# Fit mom posts Facebook pic along with her 3 kids asking 'What's your excuse?' - Firestorm ensues **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010 "2013-10-23T04:47:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/141 "2013-10-24T20:56:27Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > And once again, you’re picking and choose the parts of a post you want to respond to, thereby changing the meaning of that which was posted. What’s your excuse for sucking so badly at reading comprehension? I’m sorry I suck so badly at reading. Do you think people SHOULD take steps to avoid obesity? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/142 "2013-10-24T21:17:53Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > Maybe your excuse is that you’ve had other priorities. It’s a good excuse. I think that’s the crux of the argument actually. The way the photo’s caption was phrased puts things in a black/white situation of having one acceptable priority for one’s life- to look good and not be fat, and that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t hold the same priorities. That’s not to say that being healthy isn’t a good priority to have, but being healthy doesn’t necessarily imply that you need to look like Ms. Kong to actually be healthy. Plus, not everyone places the same worth on looking good. I mean, I’m a 41 year old happily married father. It makes very little difference to me if I’m considered “hot” or not, as long as my wife will still have me, so having a chiseled physique isn’t high on the list of things I want to spend my time on, and I suspect a lot of women feel the same way . ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/143 "2013-10-24T21:26:05Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > bolding mine > Something that I haven’t seen mentioned in the thread. There is a difference between the two words “excuse” and “reason”. > > The word excuse implies that the thing (whatever it may be) is something one SHOULD be doing and if not, they’re sucky for not doing it. Whereas a reason is “I don’t do x, because y”. Where in this case Y is a choice rather than an out. > > An excuse would be, I want to do x, but I can’t because of y". A reason is “I simply don’t do x, because I choose y”. A find distinction yes, but there is a difference. The way I was raised, a reason is something you had no control over (traffic, weather, power outage, acts of god), an excuse is the result of inaction, poor contingency planning, laziness, etc. Valid reasons tend to be infrequent failures with wide impact (a snowstorm makes everyone late), where excuses tend to be recurring failures for one individual (traffic is bad, my kids were sick, my alarm clock didn’t go off, poor me, nothing goes right). And, as seen in this thread, excuse-makers tend to claim that people that succeed in areas where they don’t caught all the breaks, rather than concede they faced their own challenges but put forth more effort, usually because it’s more a priority to them. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/144 "2013-10-24T21:36:47Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > The haters reek of jealously. As immature as this post is, I am increasingly of the opinion that it is entirely correct. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > Are generally fit people outraged with her “callous” self promotion, or is the outrage mostly from the fatvocates, as linked in the OP? You already know the answer to this. Without even clicking on the link in the OP, I knew what exactly what fit mom he was talking about because this came up in my Facebook feed maybe about a month ago. A friend shared it and appended comments along the line of “I’ve been out of the gym too long. Gotta get back in,” and there was a short string of comments following that generally regarded the fit mom’s post as encouraging. The friend who shared the photo is something of a runner who’s fallen off the wagon somewhat, and instead of engaging Fatvocate Rage Mode, her reaction was a positive one. Seriously, responding to this with a lengthy list of poorly thought out and frankly irritating excuses, or inane sniping about her having the temerity to create a family, or accusing her of “fat shaming” (please tell me this is not an expression used commonly outside of the internet), or insulting her intelligence or courage (“wimp” – really?) just smacks unnecessary defensiveness. Your response to someone’s post encouraging people to get fit says way more about your petty insecurities than it does about her. So kudos for Kang, and phooey to The Fatvocacy. ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/145 "2013-10-24T21:40:02Z")
I take exception to your blatant asshole-shaming. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/146 "2013-10-24T21:43:22Z")
