# Fixing my vibrator **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698 "2010-04-20T01:17:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fubbleskag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fubbleskag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fubbleskag)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/1 "2010-04-20T01:17:20Z")
I’ve been sexually active for 15 years, and the one complaint about my sexual experience has been that I don’t have a vibrator. People have told me not to force it, that I’ll get one when I’m ready. Well, I’m apparently ready, because I finally have a vibrator. But it’s the ugliest vibrator I’ve ever seen. It’s extremely fast, and sounds not unlike a machine gun . . . or Woody Woodpecker. I have the ability to turn it on or off, but how can I change the speed? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/2 "2010-04-20T01:24:19Z")
> [@fubbleskag](#): > > It’s extremely fast, and sounds not unlike a machine gun . . . or Woody Woodpecker. There has GOT to be a market for a sex toy that goes “_Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha!_” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/3 "2010-04-20T01:27:37Z")
That would depend on the make and model of the vibrator. Most of the ones I’ve used, there was a dial on the base that turned it on, and then turned the speed up the more you rotated the dial. If yours is just on or off, you might want to consider buying a better vibe. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/4 "2010-04-20T01:28:51Z")
Not all vibrators have adjustable speed, but you can look for a dial or a slider or a set of buttons. What brand is it? Can I make a suggestion? [Laya](http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=12AH94) - german engineering at its finest. ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/5 "2010-04-20T02:04:50Z")
What’s the pitch of your vibrator? You may just need to work on your breath control. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/6 "2010-04-20T02:38:37Z")
i could have sword the OP said “vibrato” and came in fully expecting to offer tips on playing the violin. is there such a thing as an anti-freudian slip? ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/7 "2010-04-20T02:41:04Z")
Two words: Pocket Rocket I bought one for my GF, and she would literally kill anyone that tried to take it away from her. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/8 "2010-04-20T02:53:29Z")
\*\*\*Hey fubbleskag . . . Take your stinkin’ paws off my thread! * * * (:D) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/9 "2010-04-20T02:54:57Z")
And what, no diaphragm jokes? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/10 "2010-04-20T03:05:51Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > i could have sword the OP said “vibrato” and came in fully expecting to offer tips on playing the violin. [Yeah, about that…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560206) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/11 "2010-04-20T03:37:06Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > [Yeah, about that…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560206) Ha! Suckered me good. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/12 "2010-04-20T04:10:15Z")
I would love to see the two threads merged and let people guess which responses are to which. The one about making sounds like a goat could easily go either way. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/13 "2010-04-20T04:12:30Z")
> [@fubbleskag](#): > > I’ve been sexually active for 15 years, and the one complaint about my sexual experience has been that I don’t have a vibrator. People have told me not to force it, that I’ll get one when I’m ready. I dont’ understand this even a little. Who is doing the complaining? Vibrators are not only overrated, they are overhyped, overused, and highly effective at dulling female sexual response. If you haven’t had one up to now, there’s really not much reason to start. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/14 "2010-04-20T04:20:19Z")
Looks like someone’s been replac… wait, you’re a hetero chick. How does that work? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/15 "2010-04-20T16:24:36Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Can I make a suggestion? > [Laya](http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=12AH94) - german engineering at its finest. I love the thought of German engineering in a vibrator, but let’s face it - batteries suck. The only vibrators that can keep up with a woman’s sexual capacity are ones that plug in to a wall. I purchased a Panasonic _Panabrator_ for my wife 20+ years ago, and that thing has been a workhorse. I dread the day it finally give up the ghost…I don’t think there is a single one made today that will be it’s equal. Switch on the side, knob on the end of the handle, a mushroom shaped head and an apparently unique ability to produce the “slow but strong” vibration she prefers. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/16 "2010-04-20T17:04:22Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I love the thought of German engineering in a vibrator, but let’s face it - batteries suck. The only vibrators that can keep up with a woman’s sexual capacity are ones that plug in to a wall. I purchased a Panasonic _Panabrator_ for my wife 20+ years ago, and that thing has been a workhorse. I dread the day it finally give up the ghost…I don’t think there is a single one made today that will be it’s equal. Switch on the side, knob on the end of the handle, a mushroom shaped head and an apparently unique ability to produce the “slow but strong” vibration she prefers. [FYI…](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hitachi+magic+wand&x=0&y=0) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/17 "2010-04-20T17:28:44Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > [FYI…](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hitachi+magic+wand&x=0&y=0) 😃 Thanks, but no. The massively over-praised Magic Wand only has two speeds, unlike the variable speed of the Panabrator. Anyone have a plug-in vibrator that has a continuously variable speed control? To my ears, the Panabrator sounds like it can slow all the way down to 60 vibrations per second, where the slowest of the two speeds the Hitachi manages is 5000. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/18 "2010-04-20T18:30:56Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > I dont’ understand this even a little. Who is doing the complaining? > > Vibrators are not only overrated, they are overhyped, overused, and highly effective at dulling female sexual response. If you haven’t had one up to now, there’s really not much reason to start. Pssst. See post #10 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/19 "2010-04-20T18:48:40Z")
Surely I’m not the only one reminded of the scene in _Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex…_ where Woody and his wife are experimenting with a vibrator for the first time and when it shorts out they recoil in horror as sparks and then a flame come shooting out. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698/20 "2010-04-20T19:43:03Z")
Thanks you for doing this thread. I’ve been reading the other one wrong since it started and it’s nice to read the title and have it be about what i expect. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fixing-my-vibrator/536698.md?page=2)