# First Words on Mars – Funny & Serious replies welcome... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145 "2011-09-04T05:49:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/41 "2011-09-04T17:48:26Z")
‘One small step for man, one giant le–_What the fuck is that_? Oh my god! Get the gun! … What do you mean there’s no gun? Why wouldn’t they give us a g–AAAUGH!’ ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/42 "2011-09-04T17:56:56Z")
“As the first human to have ever set foot on this planet, I herby pronounce myself as Eminent Ruler and Supreme Chancellor over all who set foot here, and declare Mars a sworn enemy of the planet Earth! My subjects, prepare the Death Rays! No, no no… Not the 1920s style… The newer models. Good God.” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/43 "2011-09-04T18:03:34Z")
“And on this special episode of Mythbusters, we’ll be investigating the movie _Total Recall_.” \ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/44 "2011-09-04T18:04:24Z")
“Dammit, Gilligan! Some three hour tour THIS turned out to be.” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/45 "2011-09-04T18:05:30Z")
“Better luck this time, Mr Gorsky.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/46 "2011-09-04T18:09:53Z")
“Whaddaya mean our luggage went to Saturn??” ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/47 "2011-09-04T18:39:37Z")
I know what I would say, but after I got back it would ensure that I never, ever, went into space again. Still, it might be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/48 "2011-09-04T19:48:03Z")
"OMFG . . . Bradbury was right! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/49 "2011-09-04T20:11:42Z")
“Jeez, what a dump!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/50 "2011-09-04T21:22:17Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I’d love to see if anyone can come close to the weight of Armstrong’s words as well. “That’s one small step for a woman…” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/51 "2011-09-04T22:01:11Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “That’s one small step for a woman…” How about, “That’s one small step for an elderly handicapped black jewish lesbian vegatarian redheaded Belgian dwarf…”. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/52 "2011-09-04T22:21:05Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “That’s one small step for a woman…” …Well, don’t leave us hanging! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/53 "2011-09-04T22:26:08Z")
First!!! ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/54 "2011-09-04T22:43:54Z")
_“Mars, booyah! Feed your wild side with Jack Link’s beef jerky!”_ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/55 "2011-09-04T22:58:18Z")
Dejah Thoris, I’m home! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/56 "2011-09-04T23:01:12Z")
Anybody hungry? Oh, the marvels of American science. Here we are millions of miles from earth, and we can still send out for pizza. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/57 "2011-09-04T23:46:21Z")
“I can see Russia from here!” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/58 "2011-09-04T23:52:16Z")
Well this sure ain’t the kind of place to raise a kid. In fact it’s cold as Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/59 "2011-09-05T00:32:58Z")
Holy shit! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/60 "2011-09-05T00:36:45Z")
: opens phrasebook : “My hovercraft is full of eels!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145.md?page=4)