# Fix a Broken Lyric **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748 "2017-02-01T14:31:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/41 "2017-02-03T15:07:57Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Dialect/Alternative grammar is often an essential part of the song’s lyrics: > > _Is you is or is you ain’t my Baby._ Yeah, I can’t tell if **kaylasdad** is joking or not. I assumed he was, but maybe not. “Ain’t” is a prefect fine word for a song and reflects how people actually talk. Something like “I Can’t Get Any Satisfaction” just sounds so clunky and laughable to me versus the dialectal “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction.” Your “Is You Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby” example is perfect. Compare with “Are you or aren’t you my baby?” That ain’t hip, cat. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/42 "2017-02-03T15:54:26Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > Journey’s - Don’t Stop Believin’ > > Strangers waiting > Up and down the boulevard > Their shadows searching in the night > Streetlight people > Living just to find emotion > Hiding somewhere in the night I prefer the lyric from north Detroit - Woodward Avenue, specifically. Strangers racing Up and down the boulevard Their tires turning in the night Streetlights turn green Punch the gas and let 'er roll Racing somewhere in the night ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/43 "2017-02-03T15:56:11Z")
I want Elton John’s “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” to go like this: _So unless they see the sky But they can’t and that is why They **don’t know** if it’s dark outside or light._ “know not” always struck me as stilted and annoying. Also, the Indigo Girls could _raise love to the power of two_. The extra syllables in “multiply” are unnecessary to make the line scan. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/44 "2017-02-03T19:17:31Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > I want Elton John’s “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” to go like this: > > _So unless they see the sky > But they can’t and that is why > They **don’t know** if it’s dark outside or light._ > > “know not” always struck me as stilted and annoying. > > Also, the Indigo Girls could _raise love to the power of two_. The extra syllables in “multiply” are unnecessary to make the line scan. Their degrees are in English and Religious Studies. They made a math error. It had nothing to do with the line scanning. They honestly thought they got the expression right. Also, “by the power of two” makes their double-entendre a little clearer. “Raise love to the power of two” doesn’t quite communicate the “Two people” meaning. And when two people are loving one another, love sort of does multiply. They just need an entirely new metaphor. Their “Galileo” song is all screwed up too, because they seem unaware of the fact that Galileo eventually recanted. They come up with a lot of good ideas like that, that don’t quite match reality, but it doesn’t stop them. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/45 "2017-02-03T21:17:21Z")
Fleetwood Mac, “When the rain waSHEZZ you clean, you’ll know” (from _Dreams)._ Nothing rainy is necessary. How about something like this? (Feel free to come up with something better.) Women, they will come and they will go When you find yourSELF alone you’ll know ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/46 "2017-02-03T21:45:48Z")
WasSHEZZ reminded me of a similar one. I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight has a weird one. The lyric is “Her diary it sits on the bedside table” but the singer pronounces it like Ms Morgendorfer: “Her Daria sits by the bedside table”. Where the heck does he get that? “Diary it sits” as written doesn’t fit the meter - too many syllables. “Her diary sits” does, but that isn’t how he pronounciates it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2017, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/47 "2017-02-04T14:51:04Z")
A Daisy a Day has this clunker: And the love that was more/than the clothes that they wore/could be seen in the gleam of his eye. I can’t begin to tell you what is wrong with that. And the love was more/than the life they adored/would live on when they both had died. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/48 "2017-02-05T12:14:32Z")
[“When You Get to Asheville”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RzhTN9zW3w) by Steve Martin and Edie Brickell has this lyric: _She won’t sleep in the house now She just listens for the sound Of your old eighty-four Ford Coming down the road_ Even Edie Brickell can’t rescue the awful sound of three mis-accented syllables in a row. It should say: _Of your eighty-seven Ford_ ---
**Author:** ![Clothes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clothes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothes)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/49 "2017-02-05T21:34:35Z")
_Louie Louie_. This beloved song was dashed off in a hurry, and sounds it. “Louie Louie, oh oh, me gotta go” - well it’s the “gotta” that’s gotta go - one too many syllables. Make it “and away I go”, and it fits and exudes oodles of cool. Aside from that, one reason people thought the Kingsmen’s version was filthy-dirty is no doubt due to wishful thinking, because if you could make out the real words (clearly sung by Richard Berry in his original B-side) the are frankly just too lame. Stuff like “Me see Jamaica moon above, it won’t be long me see me love”, done it a fake Caribbean patois, are embarrassing to contemplate, and nobody should feel obligated to stick to them. Iggy Pop had the right idea when he sang “she got a rag on, I move above, it won’t be long before I take it off … (garbled line about a rose or something) … her ass is black and her tits are bare”. Hey, that’s better. I bet you could make it even dirtier. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/50 "2017-02-06T19:16:23Z")
Did Douglas Adams ever find a fix for the ridiculous line in “Doe, a deer”: “La, a note that follows so”? I must admit I have tried and failed with that one. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/51 "2017-02-06T22:23:17Z")
