# First Words on Mars **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385 "2001-05-04T20:29:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/21 "2001-05-05T18:32:25Z")
It’s so obvious. Only one word. The word is “Cool.” K? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/22 "2001-05-05T18:34:01Z")
MrVisible…I never thoat otherwise! ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/23 "2001-05-05T20:29:41Z")
“This is _it_?” “F_ck me, we’re walking on f_cking _Mars_!” “Rocks and dust. How exciting. No really.” “Yo, Armstrong! In your face, Moonboy!” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/24 "2001-05-05T20:59:16Z")
[announcer] This landing on another world has been brought to you by … Coca-Cola: life tastes _good_ … Radio Shack: you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers … the John D. and Katherine T. MacArthur Foundation … and viewers like you … [/announcer] ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/25 "2001-05-05T23:35:30Z")
“Houston, Cydonia Base here, the _Percival Lowell_ has landed.” ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/26 "2001-05-06T06:43:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\*According to Kim Stanley Robinson’s **Red Mars** , the first words spoken on Mars will be “Well, here we are.” > > I love the idea, but I think it’s a bit unlikely that it’d get past the PR people at NASA. But it got me thinking about what I’d say if I was the first human there.\*\* Actually, NASA didn’t have any chance of stopping Pete Conrad from saying, upon Apollo 12’s landing, “That might’ve been one small step for Neil, but it’s a big one for me!” [sic] ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/27 "2001-05-06T07:10:58Z")
Maybe it’s late, possibly I’m just too dense, but Montfort, I don’t get the “Sic.” What is incorrect? Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/28 "2001-05-06T07:13:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sir Rhosis \* > **Maybe it’s late, possibly I’m just too dense, but Montfort, I don’t get the “Sic.” What is incorrect?** The quotation. I’m not 100% sure I quoted Conrad accurately, and I couldn’t find a quick cite (but do check the _From the Earth to the Moon_ mini-series for it). ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/29 "2001-05-06T07:19:35Z")
Oh, I see. I thought you meant Conrad had used improper sentence structure or something. I’ve heard the transmission (years ago), it sounds about right. Which leads to another hijack. Most of the quotes from our astronauts were really lame. I admire the guys (and now, gals) immensely, but their off-the-cuff remarks leave a lot to be desired, Armstrong and a couple others aside. I’m always embarrassed by the guy who sings something like "I was strolling on the moon one day, in the merry old month of… (it’s not May, and he struggles to get it to scan, can’t remember the month). Sir ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/30 "2001-05-06T09:12:41Z")
“Jesus farging **Kee-rist**! You have the nerve to call that a landing? Who gave you your pilot’s license, Captain Crunch? \ Oh, shit, the microphone is still on. \ Ah, Houston, this is…” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/31 "2001-05-06T09:23:01Z")
Well…it’s…red. Can we go home now? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/32 "2001-05-06T14:08:34Z")
“OK, so I’m not the last man on earth. But I’m the first man on Mars. How about it, then?” “I can see Uranus…” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/33 "2001-05-06T15:07:25Z")
“Whoooooooo-EEE!” ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/34 "2001-05-06T17:09:52Z")
Hey Peter, I can see your house from here! ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/35 "2001-05-07T13:27:32Z")
Oooh, you make me so _very very angry!_ ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/36 "2001-05-07T13:39:18Z")
Him: “Look, darling: Are you absolutely sure this is Venus” ? Her: “Well, it could be the map” ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/37 "2001-05-07T13:47:19Z")
Beer Here!! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/38 "2001-05-07T13:54:49Z")
Houston, please report to the good people of planet earth that we have found their other socks. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/39 "2001-05-07T14:00:08Z")
Whoever sets foot first should let loose a stream of the 500 most obscene and offensive profanities and slurs. Now, every history and school book will have to include this “blue streak”. ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385/40 "2001-05-07T14:02:45Z")
## “What was that? Oh. No. We did NOT bring any women…” “Can I talk to Valentine Michael Smith, please???” “Gee, what is that black obelisk doing here?” O Vidi Vici Veni! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-words-on-mars/64385.md?page=3)