# Five-Word Movie Review **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 4, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494 "2014-02-04T16:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 159
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3162 "2026-06-29T13:19:24Z")
_Beauty and the Beast_ My god, she can’t sing! _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_ High school kid befriends newcomer. _Little Women_ Girls navigate war, poverty, death. **Movies with fireworks** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3163 "2026-06-30T03:20:36Z")
_1776_ Adams exults at American independence _Return of the Jedi_ Yay, Emperor Palpatine snuffed it! _Toy Story_ Buzz, Woody almost blown up Next up: **Movies which could’ve used some fireworks, but didn’t have 'em** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3164 "2026-07-01T13:34:27Z")
_The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King_ I guess Saruman just … disappeared? _The Dark Knight Rises_ Bane is just gone. Bye. _Slumdog Millionaire_ Do Bollywood numbers have fireworks? **Movies about soccer (Association Football)** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3165 "2026-07-01T15:55:02Z")
_Victory_ Germans versus POWs in Paris _Shaolin Soccer_ Soccer and martial arts? Win! _Bend It Like Beckham_ Girl defies family to play Next: **Baseball movies with Kevin Costner** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2026, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3166 "2026-07-02T16:12:39Z")
_Bull Durham_ Indignities of minor leage baseball. _Field of Dreams_ Dad, son reconcile through baseball. _For the Love of the Game_ Has-been pitches a perfect game. **Kevin Costner movies that aren’t about baseball.** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2026, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3167 "2026-07-02T17:37:34Z")
_Waterworld_ Mad Max on the waves _The Postman_ This guy doesn’t ring twice _Mr Brooks_ Daughter acquires dad’s special skill Next: **Westerns made after 2000** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2026, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3168 "2026-07-02T19:33:50Z")
_Appaloosa_ Lawmen Harris, Mortensen: both excellent _Hostiles_ Cavalryman, dying foe meet again _3:10 to Yuma_ Don’t miss that damn train! Next up: **Westerns made between 1969 and 1999** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2026, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3169 "2026-07-03T14:19:27Z")
_The Quick and the Dead_ Villain holds annual quick-draw contest. _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ Bank robbers fuck, flee, die. _Tombstone_ Say it: “I’m your huckleberry.” **Easily parody-able disaster films of the 60s and 70s** ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2026, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3170 "2026-07-03T21:30:12Z")
_Krakatoa, East of Java_ It’s actually west of Java "The Towering Inferno\* Sprinkler systems not yet invented? _The Poseidon Adventure_ Borgnine as the romantic lead!? **Horrible, horrible movies so bad they’re BAD!** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2026, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3171 "2026-07-04T17:38:59Z")
_The Room_ _Citizen Kane_ of bad movies _Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey_ Your childhood dies before you _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ So bad, we love it Next: **More awful movies** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2026, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3172 "2026-07-04T21:04:56Z")
NM - posting issues ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2026, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3173 "2026-07-04T21:51:43Z")
_Galaxina_ Like porn, but no sex _Billy Jack_ Great when I was eleven. _The Giant Claw_ Looked like a big marionette. **Awful musicals!** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2026, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3174 "2026-07-04T22:57:58Z")
_Cats_ I took the low-hanging fruit. _Xanadu_ It ruined a few careers. _Can’t Stop the Music_ It created the Razzie Awards! **More awful musicals.** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2026, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3175 "2026-07-06T14:00:17Z")
**More awful musicals.** _Grease 2_ Zero magic from the original. _Dear Evan Hansen_ Grown man portrays young boy. _A Chorus Line_ Changed focus from Broadway original. **Razzie Award Winners** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2026, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3176 "2026-07-06T14:17:29Z")
_Can’t Stop the Music_ Razzie’s first Worst Picture winner _Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace_ Ahmed Best: Worst Supporting Actor\* _Fifty Shades of Grey_ Won five of six nominations \*played Jar Jar Binks Next: **Movie titles beginning with “Can’t”** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2026, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3177 "2026-07-07T22:07:03Z")
_Can’t Buy Me Love_ Prototypical 80s teen sex romp. _Can’t Hardly Wait_ Prototypical 90’s teen sex romp. _Can’t Be Stopped_ Documentary about LA graffiti taggers **Blanking Blankie (Like Chasing Amy or Regarding Henry (don’t use either of those))** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3178 "2026-07-08T01:39:32Z")
_Driving Miss Daisy_ Tandy, Freeman, Aykroyd—cinematic gold! _Watching the Detectives_ Murphy, Liu, complicated romcom plot. _Waiting for Godot_ And waiting, and waiting, and … Next: **Romcoms starring Hugh Grant** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3179 "2026-07-08T03:15:58Z")
_Mickey Blue Eyes_ Grant falls for mafioso’s daughter _Two Weeks Notice_ Grant channels inner Donald Trump _Four Weddings and a Funeral_ How long before they’re together? Next: **Britcoms** ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3180 "2026-07-08T23:41:35Z")
_Withnail and I_ Richard Grant destroys the 60s. _The Ladykillers_ Little old lady checks gangsters. _The Mouse that Roared_ Grand Fenwick? It _could_ happen… **Hand-drawn animation released after TOY STORY 1** ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/3181 "2026-07-09T03:07:41Z")
_Winnie the Pooh_ Gone out. Busy. Back soon. _Lilo and Stitch_ Alien learns love and ohana. _The Princess and the Frog_ I love mah belle, Evangeline **Movies based on TV shows** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=158) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=160)