First-time home buying (planning) for a 53 year old—seeking basic wisdom on getting started

Individual deal breakers vary.

When I bought this place, the septic “system” was a pipe running from the house into a 50 gallon barrel buried out in the yard. No leach field. From the stench, even in March, that barrel had filled up years before and so had the ground around it. (At least, since it was well away from watercourses and in the middle of 80 acres of farm fields none of which were growing crops at the time, there probably hadn’t been any downstream damage. And the people who put in the new system dealt with the barrel.)

In addition, the roof had been leaking badly enough to bring large parts of the ceilings in a couple of rooms down onto the floor.

When I first saw the house from the outside, I nearly wrote it off. Then I took a second look and thought, ‘Wait a minute, the roof line’s still straight.’ Turned out the house was quite salvageable.

I had, however, turned down several places due to a lack of relatively level ground, to an excess of level ground as in I didn’t want to live in flatlands, to soils only suitable for pasture and wetlands, to being on what by my standards was a main road, and/or for having the neighbors described above. Most or all of which might well not have bothered somebody else, or even been considered an advantage. Consider what suits you.

– Write up a list of everything you’d want in an ideal place. Do not, repeat not, expect to get everything on the list. But it’s useful for comparison purposes; and, thinking about it, you’ll get a better idea what are actual dealbreakers for you, and what you’re willing to fix if possible or work around or live with if not.

Yes indeed. And also in the basement.

One place I looked at, I tried to go down in the basement; and was told that I couldn’t because the stairs weren’t safe. I said “Let me know when you’ve got them fixed” and went on my way. (No, I didn’t hear from them again.)

That may depend on the basement. I wound up with the type of basement in which the water comes in one side and goes out the other. I tied the exit into the field tile lines and that’s worked just fine. But this old fieldstone-walled dirt-floor basement was constructed on the idea that water could get both in and out – many aren’t.

ETA: If the basement, or worse the main floor, shows evidence of a high water line – run away fast. And if the house sits anywhere near a lake or a stream, even what looks like a tiny stream – check where the last high water line was.

@xanthous , remember the age-old rule: location, location, location.

A homebuyer might be happy in the first week of ownership, pleased with their purchase of a nice new (to them) home. But if that house depreciates in the coming years, and especially if the mortgage puts the owner upside down, the owner may come to hate their purchase or may feel like it’s a ball and chain around their ankles.

This happened to some distant family members and they grew quite bitter about it.

Be sure to find a place where homes and property values are likely to appreciate.

oh and when you put in an offer for a house in this market be prepared to pay 50-100k or get trashed by other sellers we’ve been trying to buy a home with 300k

we’ve found moderate fixer-uppers that were going for 250k being pushed up to 350 to 375 k

Houses in our neighborhood were built in the early 1950s as part of a development. The house value has gone up far more in the 25 years we owned it than the cost of maintenance. I’m talking over time more than over distance. But I agree newer houses with more nifty features might cost more. But so do very old houses. We rented a house from the late 19th century, and when I wanted to replace the window screens I had to get them specially made at the hardware store, which was well fitted for such things.

Were they bonded? Did they get the proper permits? My town is very strict on permitting, I know someone who got in trouble trying to sell a house where relatively minor improvements were done without jumping through the proper hoops. Our HoA is also a pain. Near us someone who bought a house and wanted a new roof didn’t clear it and get the right type of roof, and the work was held up for months while they fought it out. Our first question to a new contractor is if they know their way around the city permitting process.

Find the place that owns you. You’ll know it when you get there. All the financial stuff will work out if it has to.

Nothing worse than living where you don’t want to be.

With regard to living (and thriving) in a more remote area, (imagine 10-15 miles from two under 10k pop towns, 45 miles from nearest 900k pop city), I have a few Qs if anyone is versed in this:

Utilities: I don’t really know much about the whole concept of well water, septic, or propane heat. Do those types of utilities end up being more risky, expensive or more upkeep?

Internet: In a more remote area am I going to expect that services like Internet aren’t going to be top quality and if Internet for remote work is a non-negotiable, that’s more than likely some thing I won’t have control over improving? I don’t know if this is old-school thinking, but in my mind, I feel like if I saw a bunch of satellite dishes around that I would expect the Internet is not great.

Independence vs Loneliness: I’ve always been a very independent person who is not a super social person and have no problem with being alone, although I will say, I never realized how grateful I was for a small group of women that I get together with maybe three times a year until I didn’t see them for three years since the pandemic. I’d be happy going back to seeing them three times a year, but it’s hard to gauge the loneliness factor as a person who has generally lived in proximity to people and amenities, and for example, I lived for half a year in Brooklyn and worked in New York City, and really had no problem with all the people there, but it’s also really easy to kind of be alone in New York City because folks there are kind of known for keeping to themselves and getting where they’re going. I did just fine with that vibe! I’m not the type to get chatty with or borrow a cup of flour from neighbors, or join clubs just for the camaraderie. But there’s also a little voice that says “are you really sure you could handle a dearth of people?”

