# Five-Word Movie Review **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 4, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494 "2014-02-04T16:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/541 "2014-03-18T16:35:37Z")
**Sigourney Weaver movies.** _Wall-E_ She voices the ship’s computer. \*Galaxy Quest/I] When did she get breasts? _Ghostbusters_ Gracious hostess to Zuul, right? Next: **John Candy movies** ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/542 "2014-03-18T23:07:19Z")
**John Candy movies** _Stripes_ “A lean, mean, fightin’ machine!” _Planes, Trains & Automobiles_ “My hand’s between two pillows…” _Uncle Buck_ “Did you brush your teeth?” Next: Famous actors in posthumously released films. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/543 "2014-03-19T04:39:41Z")
_Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow_ Olivier appeared via poor CGI. _Gladiator_ Oliver Reed counseled hero Maximus. _The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus_ Heath Ledger impersonated by others. Next: Tom Cruise movies before 1995. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/544 "2014-03-19T07:48:42Z")
**Tom Cruise movies before 1995:** _Risky Business:_ He’s a pimp, face it. _Cocktail:_ And where is it now? _Rain Man:_ He’s out-acted by Dustin Hoffman. Next: **John Cleese movies.** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/545 "2014-03-19T13:09:09Z")
_A Fish Called Wanda_ Barrister goes rogue; gets girl. _The Life of Brian_ Whistle just won’t stop stoning. _The Holy Grail_ Cleese: Frenchman with outraaaaaaageous accent. Next: Uma Thurman movies. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/546 "2014-03-19T15:24:28Z")
**Uma Thurman movies.** _Pulp Fiction_ “Was that an uncomfortable silence?” _Gattaca_ Show me your genes, please. _Kill Bill: Vol. I_ Desaturated colors! Curse you, MPAA!!! Next: Ethan Hawke movies. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/547 "2014-03-19T20:12:44Z")
**Ethan Hawke movies.** _Hamlet_ To be or not, Ethan? _Dead Poets Society_ The play’s the thing, Ethan. _Gattaca_ He’s not who he seems. Next: **Drew Barrymore movies.** ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/548 "2014-03-19T20:51:22Z")
**Drew Barrymore movies.** _Donnie Darko_ What the fuck’s going on? _Firestarter_ Evil government kidnaps pyromaniac girl. _Motorama_ Nobody’s EVER watched this. Pity. Next: Jake Gyllenhaal movies. ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/549 "2014-03-19T22:05:45Z")
\*\* Jake Gyllenhaal movies\*\* The Day After Tomorrow Surprisingly decent Roland Emmerich film. Source Code Truly heaven or an alternate timeline? Brokeback Mountain Pissed off many homophobes worldwide. Next: **Movies penned by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/550 "2014-03-20T01:03:00Z")
_Cowboys & Aliens_ High concept but dumb movie. _Star Trek_ Kirk, Spock venture forth again. _Mission Impossible III_ Ethan, wife need to talk. Next: Virginia Madsen movies. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/551 "2014-03-20T18:46:24Z")
\*\*Virginia Madsen movies. \*\* _Highlander II: The Quickening_ Should have been only one. _Hot to Trot_ Bobcat and talking horse? Awesome! _Sideways_ Wine snobs contemplate their lives Next: **Roddy Roddy Piper movies** ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/552 "2014-03-20T18:56:58Z")
**Roddy Roddy Piper movies:** **They Live!** Kicks ass and chews bubblegum! **Immortal Combat** Mortal Combat on Sci-Fi Channel **Terminal Rush** Not Joseph Gordon-Levitt bike flick **Remakes of 1980 scifi classics** ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/553 "2014-03-20T20:32:21Z")
**Remakes of 1980 scifi classics** Robocop Verhoeven’s greatest can’t be replaced. Star Trek into Darkness Remake of “Wrath of Khan”. Super 8 E.T. without Steven Spielberg’s magic. Next: **Remakes Of 1980’s Horror Classics.** ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/554 "2014-03-22T16:13:23Z")
**Remakes Of 1980’s Horror Classics.** _The Fog_ No Adrienne Barbeau; no good. _The Evil Dead_ No Bruce Campbell; no good. _The Howling: Reborn_ Never mind who; no good. Next: **Shirley Temple movies.** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/555 "2014-03-22T19:04:04Z")
_The Littlest Rebel_ She meets Lincoln, for chrissakes! _Heidi_ Forever notorious for football preemption. _A Kiss for Corliss_ Her last film, in 1949. Next: William Hurt movies. ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/556 "2014-03-22T19:53:16Z")
**William Hurt Movies** Lost in Space As dated as the show. Dark City A pure noir mind f\*\*\*. The Incredible Hulk There’ll never be a sequel. Next: **Edward Norton Movies** ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/557 "2014-03-22T21:14:09Z")
**Edward Norton Movies** _The People vs. Larry Flynt_ Real Flynt played hanging judge. _American History X_ Derek’s kind of a jerk. _Fight Club_ Don’t talk about this movie! Next: **Helena Bonham Carter movies.** ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/558 "2014-03-23T03:05:45Z")
**Helena Bonham Carter movies** _Sweeney Todd_ Hey, she doesn’t sing badly. _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II_ Never threaten a mother’s kids. _Fight Club_ Not directed by Tim Burton. Next: **Movies with dragons** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/559 "2014-03-23T04:49:39Z")
_The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug_ Plucky Bilbo almost gets crisped. _Reign of Fire_ Dragons rule over ruined England. _Eragon_ Sucky movie, critics unanimously said. Next: Movies with an “x” somewhere in the title. ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/560 "2014-03-23T08:52:34Z")
**Movies with an “x” somewhere in the title.** The Fox and the Hound Some friendships deteriorate over time. Jason X Should’ve stopped at the first. Rumble in the Bronx Jackie Chan takes on Canadians. Next: **Movies Scored By John Williams.** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=29)