This thread is getting pretty far off-track. If people want to debate obesity as an issue, I think that discussion would be better done in GD. I can either move this thread there, or, if someone has something to say that isn’t commentary on each other’s weight and/or attitudes toward one’s own weight, I can leave this open and let whoever wants to debate start a new thread in GD. I don’t have a strong preference as to which it is. If someone has something to say about advertising, etc., pls. do so soon, otherwise I’m going to move the thread. [And that, boys and girls, is why I prefer that **astro** not start these threads with nothing but a link in the OP – too hard to tell exactly what the topic is and thus whether or not people have gotten off-topic.] **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/147 "2013-10-24T21:45:17Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > I’m sorry I suck so badly at reading. Do you think people SHOULD take steps to avoid obesity? Ah, still ignoring the actual point and the actual reason people were annoyed with her. Are you really this dense, or do you just enjoy arguing merely to argue? You’re veering off of the subject to support your own agenda. The argument is not “is not being obese healthier?” (though good try at avoiding the actual point) it’s was Ms. Kang’s method of trying to get her message across a good way to go about it? Her message, rather than being inviting, helpful, and supportive OF those who might be persuaded to get healthy and slim was instead, exclusionary and one-sided, very “this is only for the sexy people”…and yes, I know she’s been backpedal blogging like mad saying that she was really only trying to be inspirational…she has troubles too, blah blah blah. I don’t believe her. You can’t have it both ways honey. You’re either a mean stuck up girl who intended to shame fatties, in which case, like I said “OWN it! don’t wimp out, stand by your beliefs” or you made a mistake, in which the same applies, OWN it and apologize honestly without all this “it’s everyone else’s fault they just took it wrong, really…I was being inspirational” BS. And frankly, her photo and message aren’t exactly “let’s get healthy” they’re “let’s get hot” and face it, thin or no, that ain’t gonna happen for a lot of people no matter how thin they get. Case in point, VERY thin woman… > **[Sandra Bernhard | Actress, Writer, Music Department](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000928/)** > > Known for: The King of Comedy, Hudson Hawk, Without You I'm Nothing Just more of a reason why her whole “but I’m trying to inspire people to get _healthy_” is a buncha horse puckey. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/148 "2013-10-24T22:24:00Z")
I wonder if people feel the same way about this guy as the woman in this thread? Aren’t there strong parallels? [http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html](http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html) ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/149 "2013-10-25T00:26:02Z")
> [@Hakuna\_Matata](#): > > I wonder if people feel the same way about this guy as the woman in this thread? > Aren’t there strong parallels? > > [http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html](http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html) Pretty strong I would say. For a little more perspective: [https://www.google.com/search?q=what’s+your+excuse&espv=210&es\_sm=119&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=gLlpUpuDIuPayAGoloGwAw&ved=0CAkQ\_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=705](https://www.google.com/search?q=what's+your+excuse&espv=210&es_sm=119&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=gLlpUpuDIuPayAGoloGwAw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=705) The fat man with the girlfriend was my favorite.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/150 "2013-10-25T00:43:18Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Ah, still ignoring the actual point and the actual reason people were annoyed with her. I’m sorry I think the actual reason is jealously. Are you offended by all the others in the photos linked above? I bet not. > [@](#): > > The argument is not “is not being obese healthier?” (though good try at avoiding the actual point) it’s was Ms. Kang’s method of trying to get her message across a good way to go about it? But I followed your own reasoning and it seems to me that being obese is something people “SHOULD” take steps to avoid, such that the word “excuse” for not doing so really does apply. > [@](#): > > Her message, rather than being inviting, helpful, and supportive OF those who might be persuaded to get healthy and slim was instead, exclusionary and one-sided, very “this is only for the sexy people”… Did she say those words you put in quotes, or did you? > [@](#): > > and yes, I know she’s been backpedal blogging like mad saying that she was really only trying to be inspirational…she has troubles too, blah blah blah. I don’t believe her. From the link given by the OP she stood by what she said. She wasn’t backpedaling at all. It seems you really want to cast her in the worst light possible. > [@](#): > > You can’t have it both ways honey. You’re either a mean stuck up girl who intended to shame fatties, in which case, like I said “OWN it! don’t wimp out, stand by your beliefs” or you made a mistake, in which the same applies, OWN it and apologize honestly without all this “it’s everyone else’s fault they just took it wrong, really…I was being inspirational” BS. She didn’t