# Fix a Broken Lyric **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748 "2017-02-01T14:31:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_Bredin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@John\_Bredin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Bredin)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/21 "2017-02-02T17:37:47Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > _[There] **isn’t any** mountain high enough, > [There] **isn’t any** valley low enough, > [There] **isn’t any** river wide enough, > To keep me from you…_ Scansion [del]trumps[/del] supersedes grammar. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/22 "2017-02-02T21:18:31Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > _Life_ by Des’ree, generally considered the worst song ever. Holy crap are those lyrics bad. I’ve heard that song about a gazillion times and thought it was just a nice catchy little pop ditty. Never paid attention to the words. I kind of wish I hadn’t. “I’d rather have a piece of toast”? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/23 "2017-02-02T21:20:06Z")
> [@John\_Bredin](#): > > Scansion [del]trumps[/del] supersedes grammar. 🙂 “I Can’t Get Any Satisfaction.” Just doesn’t quite have the same ring, eh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/24 "2017-02-02T21:26:31Z")
Joan Baez’s _Diamonds and Rust_. change: \*And here I sit Hand on the telephone Hearing a voice I’d known A couple of light years ago Heading straight for a fall \* to: \*And here I sit Hand on the telephone Hearing a voice I’d known So many decades ago Heading straight for a fall \* or: \*And here I sit Hand on the telephone Hearing a voice I’d known I think it was eons ago Heading straight for a fall \* ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/25 "2017-02-02T21:52:08Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I think we could devote a whole thread to fixing that infamously clunky line from\* Jessie’s Girl\* > > Ya know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute > I wanna tell her that I lover her but the point is probably _moot_ > > . . .I wanna tell her that I love her from her bonnet to her boot > . . .It’s like my heart’s an open treasure chest and she stole all the loot > . . . When I see her my heart pounds like an Alaskan Malamute > Tell me any one of those would not be better than Mr. Springfield’s lyric 😛 …one of these days I’ll punch Jessie in the snoot ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/26 "2017-02-02T21:54:00Z")
How can she be loving Jesse? He’s such a galoot ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/27 "2017-02-02T22:42:50Z")
I’d change “comin’ at you like a dark horse” to “comin’ at you like a dark force”. But I fear a generation of teeny boppers are already misinformed on what an idiomatic “dark horse” is. ---
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/28 "2017-02-03T01:17:29Z")
Theme from Shaft “He’s a complicated man But no one understands him but his woman” Should be “so no one” or at least “and no one” ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/29 "2017-02-03T02:04:42Z")
You should mostly be ashamed of yourselves with these “corrections”. They are horrible. Did you ever consider the scansion? Or is it just about you? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/30 "2017-02-03T02:37:29Z")
_Shame, shame, shame. Shame of fools_ ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/31 "2017-02-03T02:42:16Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > Hate it when a word is rhymed with itself. A few fixes: > . One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight; Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other… Change to: One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead brothers had a fight; Back to back each faced his brother, Drew their swords and shot each other… ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/32 "2017-02-03T03:02:07Z")
"I’ve been filling up the empty space “Between you and me.” (Or, Between the two of us.) Either “I’m proud to be an American, because at least I know I’m free,” Or “I’m proud to be in America, where at least I know I’m free,” but “American” is not a location, and there is no “where” there. “You and I march to the beat of two different drums.” As written [“You and I march to the beat of a different drum”], it means that you and I march to a different drum from everyone else, but it’s the same one for you as for me. ---
**Author:** ![NuclearBombPop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@NuclearBombPop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NuclearBombPop)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/33 "2017-02-03T04:07:29Z")
Bruce Springsteen, Glory Days. “He could throw that speedball by you” has always irritated me. “Fastball” is the correct term and works in the same spot. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/34 "2017-02-03T05:15:27Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > _[There] **isn’t any** mountain high enough, > [There] **isn’t any** valley low enough, > [There] **isn’t any** river wide enough, > To keep me from you…_ > [@John\_Bredin](#): > > Scansion [del]trumps[/del] supersedes grammar. 🙂 So you say. What I say is “Get grammatical, anrd work from there to find scansion. If the song resists it, write a different song.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/35 "2017-02-03T07:33:10Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Holy crap are those lyrics bad. I’ve heard that song about a gazillion times and thought it was just a nice catchy little pop ditty. Never paid attention to the words. I kind of wish I hadn’t. “I’d rather have a piece of toast”? And it goes on. I actually went away and kept rewriting the whole rest of the song into something a bit more logical. Still lame, they only took me 20 minutes, but at least not quite so inept. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/36 "2017-02-03T10:32:18Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > So you say. What I say is “Get grammatical, anrd work from there to find scansion. If the song resists it, write a different song.” Dialect/Alternative grammar is often an essential part of the song’s lyrics: _Is you is or is you ain’t my Baby._ ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/37 "2017-02-03T12:02:07Z")
Billy Mack is a Texas detective You know he knows exactly what the facts are He’s got his eye on those two defectives He ain’t gonna let 'em get too far ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/38 "2017-02-03T12:47:26Z")
I’ve always thought that Free’s All Right Now had some of the clunkiest lyrics and silliest rhymes ever. > [@](#): > > There she stood in the street > Smilin’ from her head to her feet; > I said, “Hey, what is this? > Now maybe, baby, > Maybe she’s in need of a kiss.” Smilin’? Why not stylin’, smokin’, etc… street/feet, maybe/baby, this/kiss pretty simple but I always thought she was a street walker. > [@](#): > > I said, "Hey, what’s your name? > Maybe we can see things the same. > “Now don’t you wait, or hesitate. > Let’s move before they raise the parking rate.” Who talks like this, anyway? name/same, wait/hesitate are OK I suppose, but “parking rate”!? There’s nothing I’m worried about more when picking up is the parking rate but I’ve been missing something because apparently this can convince women to come home with you… right now! > [@](#): > > I took her home to my place, > Watchin’ every move on her face; > She said, “Look, what’s your game? > Are you tryin’ to put me to shame?” OK, sure… > [@](#): > > I said “Slow, don’t go so fast, don’t you think that love can last?” > She said, “Love, Lord above, > Now you’re tryin’ to trick me in love.” Now, this makes me wince every time. I can almost get past the Love/Above/Love rhyme but “trick me in love”? How about something like: Don’t try to tell me about love Tryin’ to put me in love Tryin to convince me of love Don’t talk to me about love I can do tricks with a dove It’s $100 or $50 for a half, love. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/39 "2017-02-03T14:34:39Z")
> [@Paula Cole](#): > > So open up your morning light And say a little prayer for I You know that if we are to stay alive And see the peace in every I How about: > [@](#): > > fucking a i really should mackdonna handheld shoehorn butterhorse. See, it’s _better_! ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/40 "2017-02-03T14:56:39Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I think we could devote a whole thread to fixing that infamously clunky line from\* Jessie’s Girl\* > > Ya know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute > I wanna tell her that I lover her but the point is probably _moot_ > > . . .I wanna tell her that I love her from her bonnet to her boot > . . .It’s like my heart’s an open treasure chest and she stole all the loot > . . . When I see her my heart pounds like an Alaskan Malamute > Tell me any one of those would not be better than Mr. Springfield’s lyric 😛 I wanna tell her that I love her like a monkey loves his fruit? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748.md?page=3)