# Five little assholes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 17, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176 "2003-01-17T05:22:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/1 "2003-01-17T05:22:19Z")
I would love to see a reality show which follows the misadventures of these [five little ass maggots](http://www.austin360.com/statesman/editions/thursday/news_1.html) as they spend two years in prison. > [@](#): > > \*\*With their video camera rolling, five teenagers beat, kicked and laughed at a special education student as he waited at a bus stop, police said. Then, they said, the attackers “laughed hysterically” as they sped away. \*\* Apparently these jack-offs thought that it would be a really funny idea to gang up on a special ed kid and video tape themselves as they beat the crap out of him. > [@](#): > > **"They were looking for the weakest person to assault," [Austin police detective, Scott] Stanfield said. "That was their objective."** What fucking courage, what fucking wit. Fuck you, you little shit-stains. I hope you all pull trains in stir :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/2 "2003-01-17T06:00:36Z")
And, not only are they stupid–but they’re stupid, too! > [@](#): > > Stanfield said a clerk at the service station watched the attack and saw the group videotaping it. The clerk told authorities that at least one of the students had been in the store and that a video surveillance camera had likely recorded him. > > A campus police officer confirmed Klair’s identity from the store’s surveillance tape. > > Austin police officers went to Klair’s house, where they were given a videotape and learned about the other assailants. And this is the truly scary part. > [@](#): > > Chapman’s parents said late Wednesday that their son is an exemplary student who was about to begin interviews for college scholarships. > > “He’s just like any other kid,” David Chapman said. “He’s a good kid, and the truth will come out soon.” Uh huh. Your “good kid” is looking at two years in jail for selecting, stalking, and beating up a retarded kid. > [@](#): > > [Marques and Chris Berry] drew three other students into their plan, Stanfield said, and they all began scouring common areas of the campus for someone to beat up. The group observed at least four possible targets, he said, but those students either moved to more populated areas or got in their cars or on a bus. The mind boggles. er, actually, only the three 18-year-olds are facing jail time; the other two are in juvie detention ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/3 "2003-01-17T06:06:46Z")
I have an eighteen year old sister with cerebral palsy and it’s making me literally sick to my stomach thinking of this bullshit. How the fuck can people do something like to another human being with absolutely no provocation? I honestly believe if I had been there, I’d be facing jail time too… I don’t think I could stop myself from bashing one of the fuckwad’s heads into the pavement until it was a nice bloody smear. Christ, I hate people. ---
**Author:** ![SilentSpeak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SilentSpeak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SilentSpeak)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/4 "2003-01-17T06:06:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Chapman’s parents said late Wednesday that their son is an exemplary student who was about to begin interviews for college scholarships. > > “He’s just like any other kid,” David Chapman said. “He’s a good kid, and the truth will come out soon.” Wow… When(or if they do) zget the video tape, these jackasses will look like bigger jackasses… What a bunch of fucktards… ---
**Author:** ![Talluleh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Talluleh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talluleh)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/5 "2003-01-17T06:07:00Z")
As far as I am concerned the “parents” should be put in prison as well…watching the videotape on a repeat loop. When they can admit that they can admit that they raised a monster, parole may be considered… ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/6 "2003-01-17T06:12:40Z")
> [@](#): > > _DDG_ > er, actually, only the three 18-year-olds are facing jail time; the other two are in juvie detention Well maybe the juvies can spend a couple of years doing community service in a DD group home, preferably working as indentured servants, and having to do the most menial chores and serve the most inane and capricious whims that the residents can devise. And you’re right about that dad, the sociopath doesn’t fall far from the tree. I work with DD people for a living and this story strikes me very close to home. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/7 "2003-01-17T06:15:01Z")
> [@](#): > > from _Diogenes the Cynic_ > I would love to see a reality show which follows the misadventures of these five little ass maggots as they spend two years in prison. Agreed. I propose a title for this reality show – **Who Wants to be Caned (Daily)**. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/8 "2003-01-17T06:18:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Monstre_ > Agreed. I propose a title for this reality show – **Who Wants to be Caned (Daily)**. How about **Who Wants to be My Bitch?** ---
**Author:** ![Talluleh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Talluleh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talluleh)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/9 "2003-01-17T06:23:16Z")
preview is my friend… that was just one “when they can admit”, however asking them twice can’ hurt right?? Where is the smacky smiley when you need it? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/10 "2003-01-17T06:51:13Z")
One can only hope that that video keeps resurfacing in their lives for the next thirty years or so… “Oh, you’re engaged to _Donavan?_ Congratulations! Have you seen this swell video he made? You’ll love it. Good luck with that whole marriage thing.” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/11 "2003-01-17T08:15:43Z")