use the word “fatties” though did she? Personally I do use words like that but it seems moderators here are going to ban me if I stand behind like you want. Seems fit people can’t catch a break either way in this thread. > [@](#): > > And frankly, her photo and message aren’t exactly “let’s get healthy” they’re “let’s get hot”… Again did she say that, or are those words in quotes something you added in on your own? And for that matter, is “getting hot” a bad thing? > [@](#): > > Case in point, VERY thin woman… > [Sandra Bernhard - IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000928/) Her? [http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/e/a/eam388yv8chnhcy.jpg?skj2io4l](http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/e/a/eam388yv8chnhcy.jpg?skj2io4l) She’s a solid 9/10 overall , handicapping for her age at the time (late 30s then) a 10/10. Yes, guys are attracted to a great body. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/151 "2013-10-25T00:44:18Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > As immature as this post is, I am increasingly of the opinion that it is entirely correct. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/152 "2013-10-25T00:48:14Z")
> [@Bob's Zombie](#): > > Is it really smart to put that kind of effort into dropping weight right after you have a child? > [@kayaker](#): > > Not if you’re breastfeeding. Her youngest is 8 months old, not a newborn. I haven’t read the whole story but I’m willing to bet she was exercising and eating well during pregnancy, which is likely going to give her less weight to drop. There’s absolutely no reason not to start working out as soon after the baby is born as your Dr says is ok, and there’s no reason not to get back into healthy habits while breast feeding. Yes you may have to eat more to keep up your milk supply, but if your focus is on health and muscle tone rather than starvation, that shouldn’t be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/153 "2013-10-25T03:33:34Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > And again, as I said upthread, it must be so terribly time-consuming to keep fit when it’s your 9-5 JOB to do so. :rolleyes: Sheesh, all I did was field work which entailed some hiking in the woods, some bending and stretching, and some lifting of heavy objects and just that alone kept me fit. But I didn’t have to work a regular job, being away from home for 10 hours and then come home and try to fit in the sorts of workouts that are required to look like the young lady in question, and I sure as hell didn’t go around gloating “hey, what’s wrong with the rest of you”? > > If she’s working out AS her job/personally owned company for 8 hours a day it’s HARDLY comparable to a single mom trying to work in effective workouts in between her three jobs and deal with the lack of funds to buy appropriately healthful foods. Her life is far and away more conducive to fitness (including as she herself admits a husband who [paraphrased] “Helps out a TON”) than many people’s. Can it be done? Yes of course, but it’s not as simple as her statement bitchily assumes. You and other people who have said this are making assumptions that don’t match reality. Most people who work as trainers don’t get much time to work out themselves. I’m internet friends with a couple of people who work in fitness. One owns a gym, the other does training at a couple of different facilities. They’re both sleep-deprived (huge negative impact on health and fitness, especially recovery) because they have to get up at 04:00 or 05:00 for early clients. They might be in the gym for 12–14 hours, but virtually never have time to work out unless they explicitly schedule it … and then they still get interrupted sometimes because a client is training and has a question, or some business-related crisis comes up, or someone pukes in the bathroom, etc. They often can’t eat regular meals because lunch breaks and just before or just after dinner are peak busy times. Even fitness gurus like Robb Wolf have said flat-out that running a gym was deleterious to his health, and had a disastrous effect on his fitness. This is the only online comment I can find right now, but he has mentioned the problems gym owners and trainers have in following their own advice several times on the Paleo Solution podcast: > [@](#): > > R: OH! I tried to commit suicide by caffeine intake! We had opened the gym in Chico which was growing like gang-busters (we were picked as one of Men’s Health “Top 30 Gyms in America”). I was working 6am-10pm every day, blogging, travelling the weekends doing seminars all over the world, doing my own training…I wrote a New York Times best selling book…I did a lot of cool stuff but I seriously hammered myself in the process. One day I realized I was drinking 3-5 pots of espresso per day (I use one of those Bialetti stove top espresso makers…the 9 cup variety…). I was counselling my clients on the importance of sleep, food and stress control and I was the worst example you could imagine on the stress and sleep side of things. I did some testing and my ASI indicated a stage 2 adrenal fatigue (elevated cortisol in the PM, low in the AM, DHEA-S going down). I went off coffee (no joke, I had auditory and visual hallucinations for a few days) and cut back my schedule. Three to four months of tinkering and my ASI came back bullet proof. I like to think of this as a good “learning experience” as I encounter people all the time doing similar things that I did. > > …I opened a gym and do the writing and whatnot in an effort to help people, but the ironic un-intended consequence was that it became very hard to manage my own health and fitness. Over time I’ve learned balance and when to push stuff off my schedule instead of adding more just because a project looks like an interesting opportunity." Just because her job is fitness-related doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her to keep fit. