# Five-word movie summary game !! SPOILERS !! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985 "2002-08-08T16:32:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/1 "2002-08-08T16:32:58Z")
My bro and I have been playing this by email today. The exercise: sum up a movie, using _up to_ five words, punning if you can. **King Kong:** Big gorilla goes ape. **Jaws:** Toothmarks confound municipal disbelief. **Withnail & I:** Aspiring actors lose the plot. Anyone else care to participate? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/2 "2002-08-08T17:09:28Z")
Pulp Fiction: Of sequence killings out told ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/3 "2002-08-08T17:17:37Z")
Trainspotting - Heroin addict off the rails ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/4 "2002-08-08T17:30:55Z")
**Titanic** - Boat sinks - get over it. StG ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/5 "2002-08-08T17:42:42Z")
**Signs** : Sound, no fury, signifying nothing. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/6 "2002-08-08T18:31:59Z")
**Star Wars** : Cool stuff happens **The Empire Strikes Back** : Cooler Stuff Happens **Return of the Jedi** : Return of the Cool Stuff **The Phantom Menace** : Cool Stuff with Lame Jokes **Attack of the Clones** : More Cool Stuff, but Good **The Fellowship of the Ring** : The Essence of Movie ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/7 "2002-08-08T19:08:15Z")
For the Star Trek series: TMP: Old space probe causes problems TWOK: Old lunatic causes problems TSFS: Dead Vulcan must be found TVH: Get whales to help us TFF: Found God. Oops, wrong one TUD: Save Klingons or we die GEN: Crazy scientist yearns for past. FC: Help Cochrane start it all INS: Help pretty aliens defeat ugliness NEM: Send in the clones. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/8 "2002-08-08T19:20:28Z")
Blair Witch Project: Shit. Give my money back. * * * Oh, well. Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/9 "2002-08-08T19:39:51Z")
_The Usual Suspects_: Spacey is Keyser Soze. _O, Brother Whereart Thou_: Hilarious antics of escaped convicts. _Memento_: Trust your instincts…maybe. _American Pie_: Eventually, you’ll get laid. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/10 "2002-08-08T19:41:56Z")
[Here ya go.](http://www.rinkworks.com/movieaminute/) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/11 "2002-08-08T19:54:56Z")
Raising Arizona: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!! But seriously… Raising Arizona: Kidnapped kid kids with Cage. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/12 "2002-08-08T19:58:47Z")
**Rocky II** Lose, train, win **Rocky III** Lose, train, win **Rocky IV** Lose, train win **Hoosiers** Lose, train, win **Color of Money** Lose, train, win **Youngblood** Lose, train, win **Days of Thunder** Lose, train, win 99.9% of every sports movie ever made: Lose, train, win ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/13 "2002-08-08T20:20:11Z")
**Rudy:** Samwise joins the Fightin’ Irish. **Blazing Saddles:** Cowboys horse around. **All Woody Allen Films These Days:** Young woman gets a Woody. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/14 "2002-08-08T20:22:10Z")
Gone With The Wind: I don’t give a damn. Star Trek The Motion Picture: Where Nomad has gone before. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/15 "2002-08-08T20:36:28Z")
**The Crying Game:** Jay’s a girl’s name too ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/16 "2002-08-08T20:59:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*_The Usual Suspects_: Spacey is Keyser Soze. > \*\* Damnit! Some of us still haven’t seen that movie. Thanks just fucking lots, Juanita. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/17 "2002-08-08T21:11:31Z")
**The Mothman Prophecies** : The book sucks, too. **Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory** :Nice kid tours confectionary, inherits it. **Poltergeist** : Suburban family plagued by ghosts. **The Others** : They’re dead but don’t realize. **The Sixth Sense** : He’s dead but doesn’t realize. **Animal House** : Drunken Delta’s get their revenge. **Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone** : Magical British kid defeats villain. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/18 "2002-08-08T22:00:23Z")
**Alien** : Crew gets their asses kicked. **Aliens** : Marines get their asses kicked. **Alien3** : Prisoners get their asses kicked. **Alien: Resurrection** : You get the picture, already. ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/19 "2002-08-08T23:42:04Z")
**Amelie** : Funny French femme finds friendship **Swimming to Cambodia** : Silly, serious Spalding spins stories **The Color of Money** : Cruise crushes cues, captures championship ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985/20 "2002-08-08T23:50:50Z")
**Star Wars** : Luke says, “The Force rocks!” **Empire Strikes Back** : Vader asks, “Who’s yo’ daddy?” **Return of the Jedi** : Yoda says, “Kick his ass.” **Phantom Menace** : Vader-to-be says “Whoopeeeeee!” **Attack of the Clones** : Yoda talks, then kicks ass. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-word-movie-summary-game-spoilers/122985.md?page=2)