# Five-Word Movie Review **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 4, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494 "2014-02-04T16:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/1 "2014-02-04T16:53:53Z")
Inspired by this thread: [Five Word Movie Reviews - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691883) I thought it might be fun to try it as a game. **The Rules** 1. Address three movies at a time, reviewing or describing each in just five words. Bonus points for wit, elegance and puns. 2. End your post with a genre, theme or descriptor (cowboy movies, Jimmy Stewart movies, movies with a color in the title, etc.) for the next poster. 3. If there are simulposts, the second-appearing poster need not redo his or her movies, but should repeat the ending genre, theme or descriptor of the first poster. If he or she doesn’t, the _next_ poster should repeat that genre, theme or descriptor, so that each one gets done eventually. 4. Genres, themes and descriptors may be repeated if there is at least one intervening different example. I’ll start… War movies: _Glory_ Soldiers suffer, win respect, die. _Breaker Morant_ Three Aussie officers get railroaded. _Patton_ Good Lord, what an ego! Next: Film noir. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/2 "2014-02-04T17:24:01Z")
Film noir. _The Maltese Falcon_ Fat man wants a bird. _The Big Sleep_ Hays Code changed the murder. _Double Indemnity_ Fred MacMurray’s a serial killer. Next: Madcap romantic comedies. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3 "2014-02-04T19:31:55Z")
Madcap romantic comedies: _Bringing Up Baby_ “Ohhh, David, a leopard!” _Philadelphia Story_ “My, but she was yar.” Super-hero movies ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/4 "2014-02-04T19:51:14Z")
Super-hero movies _Batman_ Pow! Wham! Bop! Holy camp! _Superman_ Look, up in the sky! _Fantastic Four_ How come Doom’s face’s visible? Next: Westerns ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/5 "2014-02-04T21:24:22Z")
Westerns _Django Unchained_ Jamie Foxx invents dynamite early _The Great Train Robbery_ That guy’s shooting at us! _The Lone Ranger_ Worst for Indians than smallpox Next: Science Fiction ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Ed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Just\_Ed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Ed)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/6 "2014-02-04T22:29:03Z")
**Science Fiction:** _The Blob_: Jello from space threatens consumption _Blade Runner_: Humans and replicants fighting destiny _Close Encounters of the Third Kind_: Music soothes the alien beast Next: **Comedy** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/7 "2014-02-04T22:51:54Z")
**Comedy:** _Happy Gilmore_ Golfer beats professional, gets girl. _It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World_ Crazy chase for a fortune. _Animal House_ Fraternity hijinks outrage the college. Next: **Musicals** ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/8 "2014-02-04T23:06:45Z")
Musicals _Singin’ In The Rain_ Lip sync saves true love. _Godspell_ Jesus clowns around New York. _Paint Your Wagon_ Two cowboys, one woman, music! Next: World War II ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/9 "2014-02-04T23:53:29Z")
_A Bridge Too Far_ Epic screwup by Allied brass. _Inglorious Basterds_ Far from history, but fun. _The Eagle Has Landed_ Bagging Churchill not that easy. Next: American Civil War ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/10 "2014-02-05T00:50:35Z")
**American Civil War:** _Gone with the Wind:_ Atlanta burns, flames Scarlett red. _Lincoln:_ Thirteenth Amendment, from House to theatre. _The Hunley:_ Makeshift submarine’s crew tries, dies. Next: **Tom Cruise films**. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/11 "2014-02-05T00:56:38Z")
_Taps_ Misled cadets can’t save school _Top Gun_ Navy pilots kick ass, man! _Born on the Fourth of July_ Vietnam no fun for grunts Next: Ahnuld films ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/12 "2014-02-05T01:10:06Z")
Conan the Barbarian: “the lamentation of the women” Kindergarden Cop: kindergardeners get the upper hand True Lies Arnold Swarzenegger dances the Tango! Next: Courtroom drama ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/13 "2014-02-05T01:10:39Z")
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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/14 "2014-02-05T02:31:52Z")
_A Few Good Men_ We CAN handle the truth! _The Verdict_ Ambulance chaser reaches for redemption. _Philadelphia_ AIDS ennobles young gay lawyer. Next: Cowboy movies. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/15 "2014-02-05T02:37:44Z")
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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/16 "2014-02-05T03:12:42Z")
Cowboy movies: _Silverado_: Remember when Costner was good? _Unforgiven_: Ends in metatextual shoot out. _The Magnificent Seven_: It was better with samurais. Next: Vampire movies ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/17 "2014-02-05T03:18:39Z")
_Twilight_ Sparkly vampires? Gimme a break. _The Lost Boys_ A rather different youth gang. _Dracula_ Langella is young, sexy, scary. Next: Jimmy Stewart movies. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/18 "2014-02-05T03:23:33Z")
Jimmy Stewart movies. _Harvey_ Nice guy and his pooka. _The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance_ Well, it wasn’t Jimmy Stewart. _Vertigo_ Kim makes his head spin. Next: Mel Brooks films ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/19 "2014-02-05T03:52:08Z")
_The Producers_ Hitler conquers Broadway - no, really! _Blazing Saddles_ Deliriously funny; definitely not P.C. _The History of the World, Part I_ Swing and a (historical) miss. Next: Movies with a color in the title. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Ed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Just\_Ed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Ed)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/20 "2014-02-05T04:06:56Z")
**Colors** : _The Green Mile_: Sorrowful giant sacrifices; affects all _A Clockwork Orange_: Milk bar, mayhem, redemption, relapse _Pitch Black_: Alien creatures can’t beat Diesel Next: **Stephen King adaptations** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=2)