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/154 "2013-10-25T03:52:50Z")
Quote: Originally Posted by CanvasShoes View Post Ah, still ignoring the actual point and the actual reason people were annoyed with her. > [@Kable](#): > > I’m sorry I think the actual reason is jealously. Are you offended by all the others in the photos linked above? I bet not. You keep coming back to that people are offended by the person’s (whether it’s Ms. Kang or the others’) accomplishments and bodies. No I’m not offended by their accomplishments and bodies, and for the reasons I’ve stated many times. But yes, I do find the whole “what’s your excuse” premise accusatory and unhelpful. However, as I’ve stated many times, and about 15 different ways from Sunday, my primary annoyance with Ms. Kang is her refusal to take responsibility for her campaign. If she had merely put it out there with “look how hot I got, I worked really hard and I did it” I’d be all for it. Great! You deserve it, yes it IS hard to get in shape after having a kid and yes, you DO look great. For the last time, my annoyance is with the way she put it and then her follow-up refusal to own it. Quote: The argument is not “is not being obese healthier?” (though good try at avoiding the actual point) it’s was Ms. Kang’s method of trying to get her message across a good way to go about it? > [@](#): > > But I followed your own reasoning and it seems to me that being obese is something people “SHOULD” take steps to avoid, such that the word “excuse” for not doing so really does apply. No, you didn’t “follow my reasoning” at all. You’re still not getting it. You want to get the discussion off-track by veering into a discussion of whether obesity is unhealthful or not. No one would argue that it’s unhealthy. But that’s not why people protested this particular person’s ad. And that’s not what the premise of the thread is. It’s how/why Ms. Kang’s SPECIFIC ad is offensive to people. Quote: Her message, rather than being inviting, helpful, and supportive OF those who might be persuaded to get healthy and slim was instead, exclusionary and one-sided, very “this is only for the sexy people”. > [@](#): > > Did she say those words you put in quotes, or did you? The quotes designate “so to speak” not “I’m quoting what someone said”, quotes can be used in more than one way. When I say “her message” I am talking of the unspoken message implied in the photo and caption. It’s very one-sided. And that too is something you don’t seem to quite understand, that is, that a person can imply something without saying or writing it in words. For example, a dirty look, does that help? A person has given a very CLEAR message that says “I don’t like you, I don’t like what you did” or “get out of my way” or “who do you think you are”. And yet, they’ve never opened their mouth. THAT is what I’m talking about when I say the message WRT Ms. Kang’s photo ad. It’s very like a dirty look. Only it’s an unspoken critical bit of bitchiness. Quote: and yes, I know she’s been backpedal blogging like mad saying that she was really only trying to be inspirational…she has troubles too, blah blah blah. I don’t believe her. > [@](#): > > From the link given by the OP she stood by what she said. She wasn’t backpedaling at all. It seems you really want to cast her in the worst light possible. I’m talking specifically of her interview. When confronted with how unhappy a lot of people were with her ad, she kept on saying “but I’m trying to be inspirational…” and so on. THAT is backpedaling. If she were truly honest, she would have said “yes, I do believe people make too many excuses and I stand by my message, harsh or not”. I still wouldn’t like her message’s delivery, but I would respect her for being honest about it at least. There are a lot of fitness professionals who ARE very harsh like that. Jillian Michaels for instance. As someone said upthread, there are different ways for fitness professionals to help people, some people are very Drill Instructor and harsh about it, and that works for some people. As another doper above said, generally it’s people who have a long history of being fairly involved in being fit themselves and have perhaps just somewhat fallen off the wagon. But for those people who are very obese and morbidly obese, that sort of treatment just makes so many people in that situation go further into their shell and be even more “yup, I’m a loser, I can never have