Safety: I’ve gotten kind of used to living in a house with a security system, but I also live in proximity to crime and traffic. Maybe crime isn’t such a concern in a more remote area, but I feel like I would have to get used to the “maybe nobody will hear you if you scream” creepy vibe lol. As an aside, I do not like scary movies so I do have a bit of that “scared of the dark” thing I’d have to come to terms with.

All of the above vs nature: Just to circle back, the idea of somewhere a bit more remote with more nature around really speaks to my birdwatching and love of being out in nature without having to drive to it to experience it (along with all of the other people who drove to it and whose dogs are pooping on the no dogs allowed hiking paths lol). That has always bummed me out about city living.

Inconvenience: I’m definitely a planner, so I think I would be fine with planning for shopping trips and losing that immediate gratification thing that many of us have gotten used to in the age of Amazon and food delivery. I am a great cook, so no worries there. (however, forgetting a crucial ingredient would have to be something I’d have to roll with.) Also, can’t call a friend to pop over and help move a freezer into the basement, so there’s that whole thing. Maybe I’d have to become friendly with the neighbors or pay up for delivery/install.

@Chefguy this is me battling the romanticism :slight_smile:

Prospective homeowners in the Boston area should not overlook this fabulous property in Dorchester advertised as being on “a quiet tree-lined street”:

Coincidentally, the property is featured in today’s Boston Globe, which identifies it as “a hive of gang activity” and locus for shootings.

“It is this house, a teal-colored triple-decker, that officials contend is the source of so much trouble. This house, officials say, is home quarters to a gang whose members have feuded with other outfits up and down the Talbot Avenue corridor.”

“It has the dubious distinction of being one of just four addresses on Boston’s official list of problem properties, an action of last resort.

Don’t miss out!!!

People living remotely often have fantastic things to say about …

Well water should be tested. Septic field/tank should be evaluated by an expert (if possible). Propane will be a little more expensive than natural gas, but otherwise performs the same. Heat pumps are maybe better. A/C can be added with mini-splits if necessary (easy on exterior walls). Otherwise a well/septic field can be considerably less expensive than town tap fees and assessments. If something goes wrong, of course, all bets are off. How deep is the well? How many GPM? How old is the septic field?

Oh yes, I’ve heard about starlink, but didn’t really contextualize it in a “I may consider this one day“ kind of way. I think my satellite dish thinking may be a bit outdated. :wink:

Regarding what engineer_comp_geek said, you might consider a home warranty. It’s a roughly $500 cost, and home warranty companies are often so anxious for business (they realize that once you have the coverage, you are likely to renew) that they make it easy to sign up and will cover almost any appliance that you inventory. This is an item you can ask the seller to cover, to throw it in at closing.

A Home Warranty will cover major repairs and even replacement of the major infrastructure like appliances, furnace, HVAC, etc. which should give you some peace of mind.

Yes, my sister and BIL have had several appliances get fried (and covered) due to power surges from power outages. I’ll have to check if they have a home warranty or if it’s just some kind of general home insurance coverage that they were able to utilize.

I would assume coverage and cost is determined by the age of the home at time of purchase?

That would be me. I’m 100 miles west of Denver. The VERY high mountains. There are a couple of small towns 15 miles away.

I have a septic system, well, electricity and propane. Sort of depends on the septic system, but plan on pumping it every couple of years. I let mine go too long and we had some drain issues. I plan on replacing the septic field this summer. Not a clue how much that will cost. Guessing 10k.

I heated with wood for years. But it is a passive solar house so I have that (when it’s not snowing, got a foot yesterday). Now I heat with a free standing propane stove. It’s lovely.

Back in 1992 when I bought the place, I guess I was a little lonely. I had my dog, but no TV or internet. I watched quite a few VHS tapes.

I got married in 1996, and that is also when DirecTV came on line. So TV was solved. Then Hughes.net another dish that provided internet. It was slow, but doable. Now it’s Starlink. The latency of the geosynchronous satellites is gone.

I had already had climbing experience, but had to buy some more gear to get the Starlink dish up. Mostly due to a new steel roof that turns out to be very, very slick.

I had a land line, but ditched it. Was too unreliable. It would go down for a week or more. I stuck a cell phone antenna on the roof.

Between 11pm and 7am there is no sheriffs officer on duty. So we are pretty much on our own in that regard. But it’s not a problem really. I’ve never had to call them. And honestly, knowing this area, you would have to be suicidal to break into a home. We are mountain folk. And armed. We do have to scare bears away once in while.