were my child to commit any such atrocity, i’d feel compelled to accompany them to their sentence, as the joint failure is woefully evident ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/12 "2003-01-17T11:05:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Larry Mudd** \* > “Oh, you’re engaged to _Donavan?_ Congratulations! Have you seen this swell video he made? You’ll love it. Good luck with that whole marriage thing.” \*\* I hate to say this, but in the small town I grew up in for some women, that apparently wouldn’t be grounds for ending the engagement. ☹ Man, I shouldn’t have opened this thread! It’s being back too many memories of being the best friend of the weakest kid in school. What arrogance! Superior?! Stronger?!! Better?!!! Yeah, right!:rolleyes: Way to prove it. Beat up someone who can’t fight back so you can justify how come you’re so smart/handsome/successful but still can’t get the girl of your dreams because she thinks you’re an asshole or because your parents won’t let you have everything you want.\* You, gentlemen, are assholes. You’re not strong. You’re weak, pathetic, sniveling little cowards who only do what’s easiest, not what’s right. Strength and courage is standing up someone bigger and stronger than you and saying, “This is wrong.” and taking the consequences. I was called a loser among other thigns for standing up for my friend, and for several years, I believed it. It didn’t matter; I stood up for her anyway. Twenty years later, I know I’m nowhere near the loser the kids who picked on her were. \*I realize what I wrote about the attackers’ motives is speculation. I’ve done a certain amount of that, especially while I was in high school because I needed to figure out why my friend kept being picked on and occassionaly beat up. If I’m wrong about the motive, I apologize. We now return to the rant in progress. My religious beliefs do not allow me to condemn you to hell. They don’t even allow me to pray that you experience what you have done to others, but right now, I’m _real_ tempted. I’m supposed to have love for you, but right now, I have only contempt. I’ll repent later. For now, well, I won’t even waste a “Fuck you!” on you because, frankly, you’re not worth it. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Consuela\_Bobuela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Consuela\_Bobuela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Consuela_Bobuela)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/13 "2003-01-17T11:54:07Z")
> [@](#): > > My religious beliefs do not allow me to condemn you to hell. They don’t even allow me to pray that you experience what you have done to others, but right now, I’m _real_ tempted. I’m supposed to have love for you, but right now, I have only contempt. I’ll repent later. For now, well, I won’t even waste a “Fuck you!” on you because, frankly, you’re not worth it. > > CJ \*\* I have no religious beliefs so let me condemn them. To the nearest adult prison where they will wish they were in hell, as they are passed around like sweat covered coins for a pack of Marlboros. Better that they resist at first, so that they will be beaten into submission by Big Earl, the 300 pound ex marine and his “good buddy” Jake the Jackhammer. No mercy for these animals. Jamie ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/14 "2003-01-17T12:21:14Z")
The parents of these inhuman walking pap smears boggle my mind. Why do these people breed? Is there no way to stop it? ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/15 "2003-01-17T12:50:51Z")
Why on Earth did they videotape it? How fucking stupid. Beating up a retarded kid is bad enough, but videotaping it. Stick them in jail if, for nothing else, so they won’t reproduce. Fucking dipshits. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/16 "2003-01-17T13:03:48Z")
Jesus christ people. I know what the dad said is pretty zany, but these kids were old enough to know exactly what they were doing. Their parents were not there. What the fuck were they supposed to do about it? I am not saying that they were surely great parents, but there is nothing in here that says that they were bad parents. If you are going to blame the parents for the crimes of there children then why not blame the parents-parents for raising these guys parents so poorly that they ended up raising their kids to be fuckups? Or the great grand parents? This is the shitclown kids fault and no one elses. Deal with it and stop trying to “rationalize” why it happend. Kids go bad. It’s a fact of fucking life. It can’t be prevented all the time by “great parenting”. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/17 "2003-01-17T13:57:55Z")
Well, I think the “parenting failure” here is not so much of a “failure to supervise activities closely”, because you’re right, they were 17 and 18, too old for Mommy to keep track of what they’re doing every minute. But I think it was more of a general “parental failure” thing–failure to teach, if not respect for those lesserly-enabled, then at least pity. Persons who reach adulthood without having mastered the concepts of pity, and mercy, could be said to have experienced a “teaching failure” at some point. OTOH, I agree that it’s wrong to blame parents automatically for every bad thing that their kids do, otherwise we’d be blaming the Holocaust on Mr. and Mrs. Schickelgruber. Sometimes kids just go off the deep end, and shoot up their school, or poison a romantic rival with cyanide, or fly a Cessna into the side of an office building in Tampa, or put pipe bombs into mailboxes, and it isn’t fair to stand the parents up against the wall and shoot _them_ for it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/18 "2003-01-17T14:02:40Z")
**stinkpalm** , it’s not that we’re blaming the parents for what the kids did, necessarily, it’s that at least one dad did not seem to see anything _wrong_ with what they did. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/19 "2003-01-17T14:55:06Z")
Yeah, I think I would feel better if the parents shared the community’s sense of shock and outrage. Or, Mom and Dad, if you feel uncomfortable saying bad stuff about your kid in public, how about saying NOTHING AT ALL?!? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176/20 "2003-01-17T15:34:17Z")
**Cranky** , I agree. If I talked to the press (unlikely) should my own child get into major trouble, it wouldn’t be to say what a good kid he is, despite any lawyerly proddings. I’d like to think I’ve taught my son and step-daughter more personal responsibility, and if they’re guilty of anything, then they will pay the price. As I preach at home, there are no technicalities on right and wrong. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-little-assholes/149176.md?page=2)