that”. Quote: You can’t have it both ways honey. You’re either a mean stuck up girl who intended to shame fatties, in which case, like I said “OWN it! don’t wimp out, stand by your beliefs” or you made a mistake, in which the same applies, OWN it and apologize honestly without all this “it’s everyone else’s fault they just took it wrong, really…I was being inspirational” BS. > [@](#): > > She didn’t use the word “fatties” though did she? Personally I do use words like that but it seems moderators here are going to ban me if I stand behind like you want. Seems fit people can’t catch a break either way in this thread. You don’t seem to be understanding that she doesn’t have to have literally SAY those exact words for the unspoken message to be very clear. The word “message” doesn’t only mean the written or spoken word. What I’m talking about is the combination of her photo and that caption sends a very clear unspoken message of just the things I’ve been describing above. And I personally don’t think that you were intentionally being a jerk, I think you’re just having a very hard time understanding anything other than black and white, and that you’re really REALLY intent on making sure that it’s known how bad and ugly obesity is. When I say “her intent” I mean just that Intent. No, the actual literal word “fatties” doesn’t appear on her ad, but the way her photo is put together with the snarky caption is a clear message sent to people and again, it’s discouraging to a lot of people (judging by the many comments on the Yahoo page and here). At any rate, back to the “you really want people to know how bad and ugly obesity is”. Do you really think that fat people are somehow magically unaware that they’re unhealthy and unattractive? And do you believe that a mean comment like “what’s your excuse” coupled with a photo of, what looks to them to be an impossible goal, is helpful or something that will make them change their ways? If, as she keeps claiming, her purpose was to get the message across to that faction of the fat populace, it’s a big old fail. Quote: And frankly, her photo and message aren’t exactly “let’s get healthy” they’re “let’s get hot”… > [@](#): > > Again did she say that, or are those words in quotes something you added in on your own? And for that matter, is “getting hot” a bad thing? This goes to what I say above. You don’t seem to understand that all that is said by someone doesn’t to be written down, or spoken aloud to STILL be a very clear message. As to the “getting hot” I explained that very clearly (and posted an example below). For most people, they’re not going to be a 10 no matter how many hours a day they spend in the gym. And that’s discouraging, NOT inspirational as she claims her ad was supposed to have been. Quote: Case in point, VERY thin woman… > **[Sandra Bernhard | Actress, Writer, Music Department](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000928/)** > > Known for: The King of Comedy, Hudson Hawk, Without You I'm Nothing Her? [http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/ori...y.jpg?skj2io4l...Your](http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/ori...y.jpg?skj2io4l...Your) link didn’t work, so I have no clue if it’s the same woman I linked to. > [@](#): > > She’s a solid 9/10 overall , handicapping for her age at the time (late 30s then) a 10/10. Yes, guys are attracted to a great body. But her FACE! The woman has a face that could stop a clock and not in a good way. At any rate, I’ll give you this, whether by design, or unintentionally, you are a champion at missing the point. Ms. Kang is absolutely gorgeous in the face, and her skin (all over, including her stomach) is flawless. A lot of women who have babies, no matter how slim they become afterward are NOT going to look like that in a skimpy outfit. They have stretch marks and often, loose puckered skin in the tummy area. And as to people who were/are extremely obese, they’re going to have the same skin problems (loose skin, many stretch marks) all over their bodies. NO amount of exercise is going to get them to the same caliber as Ms. Kang’s photo. And nothing is going to help poor butter face girls. So the whole (PARAPHRASING UNSPOKEN MESSAGE OF PHOTO HERE) “you should be hot like me, what’s your excuse” thing is very off-putting in ways other than it’s supposed “you can be fit too” message. She’s fostering an image of “hot” that we all should aspire to (in her mind) but that not many have a chance of attaining, gym or no gym. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/155 "2013-10-25T03:58:53Z")
