# First time dad at 44! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930 "2011-07-05T19:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jimson\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@Jimson\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimson_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/21 "2011-07-07T15:10:10Z")
Congrats. It’s actually less terrifying than you think. Frankly I don’t think there would have been much difference in my energy levels from when we would have first had a child till when we did. I was 40 when our daughter was born (the Mrs. was 38). I think you’ll find as we did that being older parents really helps with parenting. Better control of your temper, more experience in stressful situations, more time to grow into a full person. On top of that the ability to take and sort through what advice you’re given, what you’ve read and make a considered decision on how to handle any of the multitude of child rearing issues. I think all of this help for better parenting. Of course when you’re standing next to the other parents at the school show or a party and realize that the ‘kids’ standing around you are the parents of your child’s classmates… it does have a twinge of something… ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/22 "2011-07-07T15:13:46Z")
We just got the results from her two blood tests, HcG levels in the first test were 418, second one 1388. Sonagram early next week, I believe. The doc said we might even be able to hear the heart beat. Seems incredible to me… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/23 "2011-07-07T15:19:42Z")
Being a doper helps. There’s always someone bringing pertinent kid issues to the forefront and disseminating the answer… like this. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/24 "2011-07-07T16:33:00Z")
Congratulations to you both! My dad was 44 when he became a dad for the first time. He liked it so much, he did it six more times! (My mom was 20 years younger than he.) My sister-in-law had her first baby at 41, but stopped with just that one, who is plenty enough and who will turn ten this month, and they’re just fine! So relax and enjoy the ride. ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/25 "2011-07-07T16:33:01Z")
Congrats! I’m a member of the Old New Dads, too. Our first was born in February 2008 when I was 41 and our second was born two days after I turned 43. My wife was 38 and just shy of 40. Even after three years of sleep deprivation and the loss of much of my free time, disposable income, and freedom to do what I want it’s still easily the best thing I’ve ever done. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/26 "2011-07-07T16:45:06Z")
Congratulations to you both, that is awesome news, indeed! Don’t sweat the age stuff, truly, there are tons of ‘older’ parents now. Besides, a mere two generations ago, women often started reproducing as teenagers, and, lacking effective birth control, often continued having children into your age range. The world, largely ignores this and thinks ‘older’ parents are some sort of new age phenom, they’re not. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/27 "2011-07-07T18:01:06Z")
I’ve mentioned this on other threads, but I’m a female and gave birth to my first child one week before my 46th birthday. The father was just shy of 46. It’s not something I would’ve done on purpose, but I was diagnosed infertile in my mid 20’s and I was throughout my 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s. By the time I was 45 years old, some of my very fertile friends were trying for that one last child and were now unable to conceive. A woman is born with all her eggs and they age right along with you. I knew that if these women couldn’t conceive anymore, my chances were definitely nil. Long before that point, I had already come to terms that I’d remain childless, never in a million years thinking I’d suddenly have a baby at 46 years old. I had taken the stance that whatever will be will be and by my forties I figured my time had come and gone. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t jump for joy like you’d think. I was terrified, thinking, “What the hell is a woman my age having a child for?” I was scared there’d be developmental problems, since my chances were extremely high due to age. The doctor said, according to my age, there was a 1 in 15 chance of a chromosomal abnormality. We were scared. We decided to do an amniocentesis, which is the most accurate test. Yes, there are risks, but we needed to know what we were dealing with and prepare ourselves. Thankfully the test came back normal and all future testing looked great. I’m not gonna lie, the pregnancy did a number on me physically. It took at least a year until I felt normal again. We now have a beautiful, healthy 16 month old boy who has changed me in ways I could’ve never imagined before. I live for this boys smile. Congratulations on the impending arrival and as far as I’m concerned, you’re not old at all. It’s a matter of perspective. My only advice for your wife. looking back on my pregnancy, it’s important to eat healthy and not too gain too much weight. They say approx 25 pounds total weight gain is good. Light exercise is important too. Too many women are developing gestational diabetes due to age, weight gain and general unhealthiness. Not good for both mom and baby. I could blab on and on about this since in the past 2 years or so I’ve lived and breathed “BABY” and filled my brain up with loads of information. Welcome to the “New Parents in their 40’s” club. I think there are more members than people realize and I’m always happy to meet a new member. Keep us updated… ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/28 "2011-07-07T18:10:47Z")
