# Five Things We Learned From The Eliot Spitzer Sex Scandal **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458 "2008-03-15T16:00:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/1 "2008-03-15T16:00:10Z")
On WOR Radio This Morning: 1. Smart People Do Some Stupid Things. 2. It’s Cruel To Make The Wife Stand By You. 3. Straight Arrows Are The Easiest To Bend. 4. PAY CASH! 5. Never Bet Against The Black Blind Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/2 "2008-03-15T16:45:01Z")
Somewhere in New York, Customer #8 is breathing a sigh of relief at how he dodged the bullet. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/3 "2008-03-15T16:57:41Z")
Ditto for customer #10 ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/4 "2008-03-15T17:47:58Z")
My understanding was that he _did_ pay cash. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/5 "2008-03-15T20:37:39Z")
It’s a bad idea to move money around in increments greater than $1000, unless you can directly link it to retail purchases or mortgage payments. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/6 "2008-03-15T22:04:49Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Never Bet Against The Black Blind Guy. [/QUOTE] He set Spitzer up as part of a bloodless coup? Well, there’s no proof to the contrary … ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/7 "2008-03-16T13:52:01Z")
[QUOTE= Annie X-Mas] Never Bet Against The Black Blind Guy. [/QUOTE] This Christmas, in theaters near you: From the people that brought you Rutger Hauer in BLIND FURY! and the people that brought you Wesley Snipes in PASSENGER 57! A Michael Bay production of a Parker House Film Directed by Kevin Smith and Michael Bay STEVIE WONDER TIMOTHY OLYPHANT ALAN RICKMAN and JAMES EARL JONES [sub]agh- i can’t do it…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/8 "2008-03-17T12:28:36Z")
Oh Come On! With a title like that, it’s just begging for …& Starring Samuel L. Jackson as the Black Blind Guy ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/9 "2008-03-17T12:44:09Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] It’s a bad idea to move money around in increments greater than $1000, unless you can directly link it to retail purchases or mortgage payments. [/QUOTE] Actually, the dollar amount is inconsequential. The computer models look for suspicious patterns, and don’t have a threshold for amount. If you try to move $4000 by buying thousands of 99-cent money orders, your transaction will be flagged. Every transaction is examined, so when you use a credit card to buy a slurpee and hot dog at the 7-11, sophisticated algorithms evaluate the transaction and report to the government as necessary. We did learn, however, that if you want to give your buddies on Wall Street at $200 billion bailout, do it while everybody is distracted by a sex scandal. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/10 "2008-03-17T12:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Somewhere in New York, Customer #8 is breathing a sigh of relief at how he dodged the bullet. [/QUOTE] Not really. If the Feds go after Spitzer, they’ll have to go after #8 (and the others) to avoid charges of selective prosecution. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/11 "2008-03-17T14:22:16Z")
What did we learn from the Spitzer sex scandal? Nominative determinism still rules! (“Spitzer”…? \) Er, let me start again. What did we learn from the Spitzer sex scandal? A sex scandal is a great way to distract the media and the masses from what’s really going on, especially if the accused actually did it. [sub]So, what _is_ really going on? I don’t know! I was distracted![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/12 "2008-03-18T05:26:57Z")
[QUOTE=Danalan] Every transaction is examined, so when you use a credit card to buy a slurpee and hot dog at the 7-11, sophisticated algorithms evaluate the transaction and report to the government as necessary. [/QUOTE] I heard about this on NPR, and how Spitzer, as an elected official, was under even more scrutiny than usual. I can’t BELIEVE knowing that anytime you make a transaction your bank deems “suspicious” you will be reported to the IRS doesn’t freak more people out. Talk about Big Brother. Nice to know my bank works for the government. It makes me want to move to Switzerland. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/13 "2008-03-18T07:16:47Z")
- The CBC will lavish time and reportorial resources on a visit to a prostitute by the administrator of a foreign sub-national entity. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/14 "2008-03-18T15:53:25Z")
1. Even guys with hot wives will cheat. 2. _Schadenfreude_ is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe. 3. Irony knows no bounds. 4. It’s not cool to pay for sex. 5. There are plenty of safer ways to pass the time - philately, for instance. ---
**Author:** ![Vorpal\_Blade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@Vorpal\_Blade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vorpal_Blade)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/15 "2008-03-18T16:14:51Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] …unless you can directly link it to retail purchases … [/QUOTE] I understand that they _were_ retail purchases… ---
**Author:** ![dactylic\_hexameter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@dactylic\_hexameter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dactylic_hexameter)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/16 "2008-03-18T21:39:45Z")
**Elendil’s Heir** or, as I heard it, _spitzenfreude_ ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/17 "2008-03-18T21:57:37Z")
[QUOTE=bikebloke] I understand that they _were_ retail purchases… [/QUOTE] Wholesale surely. 😃 (I’ll just go stand in the corner now). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/18 "2008-03-18T23:13:58Z")
[QUOTE=bikebloke] I understand that they _were_ retail purchases… [/QUOTE] No no no… Spitzer was renting. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/19 "2008-03-19T22:29:02Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] … 5. There are plenty of safer ways to pass the time - philately, for instance. [/QUOTE] Well, he got close: philandering. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458/20 "2008-03-19T22:37:11Z")
Elendil’s Heir: > [@](#): > > 1. There are plenty of safer ways to pass the time - philately, for instance. Yeah, but philately got him nowhere. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-things-we-learned-from-the-eliot-spitzer-sex-scandal/441458.md?page=2)