> [@Sleel](#): > > You and other people who have said this are making assumptions that don’t match reality. Most people who work as trainers don’t get much time to work out themselves. I’m internet friends with a couple of people who work in fitness. One owns a gym, the other does training at a couple of different facilities. > > They’re both sleep-deprived (huge negative impact on health and fitness, especially recovery) because they have to get up at 04:00 or 05:00 for early clients. They might be in the gym for 12–14 hours, but virtually never have time to work out unless they explicitly schedule it … and then they still get interrupted sometimes because a client is training and has a question, or some business-related crisis comes up, or someone pukes in the bathroom, etc. They often can’t eat regular meals because lunch breaks and just before or just after dinner are peak busy times. > > Even fitness gurus like Robb Wolf have said flat-out that running a gym was deleterious to his health, and had a disastrous effect on his fitness. This is the only online comment I can find right now, but he has mentioned the problems gym owners and trainers have in following their own advice several times on the Paleo Solution podcast: > > Just because her job is fitness-related doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her to keep fit. Yes, I guess my experience is a bit skewed because I was just an instructor, so almost all of my fitness related job experience was actually in working out. The one exception was my beginning weight training class, where I was doing more demonstration and a lot less of a workout. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/156 "2013-10-25T04:05:41Z")
> [@Sleel](#): > > You and other people who have said this are making assumptions that don’t match reality. Most people who work as trainers don’t get much time to work out themselves. I’m internet friends with a couple of people who work in fitness. One owns a gym, the other does training at a couple of different facilities. > > They’re both sleep-deprived (huge negative impact on health and fitness, especially recovery) because they have to get up at 04:00 or 05:00 for early clients. They might be in the gym for 12–14 hours, but virtually never have time to work out unless they explicitly schedule it … and then they still get interrupted sometimes because a client is training and has a question, or some business-related crisis comes up, or someone pukes in the bathroom, etc. They often can’t eat regular meals because lunch breaks and just before or just after dinner are peak busy times. > > Even fitness gurus like Robb Wolf have said flat-out that running a gym was deleterious to his health, and had a disastrous effect on his fitness. This is the only online comment I can find right now, but he has mentioned the problems gym owners and trainers have in following their own advice several times on the Paleo Solution podcast: > > Just because her job is fitness-related doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her to keep fit. Yes, I guess my experience is a bit skewed because I was just an instructor, so almost all of my fitness related job experience was actually in working out. The one exception was my beginning weight training class, where I was doing more demonstration and a lot less of a workout. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/157 "2013-10-25T04:35:15Z")
> [@Hakuna\_Matata](#): > > I wonder if people feel the same way about this guy as the woman in this thread? > Aren’t there strong parallels? > > [http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html](http://joshsundquist.com/photos.html) This guy is awesome! I particularly love is partially-eaten gingerbread man costume. > [@CanvasShoes](#): > > When I say “her message” I am talking of the unspoken message implied in the photo and caption. … THAT is what I’m talking about when I say the message WRT Ms. Kang’s photo ad. It’s very like a dirty look. Only it’s an unspoken critical bit of bitchiness. > > \ > > You don’t seem to be understanding that she doesn’t have to have literally SAY those exact words for the unspoken message to be very clear. The word “message” doesn’t only mean the written or spoken word. What I’m talking about is the combination of her photo and that caption sends a very clear unspoken message of just the things I’ve been describing above. > > \ > > No, the actual literal word “fatties” doesn’t appear on her ad, but the way her photo is put together with the snarky caption is a clear message sent to people… > > \ > > And frankly, her photo and message aren’t exactly “let’s get healthy” they’re “let’s get hot” Listen to yourself. This is the message you chose to take away from it. Please stop projecting your butthurt onto this woman. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/158 "2013-10-25T04:40:36Z")
It’s a dumb inspirational fitness meme. There are a skrillion. People are way too worked up over this. I say this as someone who has a lot more experience with Doritos than with treadmills lately. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/159 "2013-10-25T04:59:36Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Listen to yourself. This is the message you chose to take away from it. Please stop projecting your butthurt onto this woman. Yeah, I’m just crushed that I, an old granny, can’t be a super fitness model. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010/160 "2013-10-25T05:08:12Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Did you find the Nike, “Just do it!” campaign antagonistic? No, but “second place is the first loser”? Ugh, yeah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fit-mom-posts-facebook-pic-along-with-her-3-kids-asking-whats-your-excuse-firestorm-ensues/672010.md?page=9)