# Fit mom posts Facebook pic along with her 3 kids asking 'What's your excuse?' - Firestorm ensues **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010 "2013-10-23T04:47:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/261 "2013-10-29T01:17:44Z")
I’ve missed the middle few pages of this thread, but I don’t see how this: _“I have accomplished [arbitrary achievement] even though I [arbitrary set of hurdles, implied to be impressive and difficult to surmount]. What’s your excuse for not accomplishing [arbitrary achievement]?”_ . . . is not clearly a statement intended to inflate the speaker’s sense of self-importance, and to make the listener/reader feel ashamed about him/herself. The statement only works as motivation, if the writer assumes that the reader reads the subtext of the statement. The degree to which the reader reacts is a little bit irrelevant; you can’t throw semi-insults around, and then act surprised or shocked that some people feel insulted, and on top of that claim that feeling insulted is somehow a personal failing. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/262 "2013-10-29T01:45:24Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > _“I have accomplished [arbitrary achievement] even though I [arbitrary set of hurdles, implied to be impressive and difficult to surmount]. What’s your excuse for not accomplishing [arbitrary achievement]?”_ I find it interesting that a good bunch of the haters have to put their own words in quotes to then rip on Mrs. Kang. It must be that Mrs. Kang’s words just aren’t bad enough. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/263 "2013-10-29T01:53:27Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > I’ve missed the middle few pages of this thread, but I don’t see how this: > > _“I have accomplished [arbitrary achievement] even though I [arbitrary set of hurdles, implied to be impressive and difficult to surmount]. What’s your excuse for not accomplishing [arbitrary achievement]?”_ She didn’t say or even imply that in the picture. You inferred it (made it up). I don’t see how"What’s your excuse" turned into “I have accomplished [arbitrary achievement] even though I [arbitrary set of hurdles, implied to be impressive and difficult to surmount]. What’s your excuse for not accomplishing [arbitrary achievement]?” It would be like if I wrote "Well, you said ‘I’ve missed the middle few pages of this thread’, but what you actually meant is "I don’t know how to work a message board and can’t read very well’. Would that be fair. No, it wouldn’t. Same thing. You said one thing, it’s not fair for me to rearrange it into something else. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/264 "2013-10-29T03:08:02Z")
Eh. I think we may be swinging too far the other way now. No one can be blamed for ‘inferring’ the message that Eonwe posted. It’s pretty obvious that was the message. The dumb part is getting all worked up and offended over it. Just ignore it like you would any other commercial that is targeting you. Some people find that sort of thing effective and motivating…it that doesn’t apply to you, then just move on. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/265 "2013-10-29T03:50:20Z")
If she hasn’t overcome any hurdles or accomplished anything, in what way is she inspirational? ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/266 "2013-10-29T04:58:36Z")
As to **Kable** ’s repeated queries of “is this picture bitchy?” “what about this one?” “or this one?” I never said, and don’t think, Kang is a bitch. Maybe you can just say I’m inferring, but bottom line is that personally I think there is rarely a situation in which “excuse” doesn’t have a negative connotation. Think of your boss saying “what’s your excuse for not doing X”, versus “what is your reason for not doing X”. Or imagine any other scenario you like. Maybe it’s a regional language thing, or just depends on how different people see the word excuse. But when I see the word “excuse” it nearly always has the subtext of being an insufficient/poor reason. Someone has a good reason why they didn’t do something, or they have a poor excuse. So I guess I’m not a fan of the meme in general. And Kang’s reaction that “well you say your excuse why you don’t look like me/work out like me is X - then that’s your excuse and that’s fine!” rings a little hollow with me. Because I never use the word excuse in a positive light. But again, YMMV. I’m not super worked up about it, but it does irk me. And my posts in this thread were just trying to explain why some people might be offended by Kang’s picture to those who think it’s inspiration and don’t understand why others don’t like it. And frankly, what I dislike even more than Kang’s picture are those who label anyone who dislike it as “haters”. Or say that if you don’t find it inspirational or find it offensive then you must have something wrong with you or you’re just jealous. People can have different interpretations of something without you needing to insult them. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/267 "2013-10-29T13:19:53Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > I find it interesting that a good bunch of the haters have to put their own words in quotes to then rip on Mrs. Kang. It must be that Mrs. Kang’s words just aren’t bad enough. No, it’s that the entire message is in the inferences, “between the lines” so to speak. Obviously “What’s your excuse?” is meaningless on it’s own. Without the context of the picture and all the accumulated history and knowledge that goes with the phrase and similar photos, it could mean anything. But that accumulated baggage is interpreted differently by everyone. For example, I interpret it a little bit different than **Eonwe** - rather than [arbitrary achievement] I think [arbitrary achievement that 99% of people can’t achieve regardless of effort]. There are a lot of women out there that no matter how thin they may get, will have really wide hips, small boobs and flat butts, and just won’t look like Ms. Kang. Or they may do an admirable job of losing a lot of weight… but not end up like Ms. Kang. What’s their excuse then? Not enough effort? Hardly. That’s the thing- the [arbitrary achievement] isn’t really an achievable one for the majority of women. It’s like me getting a PhD and holding my diploma while wearing my hood and saying “What’s your excuse?” It’s essentially saying that if they can’t get a PhD then they’re lazy or just too dumb. All that said, I don’t really hold Ms. Kang responsible; I don’t think she meant it this way- it was one of those silly memes meant more for internal consumption by the fitness community, but ended up becoming much more widespread than that. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/268 "2013-10-29T14:26:04Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > If she hasn’t overcome any hurdles or accomplished anything, in what way is she inspirational? Well she managed not to gain a bunch of weight after having kids. In America I guess that’s considered really hard, in France it’s the norm. I guess we all just eat too much. More of a major accomplishment would be this: [http://www.gagtroll.com/wp-contents/uploads/2013/05/She-has-a-kid-and-a-Six-Pack-500x595.png](http://www.gagtroll.com/wp-contents/uploads/2013/05/She-has-a-kid-and-a-Six-Pack-500x595.png) ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/269 "2013-10-29T14:40:22Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > I never said, and don’t think, Kang is a bitch. Maybe you can just say I’m inferring… You don’t think she’s a bitch then what are you inferring? > [@](#): > > Think of your boss saying “what’s your excuse for not doing X”, versus “what is your reason for not doing X”. Or imagine any other scenario you like. Maybe it’s a regional language thing, or just depends on how different people see the word excuse. But when I see the word “excuse” it nearly always has the subtext of being an insufficient/poor reason. Someone has a good reason why they didn’t do something, or they have a poor excuse. This must be one of those self esteem things. If someone asks me my excuse for something I’d just give a reason. “Reason” and “excuse” kind of mean the same thing in the above scenario, and regarding obesity, it’s bad, people really should take steps to avoid it. > [@](#): > > I’m not super worked up about it, but it does irk me. And my posts in this thread were just trying to explain why some people might be offended by Kang’s picture to those who think it’s inspiration and don’t understand why others don’t like it. I think we all understand why others don’t like it, their jealous and it reminds them that they probably should be exercising and eating right, but they know they still aren’t going to. The people that like the message think, if she can do it, so can I. > [@](#): > > And frankly, what I dislike even more than Kang’s picture are those who label anyone who dislike it as “haters”. Or say that if you don’t find it inspirational or find it offensive then you must have something wrong with you or you’re just jealous. People can have different interpretations of something without you needing to insult them. “Hater” isn’t an insult, it describes a behavior (look it up) and if a person is obese, they have something wrong with them. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/270 "2013-10-29T14:55:25Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s the thing- the [arbitrary achievement] isn’t really an achievable one for the majority of women. You think a majority of women physically can’t get down to a healthy and attractive weight? How then did they do it 30 years ago? > **[File:Obesity state level estimates 1985-2010.gif](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Obesity_state_level_estimates_1985-2010.gif)** > > Obesity\_state\_level\_estimates\_1985-2010.gif (612 × 451 pixels, file size: 567 KB, MIME type: image/gif, looped, 26 frames, 26 s) > Click on a date/time to view the file as it appeared at that time. > You cannot overwrite this file. There are no pages that use this file. > [@](#): > > It’s like me getting a PhD and holding my diploma while wearing my hood and saying “What’s your excuse?” It’s essentially saying that if they can’t get a PhD then they’re lazy or just too dumb. Like this? [http://tag-pictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/steve-jobs-inspirational-quotes-with-image.jpg](http://tag-pictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/steve-jobs-inspirational-quotes-with-image.jpg) For some reason I don’t find the above offensive. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/271 "2013-10-29T15:05:24Z")
Not everyone is going to look like Ms. Kang. To begin with, most of us are not Asian. How dare she imply I need an excuse not to be Chinese-Filipino! What is being presented is realistic for pretty much everyone who is not bedridden. We may not look like Ms. Kang, but we can get into the best shape possible for us, just like she did. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/272 "2013-10-29T15:05:54Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > “Hater” isn’t an insult, it describes a behavior (look it up) and if a person is obese, they have something wrong with them. So what? There’s something “wrong” with everybody. Whether it’s obesity or ugliness or a gambling problem or alcoholism or daddy issues or jealousy or medical issues, etc etc. Why do you think it’s necessary to point out what’s wrong with one certain subset of people? ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/273 "2013-10-29T15:11:52Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I think [arbitrary achievement that 99% of people can’t achieve regardless of effort]. There are a lot of women out there that no matter how thin they may get, will have really wide hips, small boobs and flat butts, and just won’t look like Ms. Kang. Or they may do an admirable job of losing a lot of weight… but not end up like Ms. Kang. What’s their excuse then? Not enough effort? Hardly. Although she does have slim hips, Kang has small boobs and her butt’s not visible. Yes, she has certain genetic traits which means that you may not be able to get her exact body, but you can have her same type of body. Her muscle tone probably takes about 3 hours per week of exercise. She’s not really that defined. She has some muscle tone, but nothing outrageous. You can achieve that type of muscle with some type of cross training activity like kick boxing, crossfit, p90x, etc. The level of training would be somewhat intense–at a level of 500+ calories / hour. You can work out less intense if you put in more hours. Her shape is more the result of having low body fat. I’m guessing she’s around 15%. Diet is going to be the major factor in being able to achieve that. The more she exercises the easier that will be. Her type of body is achievable with the proper diet and about 5-6 hours of intense exercise per week. And one reason she has slim hips and a small waist is because her strong muscles are pulling her body together like a natural girdle. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/274 "2013-10-29T15:47:15Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > So what? There’s something “wrong” with everybody. Whether it’s obesity or ugliness or a gambling problem or alcoholism or daddy issues or jealousy or medical issues, etc etc. Why do you think it’s necessary to point out what’s wrong with one certain subset of people? Obesity at least is really bad for people, is gross to look at, is preventable and has considerable societal/economic impacts: > **[Obesity | Society and culture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity#Society_and_culture)** > > In addition to its health impacts, obesity leads to many problems, including disadvantages in employment: 29  and increased business costs. > In 2005, the medical costs attributable to obesity in the US were an estimated $190.2 billion or 20.6% of all medical expenditures, while the cost of obesity in Canada was estimated at CA$2 billion in 1997 (2.4% of total health costs). The total annual direct cost of overweight and obesity in Australia in 2005 was A$21 billion. Overweight and obese Australi... I imagine alcoholism is to some degree the same. Ugly is much less a persons fault, and is certainly lessened by the person not being fat too. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/275 "2013-10-29T16:00:53Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Obesity at least is really bad for people, is gross to look at, is preventable and has considerable societal/economic impacts: > > [Obesity - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity#Society_and_culture) > > I imagine alcoholism is to some degree the same. Ugly is much less a persons fault, and is certainly lessened by the person not being fat too. Just as an FYI, alcoholism is also really bad for people, is gross to look at, is preventable and has considerable societal/economic impacts as do a number of other behaviors. I don’t really want to get into the whole obesity argument again, but not all obesity is preventable. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/276 "2013-10-29T16:44:04Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Just as an FYI, alcoholism is also really bad for people, is gross to look at, is preventable and has considerable societal/economic impacts as do a number of other behaviors. I don’t doubt any of that, which is why, if you notice, I said alcoholism is much the same. Probably neither should be swept under the rug and just accepted as normal. > [@](#): > > I don’t really want to get into the whole obesity argument again, but not all obesity is preventable. Maybe not all, maybe just 95%. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/277 "2013-10-29T16:48:26Z")
No, you said you ‘imagine it to be the same’, and I wanted to point out that it is very much the same, having lived through it and all. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/278 "2013-10-29T17:28:14Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > No, you said you ‘imagine it to be the same’, and I wanted to point out that it is very much the same, having lived through it and all. Oh, you were just confirming I was correct. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/279 "2013-10-29T18:16:52Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Obesity at least is really bad for people, is gross to look at, is preventable and has considerable societal/economic impacts: > > [Obesity - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity#Society_and_culture) > > I imagine alcoholism is to some degree the same. Ugly is much less a persons fault, and is certainly lessened by the person not being fat too. > [@Kable](#): > > I don’t doubt any of that, which is why, if you notice, I said alcoholism is much the same. Probably neither should be swept under the rug and just accepted as normal. > Maybe not all, maybe just 95%. > [@Kable](#): > > Oh, you were just confirming I was correct. Thanks. I’ve told you once in this thread to stop trolling. These three posts indicate that you did not take me seriously when I said I was going to start issuing you warnings for doing so. Your posting privileges are being discussed by the staff. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/280 "2013-10-29T18:21:11Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’ve told you once in this thread to stop trolling. > > These three posts indicate that you did not take me seriously when I said I was going to start issuing you warnings for doing so. > > Your posting privileges are being discussed by the staff. > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator Who’s trolling? I’ve not said anything untrue and I’m hardly the most antagonistic in this thread. Kang’s a bitchy, I was asked if I was dropped on my head. Perhaps this thread is hitting the moderators here a little to close to home and lost their impartiality. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010.md?page=15)