# Five year old's logic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2014, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388 "2014-03-23T21:48:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/1 "2014-03-23T21:48:43Z")
Five year old’s logic He answers the questions Q: What is this dam for ? A: Its for fish and sharks Q: There’s no fish or sharks here, so… what is it for ? A: Its to kill fish and sharks ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/2 "2014-03-23T22:09:48Z")
Smart kid. I never knew that. When Beavis and Butthead took a tour of the Hoover dam, they just kept asking the tour guide if it was a goddamn. My youngest comes up with crazy explanations for things sometimes too. Some of them even make a little a sense if you look at it from her perspective. My oldest is a different story. She is a little too literal sometimes. She mortified us when she was 5 by trying to use one of the home improvement display commodes in Home Depot for their obvious purpose right in front of everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/3 "2014-03-23T22:50:39Z")
I was four, at the O Club in Yokosuka, speaking Japanese to a dog outside the window. Mom: Johnny? Why are you speaking Japanese to that dog? Me: He’s a Japanese dog! ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/4 "2014-03-23T23:18:26Z")
A thumb is really your five-finger (count to five, starting with your index finger) Last week is more logically called yesterweek. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/5 "2014-03-24T02:33:03Z")
I teach youth program classes at a climbing gym. I asked a group of six-year-olds why they thought there was colored tape on the walls. One girl, in typical six-year-old stop-and-start rambling fashion, spluttered out an answer which ended with “so that way there will be colored tape on the walls.” Yes, darling. The colored tape is there so that there will be colored tape there. Very good. (It’s used to indicate different routes.) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/6 "2014-03-24T03:06:41Z")
Our three-year-old figured out the caps lock on Mommy’s computer lets you type out capital A, B, C, etc…and then he asked me, “But what about capital 1?” ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/7 "2014-03-24T03:09:31Z")
Since the meal served in place of both breakfast and lunch is called “brunch,” the meal served in place of lunch and dinner is called “linner.” Right? In order to keep the peace, I agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/8 "2014-03-24T03:12:19Z")
5 year-old kid. “Can we get two mice?” Parent: " I don’t think thats a good idea, the cats would try to eat them all the time." Kid thinks for 30 seconds: “Can we get 10 mice and give 8 to the cats so they will leave our 2 alone?” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/9 "2014-03-24T03:13:10Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Since the meal served in place of both breakfast and lunch is called “brunch,” the meal served in place of lunch and dinner is called “linner.” Right? > > In order to keep the peace, I agreed. In all fairness, I agree completely too. Why should it not be so? ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/10 "2014-03-24T03:14:40Z")
While playing [Mastermind](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mastermind_%28board_game%29): “What if you have the wrong color in the right place?” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/11 "2014-03-24T13:05:37Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Since the meal served in place of both breakfast and lunch is called “brunch,” the meal served in place of lunch and dinner is called “linner.” Right? > > In order to keep the peace, I agreed. > [@Shagnasty](#): > > In all fairness, I agree completely too. Why should it not be so? It could be “Lupper” too, but “Linner” is a logical name for that meal. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/12 "2014-03-24T14:08:42Z")
My daughter just turned three. Post-discipline discussions with her go like this: “Daddy smacked my butt!” “Why did he do that?” “Cuz he smacked my butt.” “I think you were being naughty. Why were you being naughty?” “Cuz daddy smacked my butt.” “No Mimi. You were naughty before daddy smacked your butt. Why were you being naughty?” “Cuz daddy smacked my butt and I cried.” “Okay. Tell me what you did that was naughty.” “I cried.” “And why were you crying?” “Cuz daddy smacked my butt.” ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/13 "2014-03-24T14:19:39Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > It could be “Lupper” too, but “Linner” is a logical name for that meal. We’ve been using the term for quite a few years in my household. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/14 "2014-03-24T20:18:14Z")
From my daughter, when she was 4: “There are cowboys and horse girls… I am going to be a Horse Girl, who is a ballerina at night, because Ballerinas only dance at night…” Not too sure where the Ballerinas only dance at night thing came from… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/15 "2014-03-25T00:17:30Z")
My friend and I were working in his basement when his 2 1/2 year old son came downstairs with tear filled eyes and his bottom lip sticking out a mile. “What’s the matter, Brooks?” I asked him and he replied, with righteous indignation, “Ashley (his 4 year old sister) hit me BACK!” I managed to keep a straight face and pointed him to where his daddy was working. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/16 "2014-03-25T00:38:36Z")
Look daddy! Stairs! No son. That’s an escalator. The steps are moving. Which way are they going? They’re going up! And where do they go when they get to the top? _Observes for a moment_ They go to the other side and come back down! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/17 "2014-03-25T04:25:16Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Our three-year-old figured out the caps lock on Mommy’s computer lets you type out capital A, B, C, etc…and then he asked me, “But what about capital 1?” There are upper-case and lower-case numerals, but they’re not called out as separate characters, just glyph variants. [Link to example.](http://blog.amyworrall.com/post/46329875785/core-text-and-upper-case-numbers) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/18 "2014-03-25T14:36:31Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Our three-year-old figured out the caps lock on Mommy’s computer lets you type out capital A, B, C, etc…and then he asked me, “But what about capital 1?” Similarly, when my kiddo learned to count, she was in the back of the car one day counting up to 10, and then counting backwards to 1. She did that a few times, then paused, then asked, “Daddy, how do you count side-to-side?” ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/19 "2014-03-25T18:28:20Z")
My now-6-year-old son still wears a shirt he got when he was four, which features a drawing of a dog wearing sunglasses. Like many of his shirts, it was christened with the name of what was pictured on it. (“Do want to wear T-rex today?” “Ooh, you’re wearing Shark!” etc.) This shirt was “Doggie with Two Noses.” Why? Well, obviously the dog has its own nose, of course. That’s one. And, as we all know, glasses sit across the bridge of your nose, so clearly the part where the dog’s glasses rest is a nose, too. Hence, “Doggie with Two Noses.” Q.E.D. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388/20 "2014-03-25T18:40:38Z")
Didn’t Snoopy in his Joe Cool (or was it Joe College) phase wear sunglasses? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/five-year-olds-logic/684388.md?page=2)