# Five dorky questions. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833 "2002-04-04T18:35:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/1 "2002-04-04T18:35:19Z")
1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? 2. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people (no, they’re not real people)? 3. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? 4. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? 5. What’s your theme song? Me: 1. Well, gee… looks-wise, I’d say J.Lo’s probably the best match, but I’d settle for Halle Berry… 😛 2. If the mom (Lorelei) from _The Gilmore Girls_ were a real person, we’d get along famously. My own mother can’t stand to watch the show, because she thinks Lorelei is such an idiot. I haven’t bothered to tell her that Lorelei is my Doppelganger (except I don’t have a teenage kid). 3. Dolly Parton and, um… Celine Dion. 4. _Do You Think She’s Been Licking Those Little Stamps?_ A poignant look at the life of a perpetually happy child in a family of grumps. 5. _Love and Happiness_–Al Green Your turn. ---
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/2 "2002-04-04T18:40:52Z")
1. Brad Pitt- Cuz he sort of looks like me…kind of 😉 2. The teenage cast of _Freaks & Geeks_ 3. Justin Timberlake 4. Reefer Madness!- Just Say No!! 5. Rock Lobster 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/3 "2002-04-04T18:43:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fingolfin \* > \*\*2. The teenage cast of _Freaks & Geeks_ > \*\* Oh yeah, that’s right! You’re the Front Parking Lot dude! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![igotit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@igotit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/igotit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/4 "2002-04-04T19:13:29Z")
1. I would play me. Reason being, I haven’t met and or seen a movie star that comes close to acting or looking like me. 2. Joan Cusack and John Cusack 3. John Travota 4. “The Not so Perfect Mom Show” A show of the trials and tribulations of single parenthood. 5. _Meet Virginia_ by train ---
**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/5 "2002-04-04T19:26:29Z")
1. It’s a toss up. Either Bill Goldberg cause he looks like me (scary, I know) or Anthony Hopkins because he thinks like me. 2. Peter Venkman from the Ghostbusters, Druss the Legend from the David Gemmel series of the same name, no 6 from the Prisoner. 3. Cameron Diaz (seen alot of interviews with her and she’s cool) Robbie Williams (a friend of mine sold him some art and went for coffee with him and she reckons he is a truly nice guy). 4. 'Shooting Bullies in the head: necessary evil or necessarily good? ’ 5. Either “I am the one and only” or “Eye of the Tiger”. God I love being me 🙂 and you should love being you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/6 "2002-04-04T20:40:02Z")
These are fantastic questions! And as such, they require a good deal of contemplation. I simply cannot throw something together right away. Plus, this is good conversation fodder for my car trip to Vegas tomorrow. I’m going to mull these over and post answers in a bit. Good idea! ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/7 "2002-04-04T20:50:05Z")
1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? Rosie O’Donnell. My students are constantly telling me how I look like her. I’m okay with that, I guess. 2. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people (no, they’re not real people)? Pacey, Lex, Jake Pratt, Rory, Willow…geez, I should really change the channel occasionally. 3. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? Jay Leno, Burt Reynolds, Hugh Hefner 4. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? “Prozac for Pollyanna” 5. What’s your theme song? I don’t know why I chose this, but it was te first thing that came to mind: _It Ain’t Easy Being Green_ ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/8 "2002-04-04T20:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > \*\* > Plus, this is good conversation fodder for my car trip to Vegas tomorrow. > \*\* Vegas tomorrow? Gonna see Tom Jones? ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/9 "2002-04-04T20:56:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > **Rosie O’Donnell. My students are constantly telling me how I look like her. I’m okay with that, I guess.** I say it’s OK as long as you do not _sound_ like Rosie O’Donnell. For some reason her voice just GRATES. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Pacey, Lex, Jake Pratt, Rory, Willow…geez, I should really change the channel occasionally.\*\* _Doing one-woman conga in office_ Pacey Pacey Pay-CEE! Pacey Pacey Pay-CEE! I love Pacey. Looooooove Pacey. And as for changing the channel, Hon, you gotta keep your hand in, so you’ll have stuff to talk about with your students! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/10 "2002-04-04T21:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > I say it’s OK as long as you do not _sound_ like Rosie O’Donnell. For some reason her voice just GRATES. Don’t sound a thing like her. I sound like a mix between Scarlett O’Hara and a valley girl. I use “like” a lot, surrounded by sayings like, “Well, I’ll be” and “Well, you just don’t say!” > [@](#): > > I love Pacey. Looooooove Pacey. > > And as for changing the channel, Hon, you gotta keep your hand in, so you’ll have stuff to talk about with your students! 😉 Exactly!!! We catch up everyday on what’s happening on “our shows”. We relate the characters, plots, and archetypes to class… it’s necessary for my job, I tell ya!! Pacey and Spike could be my “friends” anyday. Oh yeah, and Tony Soprano. He could be my “friend” too. