# First Words on Mars – Funny & Serious replies welcome...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 4, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145 "2011-09-04T05:49:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 8

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**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/141 "2011-09-10T03:25:49Z")

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Who’s that little guy coming at us wearing the spittoon on his head? And what’s that in his hand? Oh, my God, it’s a disintegrating…

**sizzle**

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2011, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/142 "2011-09-10T04:54:23Z")

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_“Damn! What the fuck did I just step in?”_

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**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2011, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/143 "2011-09-10T06:29:58Z")

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“Um, Houston. This is Olympus. Seems we’ve landed 4,734 nautical miles from our target destination. Commander Tiggs set us down on Phobos due to Space Madness, ranting something about how he’s the Keeper of the Cheese, then went out the airlock without his suit. We await your response. Over.”

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**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars-funny-serious-replies-welcome/595145/144 "2011-09-10T06:59:57Z")

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Kane, what’s the hell is that thing wrapped around your face? Stay here, I’ll go tell Mother.

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