# First Words on Mars – Funny & Serious replies welcome... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145 "2011-09-04T05:49:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/81 "2011-09-06T08:13:09Z")
“The weight that now presses this step into the Martian soil is not by my weight alone, but by the weight of the human spirit which has pushed across eons that are as dark and unknown to us as the vastness of space that lay beyond in our future; let this be only the beginning of such first steps, and may there never be a last.” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/82 "2011-09-06T09:28:33Z")
“_ **Owdammitsonofabitchowheelp!** _ I fell off the ladder and broke my arm! I am in a great deal of pain! Carter! Grab the duck tape and help me make a splint!” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/83 "2011-09-06T09:54:22Z")
The distance doesn’t matter; it is only the first step that is the most difficult. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/84 "2011-09-06T11:23:45Z")
“Houston, do people really taste like chicken? Over.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/85 "2011-09-06T13:17:19Z")
Cue Slo-Mo … ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/86 "2011-09-06T13:56:05Z")
“We are the Martians, now.” With transmission interference garbling the “the,” for tradition. (Special thanks to Ray Bradbury) ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/87 "2011-09-06T13:58:56Z")
“Crap, I just realized I left my phone on my dresser back on Earth, we gotta go back for it.” ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/88 "2011-09-06T14:24:19Z")
“Aaaaaaand… ACTION!” ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/89 "2011-09-06T14:30:13Z")
“Where the three-tittied bitches at?” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/90 "2011-09-06T20:15:28Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Somebody should make a joke about Albuquerque. \ See post #71. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/91 "2011-09-06T20:33:45Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > \ > > See post #71. _poking Bosda in the shoulder while munching a carrot_ See post #12, Doc.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/92 "2011-09-06T22:50:14Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > “The weight that now presses this step into the Martian soil is not by my weight alone, but by the weight of the human spirit which has pushed across eons that are as dark and unknown to us as the vastness of space that lay beyond in our future; let this be only the beginning of such first steps, and may there never be a last.” Nice! But we’ll probably here something like this. After this long trip, I’m ready for a cool sip of ZeroG Pepsi. Aaaahhh! Remember folks, nothing refreshes like ZeroG Pepsi - the official drink of Mars Mission III. ---
**Author:** ![Mewl\_Dear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mewl\_Dear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mewl_Dear)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/93 "2011-09-06T23:12:24Z")
I dont think we are in kansas anymore. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/94 "2011-09-06T23:34:03Z")
[deeeeep intake of O2] _“RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/95 "2011-09-07T02:04:18Z")
ulla or ooo-laaa, if you prefer the musical version. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/96 "2011-09-07T03:04:14Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > How about, “That’s one small step for an elderly handicapped black jewish lesbian vegatarian redheaded Belgian dwarf…”. Flemish or Wallonian? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/97 "2011-09-07T07:37:21Z")
“Okay, if anyone’s gotta pee, better do it now… this is the last stop before Jupiter.” “This is on small step for _a_ man, one giant leap for mankind… Unlike _other_ astronauts, I say my first words correctly.” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/98 "2011-09-07T10:25:19Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Flemish or Wallonian? 😃 Oh… 50-50. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/99 "2011-09-07T12:29:52Z")
“CHERRY CHEVAPRAVATDUMRONG!!! I started practising that when we left…” ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/100 "2011-09-07T12:55:07Z")
“Kaor!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145.md?page=6)