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/11 "2002-04-04T21:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > > 1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? Me, because I’ve always wanted to be a teevee celebrity. 🙂 > [@](#): > > 1. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people (no, they’re not real people)? Depends – are cartoon super-heroes allowed? > [@](#): > > 1. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? Pass. Too confusing to answer. > [@](#): > > 1. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? **An American Geek** > [@](#): > > 1. What’s your theme song? _Dare to be Stupid,_ by “Weird Al” Yankovic. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/12 "2002-04-04T21:17:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > \*\*We catch up everyday on what’s happening on “our shows”. We relate the characters, plots, and archetypes to class… it’s necessary for my job, I tell ya!! > \*\* You sound a lot like me when I taught HS kids. I don’t teach anymore ☹ , so I tried to satisfy my teaching jones by claiming a 14-year-old kid I found on the street. 😛 Didn’t work–he doesn’t watch any of the right shows. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/13 "2002-04-04T22:10:20Z")
re: Vegas. Not Tom Jones. But Paul McCartney. Boyfriend would say he could do a spot on immitation of TJ singing “What’s New, Pussycat?”. He’d be wrong… ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/14 "2002-04-04T22:19:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > \*\*Boyfriend would say he could do a spot on immitation of TJ singing “What’s New, Pussycat?”. He’d be wrong… \*\* I hope to GOD he’s wrong! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/15 "2002-04-04T22:43:57Z")
1. Kathy Bates-She’s around my age and we aren’t totally dissimilar in looks. 2. Susan Ivanova(Claudia Christian) and Vir Cotto(Stephen Furst) 3. Got to agree with **shrew** on this one, Jay Leno. 4. “Not What I’d Planned on-The Baker Story” 5. The Impossible Dream ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/16 "2002-04-04T22:49:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*1. Kathy Bates-She’s around my age and we aren’t totally dissimilar in looks. > > 1. Susan Ivanova(Claudia Christian) and Vir Cotto(Stephen Furst) > > 2. Got to agree with **shrew** on this one, Jay Leno. > > 3. “Not What I’d Planned on-The Baker Story” > > 4. The Impossible Dream \*\* Baker! YAAAAAAAAAY! You’re here! Sorry I haven’t emailed–I’ve been hung up here, and also checking out seminars and classes on mapping software (my boss wants me to become well-versed in this crap, in case he gets hit by a bus). I’m hoping I’ll get to go somewhere out of town, stay in a hotel, and eat tasty food… but I’m guessing I won’t get that lucky. Anyway, thanks again for the coffee, and I don’t think you look like Kathy Bates. For one thing, every time I picture her, she’s swaddled in Saran Wrap. Of course, that might be a good look for you, given your profession…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/17 "2002-04-04T23:02:09Z")
1. Barbara Stanwyck. Or Lisa Kudrow. Look sorta like me, and I think could act me pretty closely. And I think they’re cool! 🙂 2. Janice from _The Muppet Show_, Sydney Wade from _The American President_…can’t think of any more right now. 3. Kate Winslet 4. Believe In Yourself (yeah it’s corny and motivational, but I like it) 5. “Take on Me” by Ah-Ha. I just like it. ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/18 "2002-04-05T01:08:17Z")
\*\*1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? \*\* [ul][li]Absolutely, Tom Baker. Care for a Jellybaby™?[/ul][/li]\*\*2. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people (no, they’re not real people)? \*\* [ul][li]Ned Flanders, Danny Divito, and each of the three Charlie’s Angels.[/ul][/li]\*\*3. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? \*\* [ul][li]Tough one. I honestly can’t think of any.[/ul][/li]\*\*4. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? \*\* [ul][li]Sometimes the geek is right. (maybe a sequel to **rjung** ’s special) [/ul][/li]\*\*5. What’s your theme song? \*\* [ul][**The Submarine**](http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/83/2nu.html), by 2nu. Let’s just say my life can be very surreal.[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/19 "2002-04-05T01:14:25Z")
1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? Jason Lee. He looks nothing like me, his characters are nothing like me, I just think he’s really cool and could make me so as well. 1. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people (no, they’re not real people)? Ed and his friends from Ed. 1. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Pink 1. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? “Movie addiction…the $20 to $30 per week habit” 1. What’s your theme song? Matthew Good Band “Load me up” ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833/20 "2002-04-05T01:16:53Z")
1. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? **Valerie Bertinelli. She and I vaguely resemble each other, she’s close to my age, and she’s a decent actress.** 1. Which TV/movie characters would be your friends if they were real people ? **Father Mulcahey from “MASH”; Jim Rockford from “The Rockford Files”; Sofia from “The Golden Girls”.** 1. Which slightly cheesy celebrities do you secretly think have kind of nifty personalities? \*\* Wayne Newton, Charo, George Hamilton.\*\* 2. What would be the title/“issue” of your After School Special? **"Girls Can Play Little League, Too!"** (This would be an After School Special from the 1970’s before girls playing little league ball was commonplace.) 3. What’s your theme song? **"The Battle Hymn of the Republic".** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-dorky-questions/101833.md?page=2)