My Wife and I play a lot of chess or cribbage. About 10 games a week. We put on classic rock, crack a few beers and visit about our day as we play. Dogs lay in front of the propane heat stove. My wife and I each have an Amish rocker. That works great for chess as you can rock forward for a closer look. And then back to ponder the game. It’s very Norman Rockwell.

Feel free to ask me questions xanthous, what area are you looking at? Latitude, altitude and attitude is quite important.

I don’t know the formula Home Warranty companies use for pricing, but they seem very reasonable to me.

Disclosure: I am a real estate agent in Wisconsin, and Realtor, active for 25 years. That said – and states are different – I suggest you engage a buyer’s agent. Not all states allow this, but in my state, I can serve as either a buyer’s or seller’s agent or both. Whatever arrangement you wish will be in writing, signed by all parties, and disclosed to opposing parties (seller, seller’s agent).

As a buyer’s agent, I am legally and ethically obligated to represent the buyer’s interests. The law prohibits me from putting my own or the seller’s interests ahead of my client. So it might be advantageous to consider this if available in your state.

The cost? From nothing to whatever you and the agent agree upon. It would be violating anti-trust law for me to say, “They (or we) all charge $X.”

The cost could be nothing if the agent’s commission is forthcoming from other sources; i.e., the seller, as part of an MLS listing.

The cost could be otherwise if no MLS is involved, like if you ask the agent to investigate purchasing something not already on the market. In this case, since there is no guaranteed commission, the bill has to be covered by someone, but the rate is negotiable.

I think you can trust almost any home inspector to do the same job for you they would do for anyone regardless of anyone’s financial interests. That same job will not be very impressive. Most people have owned and maintained houses for a while could do the same for you. Inspectors may make a show of crawling into tight spaces to inspect a wall but it’s almost always nothing but a visual inspection. And they may not know what they’re talking about at all, the buyer’s inspector at my old house crawled under the stair way and saw some black stuff in the wall and said that it was insecticide and that was sign there had been a problem with ants or termites. The prospective (and eventual) buyer came with me to look again, and he realized it was the same black sealant that had been put on the interior concrete block wall everywhere. You couldn’t see it in many spots under the finished walls, and it was unusual to find sealant like that on the interior in my experience, but it was more a sign of potential water infiltration than ants or termites. I had already filled him on the past problem with water getting through foundation and how I had cured the problem using an ancient secret that water flows downhill and regrading the land on the side of the house. The inspector didn’t find the crack in the block wall in the garage either. Was a common type of thing, a crack that started at the corner of a window opening, although the trail of patch material covering the crack was obvious the inspector made no mention of it.

I would agree with getting two inspections, but also the advice of the most knowledgeable homeowners you know, along with experts in any questionable areas.

This is helpful info. I googled “can I engage a buyers agent in Ohio?” and first return was Ramsey Solutions (sounds like Suze Orman type of thing—I’m sure there are other avenues for finding someone, but at least it sounds like maybe Ohio offers this bc there were buyers’ agents listed in my area there. I’ll do more research on that and have that option when I’m ready).

I would feel much more confident about this whole process if I had an expert on my side. (says everyone everywhere and I’m sure a lot of people claim to be experts, but I’m sure to some degree I’m under my own steam in this— I feel like I need expertise in not just homebuying, but also financial considerations and mortgage considerations and insurance considerations and practical considerations and I could probably come up with like six more considerations lol). I mean, this seems like such a huge undertaking with so many things you need to know to make smart decisions that I don’t know how people aren’t just wholesale scared away by it all!

I love to research stuff, so I just need to pretend like it’s “school” and fun, and I’ll learn so much, and then when it’s time to really get in the middle of it, maybe it won’t seem so scary.

A default approach of trusting people who have a financial incentive to act against your interests is just naive. A realtor has a massive financial incentive to not find problems that would hold up the sale. A building inspector who is very good at finding hidden problems is not going to get referrals from a realtor.

There exist honest and diligent people who will do the right thing despite a massive financial incentive to do the wrong thing. But unless you have reliable personal knowledge that someone is of such good character, follow the money.

Can you point to a case where an inspector dishonestly favored a realtor’s financial interest? I’m sure you can one somewhere, but in most states inspectors are licensed and you could sue them if they ignored clear indications of a problem, and they could lose there license as well. And again, they don’t do a very good job anyway. Obviously a realtor will want to work with inspectors who haven’t sunk any sales for them, but that doesn’t mean the inspector didn’t do the job they were paid for, which is to look for obvious problems that any knowledgeable person could find.

You have a big problem with your house that wasn’t found, you’re going through the headache of trying to find a way to fix it - but it’s okay because you can sue someone.

Great advice.

You are seriously asking for examples of human beings being dishonest because it’s advantageous to them?

Why on earth push back against such a simple common sense piece of advice as finding a building inspector independently, and not taking a recommendation from someone who has a strong financial incentive to recommend an inspector who will tend to downplay any issues they find?