# Five-Word Movie Review **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 4, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494 "2014-02-04T16:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 34
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/661 "2014-04-22T03:28:38Z")
_Top Gun_ Val, Tom exchange ambiguous glances. _Red Heat_ Ahnuld in a sauna towel. _Cruising_ Pacino is, er, undercover cop. Next: Penelope Cruz movies. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/662 "2014-04-22T03:40:42Z")
\*\*Penelope Cruz movies. \*\* _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide_ Blackbeard’s daughter is Jack’s love. _G-Force_ Even sexy as a hamster. _Gothika_ Raped in a mental hospital. Next: **Kurt Russell films.** ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/663 "2014-04-22T03:50:28Z")
**Kurt Russell films.** _Escape from New York_ 24 hours to locate President. _Silkwood_ Didn’t like Karen’s gay roommate. _Big Trouble in Little China_ God, this movie was stupid. Next: **John Carpenter films.** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/664 "2014-04-22T06:33:48Z")
**John Carpenter films:** _Halloween:_ Jamie Lee Curtis’ breakout role. _Christine_: Car loves owner; hates vandals. _Escape from LA:_ Kurt Russell again, and Buscemi. Next: \*\* Morgan Freeman films.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/665 "2014-04-22T13:42:17Z")
Driving Miss Daisy–Freeman as white woman’s chauffeur. The Shawshank Redemption–Freeman as white prisoner’s confidant. The Dark Knight Trilogy–Freeman as Batman’s gadget supplier. Next up: James Earl Jones films ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/666 "2014-04-22T13:53:12Z")
**James Earl Jones films** _Star Wars_ Heavy breathing makes the villain. _The Lion King_ His brother betrays him fatally. _Sneakers_ He’s conned by Robert Redford. Next: **Sally Field films** ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/667 "2014-04-22T13:57:59Z")
**Morgan Freeman films.** Lean on Me Shown in every school since. Glory Slaves die for their freedom. Bruce Almighty Perfect role for his voice. Next:\*\* Movies with narrations.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/668 "2014-04-22T14:18:16Z")
\*\* Movies with narrations.\*\* _Forrest Gump_ Something about boxes and chocolates… _Goodfellas_ Gangster, always wanted to be. _Bram Stoker’s Dracula_ Too many narrations – way confusing. Next: **Rock operas.** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/669 "2014-04-22T15:29:13Z")
Sally Field movies (remember to watch for any skipped categories, folks): _Lincoln_ Field great as Mary Todd. _Absence of Malice_ Naive reporter screws up badly. _Norma Rae_ Scrappy union organizer is unstoppable. Next: Rock operas. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/670 "2014-04-22T17:31:14Z")
**Rock operas:** _Tommy:_ Convoluted plot, but catchy songs. _Jesus Christ Superstar:_ Updated version of old story. _Pink Floyd’s The Wall:_ Troubled child becomes rock star. Next: **Big budget flops.** ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/671 "2014-04-22T19:44:00Z")
**Big budget flops.** _Jack and the Giant Slayer_ Budget! Effects! Cast! Characters! Flopparoo! _Cutthroat Island_ The editor is to blame. _Green Lantern_ Comic book fans lament continuously. Next: **Movies with gunfights.** ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/672 "2014-04-23T16:52:42Z")
**Movies with Gunfights.** My Darling Clementine Ford’s classic Wyatt Earp film. Batman Retro gun shot sound effects. The Matrix Computer hacker becomes virtual Jesus. Next: **Movies with Swordfights** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/673 "2014-04-23T17:04:31Z")
_Excalibur_ Arthur, knights swing swords energetically. _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ 'Tis but a flesh wound. _The Adventures of Robin Hood_ Epic swordfight on castle stairs. Next: Movies in which Quentin Tarantino “acts.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/674 "2014-04-23T18:45:46Z")
**Movies in which Quentin Tarantino "acts."** _Reservoir Dogs_ Deconstructs Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” _Pulp Fiction_ No “dead nigger storage” sign. _From Dusk Till Dawn_ Fleeing the law…oops, vampires! Next: **Juliette Lewis movies.** ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/675 "2014-04-23T18:54:00Z")
\*\*Juliette Lewis movies. \*\* _Natural Born Killers_ Awful people shoot awful people _Whip It_ Coming of age at Rollerderby _Strange Days_ Crazy drug in futuristic 1999 Next: \*\*Movies with Garret Dillahunt \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Roundabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@Roundabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roundabout)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/676 "2014-04-24T13:09:28Z")
**Movies with Garret Dillahunt** The Road Disturbingly bleak post apocalyptic movie. The Last House on the Left Rape and Revenge films suck. No Country for Old Men Better than most Coen comedies. Next: **Dragon Ball Z films** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/677 "2014-04-28T06:59:47Z")
Dragon Ball Z? What the hell is that? Some kind of something that Japanese fanboys get into? I would suggest that this thread is for more mainstream tastes. As such, I would suggest that our next category is: **Japanese films that have Western appeal:** _Godzilla:_ Giant lizard threatens Japanese homeland. _Godzilla vs. Megalon:_ Two monsters fight each other. _Kagemusha:_ A Japanese film, battles, deaths. Next: **American films (any kind).** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/678 "2014-04-28T07:22:49Z")
As an aside: I’m watching “Network” on DVD right now. I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more! It’s a good take on US network programming in the 1970s and 1980s. So what the hell is “Dragon Ball Z”? Some kind of kiddie cartoon show? Seriously, I think this thread should be limited to real movies, appealing to adults in North America and other modern Western countries, rather than Japanese kiddie cartoon shows. Thoughts, all? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/679 "2014-04-28T11:51:20Z")
_Thoughts? I think if you didn’t know or care for DBZ, you could simply have left it for someone else._ 😛 **American Films (any kind)** _Pacific Rim_ Hilarious send-up of kaiju films _Despicable Me_ Adorable animated antihero makes good _Night of the Living Dead_ Indie that changed horror forever **Next: 1980s action blockbusters** ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494/680 "2014-04-28T15:55:44Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > Seriously, I think this thread should be limited to real movies, appealing to adults in North America and other modern Western countries, rather than Japanese kiddie cartoon shows. Thoughts, all? Hey man, I had to sit out all those rounds with silent films and actors/actresses who’ve been dead for fifty years…though there’s clearly a greater density here of those fans as opposed to Japanese kiddie shows. In Play: **1980s action blockbusters** _Die Hard_ Next Christmas is the same. _Commando_ Bad guys can’t shoot jack. _Lethal Weapon_ Cop’s crazy, but he’s useful. Next: **Sci-Fi films before 1977** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=33) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-review/680494.md?page=35)