# First Words on Mars – Funny & Serious replies welcome... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145 "2011-09-04T05:49:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/1 "2011-09-04T05:49:04Z")
You of all people are about to make history, among the ranks of Neil Armstrong, by being the first person to set foot on the surface of Mars. I think Neil’s first words (despite the apparent flub), are indelible, immortal, eloquent, and perhaps the perfect sentiment to mark such a monumental moment in the history of mankind. Those are some BIG boots to fill. So, let’s hear your best shot. Funny’s always good, but I’d love to see if anyone can come close to the weight of Armstrong’s words as well. Of course, both or several entries are welcome. _The Olympus has landed…_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/2 "2011-09-04T06:09:25Z")
“Boom! Yummy!” (points for anyone who actually gets that reference) ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/3 "2011-09-04T06:21:07Z")
“Well, here we are.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/4 "2011-09-04T06:31:55Z")
Ahhhhh my eyes! The goggles do nothing! Gotcha ya! Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/5 "2011-09-04T06:56:23Z")
Where’s the kaboom? There’s supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/6 "2011-09-04T07:06:31Z")
To bravely fart where no man has ever farted before!😉 [Youtube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O84gh9Kwzz8) ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/7 "2011-09-04T07:06:42Z")
“COCA-COLA!!!” (With apologies to Robert Klein.) ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/8 "2011-09-04T07:31:55Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > “Boom! Yummy!” (points for anyone who actually gets that reference) The Ventura Bros! “Those who will follow in this first footstep on another planet, well… it’s just not the same as being first, and I pity you for that.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/9 "2011-09-04T07:47:56Z")
I’m going to Disney World! This is big fucking deal. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/10 "2011-09-04T08:04:55Z")
And now for something completely different. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/11 "2011-09-04T08:22:48Z")
这是一个人的一小步，却是人类的一巨大步 ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/12 "2011-09-04T08:23:09Z")
“I KNEW I ‘shoulda’ made that left ‘toin’ in ‘Albakoikie’” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/13 "2011-09-04T08:51:41Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > 这是一个人的一小步，却是人类的一巨大步 More likely something like “多吃红色尘埃，美国人的狗！” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/14 "2011-09-04T08:53:34Z")
How about “你好, 媽媽!” ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/15 "2011-09-04T09:09:52Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > More likely something like “多吃红色尘埃，美国人的狗！” Eat red dust you yankie son of a bi… ? ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/16 "2011-09-04T09:29:27Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Eat red dust you yankie son of a bi… ? Well, it doesn’t specify the gender of the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/17 "2011-09-04T10:14:18Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > > [@Namkcalb](#): > > > > Eat red dust you yankie son of a bi… ? > > Well, it doesn’t specify the gender of the dog. Or the yankie… (I’m only guessing, googletranslate is terrible with Chinese, I did the smart thing and stole my quote off the wikipedia article of 尼尔·阿姆斯特朗 （níěr āmǔsītèlǎng） ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/18 "2011-09-04T11:38:43Z")
“I hear by claim the planet Mars in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the New Holy Roman Empire in this the 2371st year of our Lord” Turning towards fellow astronaut “Father Mark please send the vid of our arrival to Vatican Control and inform the Pontiff that construction of Mission Burroughs will begin in the morning.” ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/19 "2011-09-04T11:52:55Z")
Hey, where the [del]white[/del] green women at? ---
**Author:** ![chowching](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@chowching](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowching)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/20 "2011-09-04T12:07:19Z")
Oh my God what are those creatures?!! They’re approaching us! Aaaaaargh. (static) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145.md?page=2)