufnagel? Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/47 "2006-01-30T20:58:36Z")
I am curious as to why you wanted to know her name at all? From the little you posted it didn’t sound like she did anything particularly egregious. Was it just as some sort of backup? ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/48 "2006-01-31T19:58:02Z")
> [@Hilarity N. Suze](#): > > On a related note, does anybody believe a person in a call center somewhere in India is actually named “Jennifer”? Yes, actually. Granted, many call centers have their employees pick “Americanized” names. However, if you are a Christian in Bangalore, for example, it is quite possible that your name is Jennifer. A couple of trainers from India came to visit a few weeks ago, and their real names were – I kid you not – Chris and John. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/49 "2006-02-01T22:56:15Z")
What I can’t stand is when I introduce myself and the other person assumes a nickname: Hi, I’m Vivian. Hi, Vi, nice to meet you. Did I say “Vi”? Did I mean “Vi”? Uh-uh. Yes, I go by Vi but I didn’t tell you that. ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/50 "2006-02-02T01:16:33Z")
Just chiming in as another person who’s worked at a call center and wouldn’t give out her last name. I would tell them that I was the only **burundi** who worked there. In my case, it was very clear where we were located. > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **fluiddruid** > _I guess the only reason I can defend it is because most call center employees ARE women in most industries_. This was certainly the case in my call center. About 75% of the employees were and, oddly enough, a slight majority of the male employees were gay. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095/51 "2006-02-02T02:42:51Z")
An ex-girlfriend worked in a local department store’s credit card center. They gave made up full names with initials that matched their IRL names, but this was their consistent phone ID. For example, if her name IRL was Susan Witherspoon, she would use the pseudonym “Samantha White.” I never asked what happened if a woman named Sharon Walton worked there. I would guess they would go to middle initials, “Stephanie J. Winston”, for example. The operation was large enough that the staff felt protected like this, but not so large that they had to use the same first names or anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-name-only-regretable-societal-trend/342095.md?page=2)