# Fla. Rep. Bob Allen (R): Oh, I'm not gay, I'm a racist asshole. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 7, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715 "2007-08-07T05:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/41 "2007-08-07T20:01:59Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] (Sorrells v. US, quoting Butts v. US) [/QUOTE] Isn’t “quoting butts” different from a blow job? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/42 "2007-08-07T20:11:17Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Isn’t “quoting butts” different from a blow job? [/QUOTE] I thought that was probably a seminal case. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/43 "2007-08-07T20:11:43Z")
In the third season of the BBC show “Little Britain” there’s an ongoing sketch of a member of parliament greeting a group of reporters at the edge of his property with his family in tow. He then explains to the gaggle of microphones how he went to a group of men in a back alley to talk about the new education funding bill and then he ‘fell into a man while naked’. The foreshadowing of Allen here is pretty hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/44 "2007-08-07T20:21:22Z")
See, what had happened was, he was ascairt of the big, black man behind the door and he went to run away but he slipped and fell into the stall. He was screaming in terror has he fell and the officer was, you know, doing the thing you do in a bathroom stall behind a closed door when Mr. Allen fell onto him, his mouth wide open in terror. The twenty dollars was for the scary black man to wipe his ass with. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/45 "2007-08-07T20:40:10Z")
A more detailed version of what happened [here](itusville Officer Danny Kavanaugh, who was staking out a nearby condo hoping to catch a burglar, said Allen approached him in the men’s bathroom at Veterans Memorial Park about 3:30 p.m. Wednesday.). > [@](#): > > Titusville Officer Danny Kavanaugh, who was staking out a nearby condo hoping to catch a burglar, said Allen approached him in the men’s bathroom at Veterans Memorial Park about 3:30 p.m. Wednesday. > > In an arrest affidavit, Kavanaugh said he had washed his hands and, finding the sink’s paper-towel dispenser empty, had walked into a stall for the disabled to dry his hands. Allen first peeked over the door and then stepped inside, he said. > > Allen proposed the two go across a nearby bridge because “it’s quiet over there” and he would perform a sex act on the officer for $20, the affidavit said. They walked to Allen’s car, where the officer identified himself and arrested Allen. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/46 "2007-08-07T20:40:25Z")
The funny thing about his “explanation” is that it seems to imply that offering a “stocky black guy” a blowjob would get him less of a beating, instead of more. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/47 "2007-08-07T21:37:30Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Not mine! [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/48 "2007-08-07T22:57:55Z")
I wonder if watching _Last King of Scotland_ with Pretty Stocky Black Man™ [Forrest Whitaker](http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/film/forest460.jpg) as stocky black man Idi Amin made Allen terrified or horny- or somewhere in between- [Hannibal Lecter voice]so terrified and horny he had to get away from the DVD player… as far as he could go… all the way to the P-A-R-Kaaayyyyy…[/Hannibal Lecter voice] Since the mods wouldn’t let me change my user name to NAPPY HEADED HO(MO), can I please change ti to PRETTY STOCKY BLACK WHITE-GUY? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/49 "2007-08-07T23:24:30Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] Why would anyone in their right mind go looking for penis to suck in a freakin’ _park restroom_? [/QUOTE] For anonymity. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/50 "2007-08-07T23:37:30Z")
Didn’t he learn from ALF’s friend Willie Tanner the safest way to slum is to pay homeless guys to have sex with you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/51 "2007-08-08T00:35:50Z")
Um, could I get directions to the park where hot women are looking to pay me to suck my member? I mean, aside from the obvious answer of ‘Heaven’. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/52 "2007-08-08T00:46:08Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] Um, could I get directions to the park where hot women are looking to pay me to suck my member? I mean, aside from the obvious answer of ‘Heaven’. [/QUOTE] Sorry, dude. One of the perqs of being gay. If you learn to love the cock, there’s a bj behind every rock… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/53 "2007-08-08T00:51:21Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Didn’t he learn from ALF’s friend Willie Tanner the safest way to slum is to pay homeless guys to have sex with you? 🙂 [/QUOTE] I remember that- man, it was some visuals I didn’t want or need. (And he smoked crack too- he was like 60 and Willie Tanner and smoking crack with homeless guys he was having sex with! IT’S A MADHOUSE!) ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/54 "2007-08-08T00:55:30Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Sorry, dude. One of the perqs of being gay. If you learn to love the cock, there’s a bj behind every rock… [/QUOTE] Maybe that’s why Bush invaded Irock. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/55 "2007-08-08T01:06:09Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Sorry, dude. One of the perqs of being gay. If you learn to love the cock, there’s a bj behind every rock… [/QUOTE] I’m hearing that to the tune of the _Beretta_ themesong, for some reason. [Sammy Davis, Jr.]Learn to love the cock/there’s bj behind every rock/ don’t cop a feel/if you don’t wanna feel a cop/ But keep your eyyyyyyyyyyye on the pretty stocky black man…[/Sammy Davis Jr.] ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/56 "2007-08-08T01:14:24Z")
[QUOTE=DanBlather] Maybe that’s why Bush invaded Irock. [/QUOTE] \ "I am Irock. I am a bloooooooooooooooooooooooooow job." \ ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/57 "2007-08-08T01:31:14Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Not to mention he didn’t avoid becoming a statistic. He’s part of the growing number of nominally gay-unfriendly Republicans who have been getting caught with dicks in their mouths recently, a very significant statistic indeed. 😃 [/QUOTE] Sounds like a standard deviation to me. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/58 "2007-08-08T02:15:04Z")
[Young Republican National Federation Chair Bites the Big One.](http://www.americablog.com/2007/08/young-republican-national-federation.html) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/59 "2007-08-08T02:22:58Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I remember that- man, it was some visuals I didn’t want or need. (And he smoked crack too- he was like 60 and Willie Tanner and smoking crack with homeless guys he was having sex with! IT’S A MADHOUSE!) [/QUOTE] I never watched much ALF, but that episode must have been a HOOT! ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715/60 "2007-08-08T02:27:25Z")
Family values conservative caught giving money to a black man so he can suck his dick in a public restroom. Pope is still Catholic, bears avail themselves of the woods. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fla-rep-bob-allen-r-oh-im-not-gay-im-a-racist-asshole/414715.md?page=4)