# Fix this piece of fucking you shit, you retarded apes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 3, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409 "2007-10-03T19:15:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/1 "2007-10-03T19:15:15Z")
The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. 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The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. Seriously, guys. It’s getting embarrassing. Creative Loafing took a gigantic steaming shit on the local production and distribution departments of the Reader - how do you think they’re going to look at this site? This shit is getting **embarrassing**. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. The message board is temporarily offline. 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**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/2 "2007-10-03T19:16:19Z")
So are you. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/3 "2007-10-03T19:16:24Z")
You know what you might find away from your computer? A life. With real things to care about. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/4 "2007-10-03T19:24:13Z")
It’s fixed now Sir, as per your request. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/5 "2007-10-03T19:29:48Z")
Not usually one to post in the pit, but when I got the “The message board is temporarily offline” message I got up and took a walk around the property. What did you do? Sit there and hit refresh like a retarded ape? I suggest you find something to do away from the dope for a while… A long while. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/6 "2007-10-03T19:29:55Z")
Get a grip **VCO3**. Outages happen. Find something else to do for a while. I would tell you to take a break and whack off for a few minutes, but I realize that you probably use your OPs for spank material, so that won’t work in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/7 "2007-10-03T19:32:34Z")
Wow. That’s all you have to do to fix things around here? That should be in a sticky. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/8 "2007-10-03T19:32:41Z")
You’re capable of being embarrassed? ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/9 "2007-10-03T19:33:27Z")
“…you FAT retarded apes” Fixed that for 'ya… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/10 "2007-10-03T19:34:49Z")
Actually this thread made me laugh. Try as I might, I have a hard time being annoyed by **VCO3** , especially after a couple of posts I read by him recently. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/11 "2007-10-03T19:40:47Z")
Yeah, let’s flame **VC03** over something that can be genuinely irritating and in the process make ourselves feel superior than him. “Look at me! I’m a Doper and I have a life! I’m not as lame as that guy!” Woopty-freaking-doo. Go fuck yourself. ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/12 "2007-10-03T19:42:28Z")
What the fuck DO you people do at work…work!? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/13 "2007-10-03T19:42:36Z")
I actually empathize with your frustration, **VCO3**. And as far as the “just get up and go outside” chorus goes…I do the same thing when the SDMB goes down as I do when my satellite TV does: get up and do something else. _And_ complain. Why does it have to be one or the other? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/14 "2007-10-03T19:42:50Z")
But the real poke in the eye is clicking a thread you want to read and being met with a nearly one minute delay. The whole while **“looking up [tag.contextweb.com](http://tag.contextweb.com)”**. Maybe they should’ve held off inclusion of there banner ads until either, (1) the SDMB sever was able to compile and transmit the tags needed to find the appropriate advertiser at a much quicker rate of speed - or (2) found an ad sponsor that doesn’t take so long to put a banner ad on the page. Timeouts and sluggish page loads at a premium subscriber fee doesn’t appear to be a very sustainable business model. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/15 "2007-10-03T19:43:25Z")
Hey **VCO3** Didn’t you get the email notification? > [@](#): > > We have fixed this piece of fucking you shit, and now return you to your normally scheduled messageboard. > > Sincerely, > Magilla G. Rilla > **Retarded Apes You Shit Fixing Service** > _If we can’t fix you shit, you shit ain’t fixable_ Glad to help, Bubba ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/16 "2007-10-03T19:44:33Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] What the fuck DO you people do at work…work!? :eek: [/QUOTE] I listened to the cleaning lady bitch about the woman upstairs on the 6th floor. The woman upstairs apparently eats peanuts, out of the shell, and dumps the shells on the ground. Then leaves them there. :eek: The cleaning staff is appalled and frankly so am I. Can you imagine what this woman does at home? Can you imagine what her house looks like? Eek. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/17 "2007-10-03T19:48:30Z")
[QUOTE=JohnBckWLD] Timeouts and sluggish page loads at a premium subscriber fee doesn’t appear to be a very sustainable business model. [/QUOTE] You wouldn’t _think_ so, yet here we all are. 😛 And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a member leave just because of the slowness: it’s after they get a few mod warnings, or get pwned in a couple of big flamey arguments, that all of a sudden the board speed becomes too much of an irritant to ignore. Rather than “charging what the market will bear,” TPTB are “delivering what the market will tolerate.” ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/18 "2007-10-03T19:52:53Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] What the fuck DO you people do at work…work!? :eek: [/QUOTE] Well you notice my post was only 10 minutes after yours right? So, I only work when there is work. There rest of the time I screw off. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/19 "2007-10-03T20:06:44Z")
If you stare at the OP and unfocus your eyes, A 3-D image of\*\* jdavis\*\* appears. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409/20 "2007-10-03T20:08:04Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Yeah, let’s flame **VC03** over something that can be genuinely irritating and in the process make ourselves feel superior than him. “Look at me! I’m a Doper and I have a life! I’m not as lame as that guy!” Woopty-freaking-doo. Go fuck yourself. [/QUOTE] I’ve tried, but am incapable. I just can’t get both the length _and_ the flexibility necessary. Each quality on its own, sure. Both together, no chance. However, I _am_ less lame than anybody who starts a Pit thread on a brief message board outage. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fix-this-piece-of-fucking-you-shit-you-retarded-apes/421409.md?page=2)