# Flame War Rules **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973 "2000-01-03T22:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Konrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/21 "2000-01-05T00:21:00Z")
1. Any disagreement over any issue involving any group that is or once was disadvantaged is a result of your opponent being secretly bigoted against that group. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/22 "2000-01-05T00:28:00Z")
1. Refer to obscure journals and post imaginary citations from same. (Always works for me.) * * * Stop telling God what to do. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/23 "2000-01-05T00:30:00Z")
1. Post numbers in sequence. * * * Stop telling God what to do. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/24 "2000-01-05T01:46:00Z")
1. Do not read responses by others; just keep repeating exactly the same thing over and over and _over_ again, clamining that you are just misunderstood. (This is close to Jodih’s #30, but with additional juvenile whining.) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/25 "2000-01-05T02:24:00Z")
\Flame Wars Rule! Yeah , Man They Rule! They… (what? Oh.)\ Nevermind. Topic title fooled me. Carry on. 😉 * * * “Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/26 "2000-01-05T10:15:00Z")
1. forget a number 2. create a writing style that annoys other people. 3. never use names, that way you can always say: “i wasnt talking to you”. 4. opposite to rule #28 5. do not quote, make people search for what you are replying to 6. create a C#3 link 7. memorize the rules and quote em as often as you can(remember rule number 42, so just refer to the number.) bj0rn - [duh!](http://xxx.xxx.xxx) ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/27 "2000-01-05T12:14:00Z")
1. Post after someone who’s widely disliked, so you can make yourself look better by contrast. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/28 "2000-01-05T12:32:00Z")
1. Flame the poster above you by saying he could never be taken seriously since he uses the Dreaded Smilies. * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/29 "2000-01-05T12:46:00Z")
1. Post after someone who’s almost the most popular poster on the board, so you can make yourself look better by association. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/30 "2000-01-05T12:57:00Z")
1. Claim that everyone who made it to a higher position that yourself on the most recent popularity thread is an asshole. 2. Claim that popularity threads are irrelevant, this isn’t Junior High for Gods sake ! * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/31 "2000-01-05T17:33:00Z")
1. repeat rule #38 as often as possible 2. use annoying things as your hammer to smite em smileys 3. repeatedly tell everybody else that “its none of their sodding buissiness”. 4. repeatedly tell everybody else that “its none of their sodding buissiness”. bj0rn - bj0rn ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/32 "2000-01-05T17:45:00Z")
1. Post a drive-by insult to bj(zero)rn. * * * Easy one-step assembly instructions. Pour **Beer A** in **Uncle B**. ---
**Author:** ![Konrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/33 "2000-01-05T22:35:00Z")
1. No matter how bad your arguments are, or even if you don’t have any arguments, point out that you are only responding to the other poster out of pity for them. For an example see Sqrlcub’s post on the gay marriage thread. ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/34 "2000-01-06T09:42:00Z")
1. a rule is never repeated too often 2. after one, insult none!!! bj0rn - just driving by 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/35 "2000-01-06T13:59:00Z")
2001: Get multiple Hotmail accounts so each of the voices in your head can have its own UserName. This way, you can always find another poster to agree with you, and imitate a consensus against your opponent. 2001a: Have your sock puppets argue with each other. This will confuse, annoy, or bore your opponents until they drop the subject leaving you the opportunity to claim victory by default. ---
**Author:** ![Lawrence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lawrence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lawrence)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/36 "2000-01-07T03:04:00Z")
1. Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/37 "2000-01-07T10:40:00Z")
Someone like Lawrence who says " who cares?" With that attitude this web site would be empty. I also love the person who wracks the poster right and left; the person who is Dr. psychiatrist and mommy and daddy all in one but rarely initiates a question himself. There people just lurk in the kelp beds ready to jump on anyone who makes an attempt to stimulate conversation. And you people know who you are. * * * One of the great pleasures in life is not dying “plato…saucero…& bowler” ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/38 "2000-01-07T12:31:00Z")
is that a rule skelton4947? or are you just attempting to “stimulate conversation”, the. i wonder how good we would do, if one was to start a flame war right now, in following the rules. i guess the last rule would have to be 100. make up your own as you go along, just to suit and annoy more people. bj0rn - a nice person ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/39 "2000-01-07T13:22:00Z")
1. If it gets too hot to handle, run whining to the moderator: “Poster X hurt my feelings!!! TOS him! TOS him!” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973/40 "2000-01-07T19:48:00Z")
1. And when said moderator gets renaissancey on your ass (which is bad, but not nearly as bad as medeval), make fun of the moderator through fake ‘edited’ messages, or by crying out that the moderator is completely unfair, ignoring everything your opponent is doing, and only doing this because he/she hates your race/gender/religion/stance on the issue you last argued with him/her upon. * * * JMCJ This could be YOUR sig line! For just five cents a post, JMCJ Enterprises will place YOUR sig line at the bottom of each message! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flame-war-rules/3973.md?page=3)