# Flamsterette, you crossed the line. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647 "2003-09-24T22:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/41 "2003-09-25T01:27:39Z")
I’m equally sickened by the nastiness and pettiness of **Flami** ’s OP and by the caustic venom being spewed here. **Flami** , you fucked up in that thread-- _Bigtime_. Wow. But, man, some of the posts in response are really making me queasy. I ain’t shit like this in a long time. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/42 "2003-09-25T01:28:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > **WTF? WTF were you thinking?** I think you’re assuming a **lot**. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by wring_ > \*\*I’d like to see her given a chance to appologize before folks start posting about impending tortures and beatings they’d like to give. \*\* I can’t see threatening her with bodily harm. And I am also willing to give her a chance to apologize for her sheer rude gall toward “John” (I don’t know who this person even is, honestly) and his birthday card. However. I would be _ **reaaaaaaally** _ interested in seeing how she explains flinging the word “degenerate” at **Tiburon** - at all, let alone in a thread which was pretty civil (if tense) right up until that point. I can see her reconsidering the wisdom in starting that thread. I can’t see her explaining away > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X > **Not that I care bouta degenerate’s opinion, anyhow… but I’m sure it’s not intentional.** _ **Really** _ interested in her explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/43 "2003-09-25T01:28:59Z")
**Flamsterette** , I rarely post in the Pit, but this…you’re unbelievable. I used to see your posts kind of feel sorry for you. I’m far from one of the cool kids but you seem so desperate for attention and acceptance. After the first few threads you started, I stopped opening them because they were so inane and empty-headed. But you didn’t bother me one way or the other. I was amazed when I read your OP, and astounded when I realized to whom you were referring. How anyone could be so self-centered AND so far off base in their assessment of a truly good person’s friendly gesture…god. It boggles the mind. And THEN! You call Tiburon a degenerate, confirming your idiocy. You would be lucky beyond belief to be anything like her. I can’t express how small a person you are next to her. You’re nothing compared to either one of them, absolutely nothing. I’m glad you’ve chosen to reveal your true colors. It’s good to know who’s on the fucking shitheel list, and you’re number one with a bullet. Way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/44 "2003-09-25T01:30:14Z")
Considering my own birthday was a couple of weeks ago and the birthday cards are still lovingly arranged on the mantle (I do love birthday cards!) I was curious to see which of my friends and family failed to write my name inside. Name inside: 6 Name not inside: 8 I would like to go on record as saying this is something I have NEVER considered in the past. Interestingly,the cards without names inside include those dearest to me …mother, father and boyfriend. In my opinion, since Flamsterette\_X knows the sender reads the board and would recognize himself in the description, the intent was to hurt him and belittle his thoughtfulness. For shame. To John the sender (who I don’t know) rest assured the complaint is unspeakably petty, you should like a caring and thoughtful person to go out of your way to try to brighten someone’s day with a birthday wish. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/45 "2003-09-25T01:30:14Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kyla \* > \*\* **Tibs** , you degenerate lesbian!_\* That’s the best kind! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/46 "2003-09-25T01:31:53Z")
That thread has been open and closed for HOURS, and this thread has been around for HOURS, and it’s all over the LJ communities for SDMB…so there’s no question she knows about the backlash. She’s a chicken shit who won’t come in here and explain herself, and I bet you a shiny new quarter she posts a tearful, I’m leaving forever thread… and that would be the BEST FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENT I, JARBABY, COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/47 "2003-09-25T01:33:40Z")
should = sound ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/48 "2003-09-25T01:34:37Z")
Well, **Flamsterette\_X** , prior to this evening I just though you an uninteresting but cheerful twit. I took some notice of you when you first came on the board simply because of the volume of your posts. Once I gathered the gist of your content, I mentally tagged you as harmless and vapid, and just let almost everything you posted drop below my threshhold of attention. Every month or so I would see that you started another monthly birthday thread, which I wouldn’t bother to open, and when I would open an entirely light and frothy thread, I’d sometimes see you posting. Very nice, ho hum, who cares. Not much (if any) ignorance fighting there, but a benign tumor if anything (the cancerous growth rate of your post count notwithstanding). However, in the linked OP you’ve violated the board’s prime rule: “Don’t be a jerk.” I’m not talking about your whining about not getting a birthday card in the form you liked – that’s being a self-absorbed ass, not being a jerk. I’m not talking about your calling another poster a degenerate and refusing to explain yourself – that’s cowardice, not jerkishness. Being a jerk is publically calling someone rude to their face when they’ve taken the time and effort to do something nice for you. Perhaps you thought the linked OP was simply a common IMHO a question over whether or not people thought the action at issue was rude, but perhaps you’re simply too stupid to realize that asking the question, particularly in the form you asked, is another way of saying you think it was rude. And by posting it in a forum he frequents, and by identifying him by name and attributes, you’ve said you think he was rude and you don’t care who else knows it – and all from doing you the courtesy of sending you a birthday card. Although this jerkishness is probably not itself a banning offense on this board, **Flamsterette\_X** , you may want to consider whether you really should be posting here where we esteem non-jerks who contribute to the fight against ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/49 "2003-09-25T01:34:52Z")