> [@Clothes](#): > > _Louie Louie_. This beloved song was dashed off in a hurry, and sounds it. > > “Louie Louie, oh oh, me gotta go” - well it’s the “gotta” that’s gotta go - one too many syllables. Make it “and away I go”, and it fits and exudes oodles of cool. Don’t you _dare_ touch “Louie, Louie.” That song is perfect as it is and the quintessential rock song. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/52 "2017-02-07T00:31:41Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Did Douglas Adams ever find a fix for the ridiculous line in “Doe, a deer”: “La, a note that follows so”? I must admit I have tried and failed with that one. I think it’s “La, a note to follow so: ti I drink with jam and bread”-- it’s actually a second play on “so” as a function word. ---
**Author:** ![Clothes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clothes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothes)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/53 "2017-02-07T09:07:32Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Don’t you _dare_ touch “Louie, Louie.” That song is perfect as it is and the quintessential rock song. 🙂 I dare touch Louie Louie. I want the words to be as salacious as the tune suggests. “My little girl, she waits for me” is a good start. After that, all bets are off. It’s called the folk process. I don’t blame Richard Berry; he wrote a perfectly nice song in the doo-wop tradition with polite lyrics about a guy telling someone named Louie how much he misses his gal. He never expected it would take off among Seattle teens and get revved up by the likes of the Sonics and Paul Revere and the Raiders, and ultimately the Kingsmen whose distorted and slurred take became a national scandal. At which point it became something completely different, and I say anyone who dares is free to go full-on pornographic with it, just as long as you keep that dah dah dah, dah dah loud and strong. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/54 "2017-02-07T12:30:24Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I think it’s “La, a note to follow so: ti I drink with jam and bread”-- it’s actually a second play on “so” as a function word. Huh - I actually never noticed that before, thanks! Probably because that phrasing is not something you really hear in Britain. Perhaps Adams missed this as well, for the same reason. Regardless, I still think it’s a weak effort. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/55 "2017-02-07T16:23:14Z")
Elton John’s “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”… _Someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear_ should be _Someone saved my life tonight… should’ve they_ ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/56 "2017-02-07T16:35:57Z")
> [@Clothes](#): > > I dare touch Louie Louie. I dunno. I like the percussive consonants of “me gotta go” vs the quiet “and away I go.” Much stronger in rhythm and sound to me, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/57 "2017-02-07T17:47:01Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Elton John’s “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”… > > _Someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear_ > > should be > > _Someone saved my life tonight… should’ve they_ Hee. I’ve mentioned this here; back before you could easily find song lyrics and before I learned who “sugar bear” is I always \*heard \*it as “sugar bear” but couldn’t believe that was actually what he’s singing because ya know, it’s stupid. I decided he was singing “someone saved my life tonight . . .didn’t ya, dear?” and convinced probably half the kids in my elementary school. Ditto Steve Miller’s “\*pompatus \*of love” which I decided must actually be “properties of love”. I think my revisions are an improvement. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/58 "2017-02-13T14:54:56Z")
Much as I love Billy Joel’s Piano Man, I wish he had used the A-B-C-C-B rhyme scheme in all his lyrics, so I did it: ## It’s 9:00 on a Saturday The regular crowd shuffles in. There’s a old man With a glass in his hand. Getting drunk on his tonic and gin ## He says “Bill, I believe this is killing me.” As the smile ran away from his face. “If I could leave this bar I’d be a big star. Why can’t I get the hell out of this place?” And the waitress is practicing politics As the businessmen slowly get stoned. Yes, they drink to excess And to loneliness… But it’s better than drinking alone. ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2017, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/59 "2017-02-14T06:35:10Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I think it’s “La, a note to follow so: ti I drink with jam and bread”-- it’s actually a second play on “so” as a function word. Just listened to Julie Andrews sing it, and I really don’t think so. My suggestion there is “La, which barristers must know”. “_Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I_”. Needlessly ungrammatical. Why not “till the fish leap from the sea for you and me”? “_What’s love but a second-hand emotion?_” Do you mean “second-rate”? After all, your love may be second-hand, but that doesn’t mean mine is (of course, it doesn’t mean it isn’t). From a more recent song (I assume), part of the rotation at my local McDonald’s: “_You always want to come but you never want to leave_”. No paradox there, so “but” is out of place. A simple “and” would suffice, though admittedly it’s an uninspiring line. “_Your words poetic are not pathetic. On the other hand, boy, you shine_”. Again, “on the other hand” usually means one thing is bad, but another thing is good. Here, two things are good, or at least ok. I suggest “as a matter of fact” instead. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748/60 "2017-04-15T17:48:31Z")
In Joan Baez’s cover of Bob Dylan’s A Simple Twist of Fate, she sings People tell me it’s a crime To feel too much At any one time All it cost me was a dime But the bells refuse to ring I sing: People tell me it’s a crime To feel too much At any one time I still want to hear a chime But the bells refuse to ring [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-a-broken-lyric/778748.md?page=4)