I became a first time dad at the age of 47. You’re not alone. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/29 "2011-07-08T02:06:35Z")
Everybody has given you the encouragement you need, so I’ll just say this. Be prepared for that heartbeat the doctor says you might hear. It’s breathtaking. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/30 "2011-07-08T13:59:57Z")
Just wanted to say thanks for all the good thoughts…I felt a little weird when this thread and [EmAnJ’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=615138)were right next to each other. We go in for our first ultrasound on Friday the 15th. Seems like forever. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/31 "2011-07-08T15:51:43Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > At 44, I’ll be 62 when this little zygote heads off to college. I’m not worried about the age that much, I’m fairly healthy, in decent shape, I was 55 when my wife and I adopted the Firebug, who was then a year and a half old. So I’ll be 71 when the little rascal graduates from high school and heads off to college. You’ll do just fine. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/32 "2011-07-08T16:45:34Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > She’s 35, way younger than me. Is that old for a first time pregnancy? > > And thanks for the good thoughts everybody! I just bought “What to expect when you’re expecting” for her. **Dweezil** was born a week after my 35th. Not “old” but be prepared for them to get pushy regarding prenatal tests such as amnio (but do a lot of reading and make informed choices regarding that, as well). **Moon Unit** was born 2.5 years after that. So we won’t be quite as old as you when our youngest leaves the nest, but we won’t be far behind! (or, er, something… we’re older than you are now). Oh, and CONGRATS!!! ::::doing happy dance for you:::: ::::arthritic twinges ensue:::: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![baileygrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@baileygrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baileygrrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/33 "2011-07-08T17:06:06Z")
Congrats!! My husband is about to become a 2nd time dad at the age of 47 and he is thrilled. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/34 "2011-07-18T15:49:49Z")
Just an update…had our first ultrasound last Friday. Actually saw The Bean, and it’s heartbeat. 130BPM! Amazing! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/35 "2011-07-18T15:54:24Z")
I might win this derby; my husband was 51 when our little toot was born. It was first-time for him, though not for me — but I was nearly 41 when he was born. And creaky, let me tell you. He’s almost 7 now, and the light of his daddy’s life. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/36 "2011-07-18T16:49:09Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > Just an update…had our first ultrasound last Friday. Actually saw The Bean, and it’s heartbeat. 130BPM! > Amazing! totally awesome, my 3rd little guest is 2, that first time hearing their heartbeat, always chills down the spine shakey legs rubbery knees cool…and you aint seen nothing yet ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/37 "2011-07-18T22:27:06Z")
Congratulations! My husband was 44 when our (only) child was born. It will be fine, and you will have the time of your life. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/38 "2011-07-19T01:17:52Z")
Yet another congrats. Lil’ Map was born when I was 40, nine months ago. Assuming you are as fortunate as we have been (you probably will be, don’t worry), you will be blessed with someone who will bring unexpected humor and delight into your house, even at three or four months old – by which time you’ll be back to a pretty normal sleep routine. Treasure every day! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/39 "2011-07-19T05:00:04Z")
I was an “elderly primapara” myself. After spending, astonishingly, half my life avoiding getting pregnant, I found someone to marry and impregnate me, and I gave birth 13 months from the wedding date. Today my baby is a college graduate and out of the house, and I’m told we done good as parents. I wish the same to you someday! You’re in for a trip. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930/40 "2011-09-29T20:46:11Z")
It’s a boy!!! We just got back from our genetics counseling/Ultrasound, due to our ages. Mrs. LeBeef is 35, so there was an increased chance of some chromosomal problems, but we are in the 1 in 17000 odds for that so no amniocentesis. Names are next, I guess. I’m pulling for Nipsey, Slappy or Shecky! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-time-dad-at-44/587930.md?page=3)