I am not surprised you had it in you Flamsterette, you have given hints before which is precisely why I generally keep my distance from you but I am really surprised you forgot yourself and let it out. Probably just as well in the long term though, for us of course, not you. I am just glad I don’t have to live in your head, that is just plain nasty in there. I pity you ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/50 "2003-09-25T01:35:23Z")
**jarbabyj** , I’ll see your tearful farewell and raise you a reappearance in MPSIMS in a week or so, pretending nothing at all has happened. I look forward to that, since it will afford us all the opportunity to reply to every one of her threads with “Oh, look…it’s the chickenshit who insulted two of the classiest people we know and refused to apologize for it!”. Won’t that be fun? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/51 "2003-09-25T01:35:39Z")
Hoooooly shit. You know, I have a tendency to forget things about people (like who hates me or has flamed me in the past or whatever) and so I tend to forget who it is that I have no respect for, but I swear I’m actually writing myself a note here to remind myself that this “person” is fermented pig shit. Good god! I agree with what was said in the other thread: not only is it not rude, but including the name is kind of weird. I never do and I have rarely seen a card where someone DID. How someone could be so incredibly self centered as to think the world should bend to their own bizarre sense of etiquette… well I’m baffled. I don’t think I can come up with a strong enough way to say “fuck you” so “fuck you” will have to do. Just understand that it’s a serious understatement. I’m stunned. Totally. Completely. Stunned. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/52 "2003-09-25T01:37:04Z")
I’m going to take what **Eris** and **Wring** said to heart because I know I’ve done some stupid things before. I went off on you, Flammie, because I think what you did was thoughtless and rude - and because I got really defensive about a friend. It was hard not to do. Probably no one deserves to get a royal bitch-out like you’re getting but I hope you just take to heart that this many people probably aren’t wrong about whether or not it was a good idea to post such a thing on a board. You know? No one has to like anyone else but probably at least being nice is a good thing. I’ve never pitted anyone before specifically because I’d hate to get pitted. I’d imagine it sucks to see your name here. Truly, if you are able to see that what you did was thoughtless and you are able to admit it - and apologize to John, my beef with you is over. I don’t really know why you called me a degenerate. It didn’t really hurt my feelings because I know you don’t know me well enough to make that comment and well, I chalk it up to a fair bit of defensiveness. People apologize and back down a lot easier when they can do it with some face. I truly do want to extend that to you. I told a great friend earlier this week that “we all make mistakes” - well, I should be able to admit that even people I may not be friends with make mistakes. So c’est la vie. We don’t have to be friends - but hell, we don’t have to be enemies. Thanks go to **Eris** and **Wring** for the gentle reminder. Tibby. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/53 "2003-09-25T01:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \* > I think you’re assuming a **lot**. Admittedly, I don’t run into her here or anywhere else so my sight is lacking in regards to her usual postings. I do find her words incredibly insensitive and rude to a friend. Had she left out who and such, I am sure that people wouldn’t be biting on her ass right now and if she had not been such a putz by calling **Tiburon** a degenerate, surely this would have gone by with little or no thought. GAH… ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/54 "2003-09-25T01:40:00Z")
I havent read the card thread, and I don’t plan to. But if I have this correctly, you called Tiburon a degenerate because she disagreed with you AFTER YOU ASKED FOR AN OPINION? If that’s correct, then you’re a fart-tube. Tibs is the bees knees. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/55 "2003-09-25T01:40:02Z")
Tibs, what about me? I said I wanted to kiss you. DOES THAT COUNT FOR NOTHING IN YOUR WORLD? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/56 "2003-09-25T01:40:44Z")
Wow. Just . . . well, **wow**. Well, the only thing to do at this point is to apologize abjectly, lavishly, and repeatedly. If you can work up a credible explanation of temporary insanity, that would be helpful as well. Then after the extensive apologizing and credible explanation of how you’re now back in your right mind and simply cannot _believe_ you ever acted so badly, you’ll just have to hope that people will forgive and forget. But you shouldn’t hold your breath. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/57 "2003-09-25T01:42:27Z")
Dear Jarbaby, Kisses are quaint But sex, they ain’t. sincerely, Tibby. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/58 "2003-09-25T01:43:19Z")
This whole situation amazes me, really. I honestly can’t believe, **Flam** , that you would even think that not having your name put in a card should spark any ill emotion what so ever. It’s appalling. And what’s more than that, you have the nerve to call my dear, and very close friend **Tibby** a degenerate? I think you own her an apology **and** an explanation for such a thing! **Tibby** is one of the kindest, loving, and most thoughtful people I know and if you are calling her a degenerate because she is a lesbian, my advice to you would be to pack your bags and get the hell of this board because you won’t be welcome here. (I know **Flam** didn’t say **Tibbs** was a degenerate for being a lesbian. But I know everyone was thinking it, so I just said it.) ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/59 "2003-09-25T01:43:58Z")
Tibby, you’re good people and far more charitable and forgiving than I am. Because I still think she’s a shitheel. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/60 "2003-09-25T01:44:10Z")
**Tiburon** , I just wanted to say that second post of yours in this thread took a lot of class - and in that respect, I’m not surprised you posted it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647.md?page=4)