# Five Word Movie Reviews **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 24, 2013, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210 "2013-05-24T12:23:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/41 "2014-01-29T02:38:25Z")
**Cloud Atlas** Tom Hanks eventually gets it. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/42 "2014-01-29T02:40:57Z")
**Gravity** Space: the final frontier … OOPS! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/43 "2014-01-29T02:42:30Z")
**Iron Man 3** Better than the second one ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/44 "2014-01-29T02:43:44Z")
One’s a summary, one’s a review. Now I have to go back and see what I wrote last year. ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/45 "2014-01-29T03:44:41Z")
My all-time favorite was a 3 word review: **Titanic** Icy dead people ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/46 "2014-01-29T03:56:20Z")
**Star Trek: Generations** Shatner can do horse tricks. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/47 "2014-01-29T04:50:22Z")
**Inside Llewyn Davis** : Another Bob Dylan, he ain’t. **Captain Richards** : Oh look, the Davinci boat. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/48 "2014-01-29T05:21:08Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > My all-time favorite was a 3 word review: > **Titanic** > Icy dead people Nice. Mine was just one word, for _Xanadu_: Xanadon’t. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/49 "2014-01-29T19:20:30Z")
**Dark City** No daylight. Figure it out. **Thor** Aliens do Shakespeare, destroy town. **Thor 2** Aliens do Shakespeare, destroy spacetime. **Signs** These aliens are \*really \*stupid. **Iron Man** Terrorists cause crisis of conscience. **Iron Man 2** Doesn’t Doc Oc fight Spidey? **Iron Man 3** Fanboys rage, others, “a kid?” **Pride and Prejudice** Hottie cast as Darcy again. ---
**Author:** ![Osiris\_the\_1st](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9de0a6/32.png) [@Osiris\_the\_1st](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osiris_the_1st)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/50 "2014-01-29T20:27:35Z")
**Under the Dome** Same plot as _Simpsons Movie_. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/51 "2014-01-29T21:02:46Z")
_Looper_ Two dudes are really one. _Serenity_ Where’d the Reavers come from? _Star Trek Into Darkness_ A different kind of Khan. _The Butler_ Robin Williams as Ike? Ugh. _Nebraska_ Old fart, weary son bond. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/52 "2014-01-29T21:04:10Z")
**Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure** Two stoners meet George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/53 "2014-01-29T21:06:47Z")
**Spider-Man 2** Now Rhino is a Transformer **The Lego Movie** Ordinary guy saves brickish world **I, Frankenstein** Underworld ripoff worse without Beckinsale ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/54 "2014-01-29T21:13:21Z")
**X-Men: First Class** Jennifer Lawrence looks hot blue. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/55 "2014-01-29T21:18:12Z")
Casablanca: What a string of cliches! Airplane!: What a string of cliches! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/56 "2014-01-29T21:18:46Z")
Africa: The Serengeti Gazelle gives birth, calf walks (I work part time at a science museum, so I end up seeing a lot of Omnimaxes) ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/57 "2014-01-29T21:50:45Z")
**Frozen** Progressive, still all about marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2014, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/58 "2014-01-30T04:58:53Z")
_Dave_ He’s the President! (Not really). _Night at the Museum_ New guy finds his place. _All the President’s Men_ Woodward, Bernstein, Deep Throat - scandal! _Absence of Malice_ Reporter in over her head. _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ Lovable bandits’ luck runs out. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2014, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/59 "2014-01-30T05:31:16Z")
**Smokey and the Bandit** The Wages of Beer. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2014, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210/60 "2014-01-30T14:15:37Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > **Smokey and the Bandit** > > The Wages of Beer. :: psst :: That’s four words. Or are you just living up to your username? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-reviews/659210.md?page=4)