# Flamsterette, you crossed the line. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647 "2003-09-24T22:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/121 "2003-09-25T03:20:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > **I recognize that I caused people hurt with that thread, and I apologize sincerely for that. Say what you will about my sincerity, but I truly mean this.** Good form, **Flam**. Good form. I’m glad you checked in with us at this thread, and had the courage to own up to what happened. It takes guts to admit to a mistake, and even bigger guts when the mistake is of such magnitude in a busy forum like the SDMB. It is up to **Tiburon** and John B. (whoever he may be) to forgive you. That is something that you may have to work out in private e-mail with them. As for me, I hope this situation resolves favorably for you and the others concerned, and that you continue to be a member here at the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/122 "2003-09-25T03:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*I’m sad. > > I frequently hear people on this board trumped how we need to “fight ignorance” and all that. I’d hope that means we fight _ignorance,_ not _each other._ > > I’m still not clear on what Flami did–I haven’t checked the link in the OP. However, assuming that Flami made a mistake, and a severe one at that, that people would want to point out her error, yes, but also help her GET BACK ON TRACK. I hate these pit pile-ons. I hate the mob mentality. I really do. I’d think that a board dedicated to “fighting ignorance,” so to speak, would be more interested in correcting the error and helping the person than kicking them while they’re down. > > Have you considered that maybe she feels like crap, and that’s why she hasn’t responded back? Think back to the last time you were confronted with something you didn’t like about yourself–did you apologize right away, or did you blurt out an explanation right away? Maybe she’s thinking of an apology. Maybe she’s crying somewhere, thinking about what she did. I don’t know. I could be totally wrong here. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. > > This is the same Flami who wishes SDMBers a happy birthday every month, isn’t it? Has anyone here ever thanked her for that? > > I like these boards. I really do. But sometimes, I get really, really, really scared around here, when I see a tolerance-loving, ignorance-fighting group of people give someone a verbal pogrom. I sometimes wonder when they’re coming after me next. \*\* Best post of the year. Everyone could take a lesson from this. Res, you deserve a MEDAL. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/123 "2003-09-25T03:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*There are not enough douchebags in the world to describe this waste of skin. Wow. What an asshole. \*\* This after she offers an apology? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by me_ > **SHe could offer a most heart-felt apology, and I don’t think it would matter to some of you. You’ve already damned her to hell and made this whole thing an unforgivable offense, I’m afraid.** I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/124 "2003-09-25T03:24:00Z")
**Flamsterette\_X** I know it took guts to apologize. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/125 "2003-09-25T03:24:02Z")
I know now, since Aslan’s confirmed - but didn’t when I posted that - that she knows about the thread. I _also_ know that I, for one, would have a hard time coming back in here now, in the face of this thread - there’s some ugliness here. Not everyone, certainly, but some have taken the chance to sink the boot in pretty hard, when expressing displeasure could have been done in a less savage way - Una did a good job a couple of posts above: feelings expressed, in no uncertain terms, but without the baying for blood displayed by others. There’s a few here who - and maybe, or even probably, this is just my reading, and not the intention - seem to me to be queuing for Coliseum tickets. I might well need to work up to coming here and facing this, and I would want to write a damned good, sincere apology. Which doesn’t happen in ten minutes. There might be a little personal reflection going on, some thought or meditation on why that thread was a bad idea - we don’t know. Again, I think that, since she’s aware of this thread (per Aslan’s post), that she’s got the flamin’ point. Maybe we can lay back a bit now and wait for her post. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/126 "2003-09-25T03:24:15Z")
Well, I accept your apology, **Flami**. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/127 "2003-09-25T03:24:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > **Flam used bad judgement, and really fucked up. But the cruelty some of you are displaying is obviously meant to cut to the core. Saying she’s “boring” or she shouldn’t be allowed to breed or she doesn’t have a “working brain” are just ad hominem attacks.** Did you miss the part where she _gratuitously_ called **Tiburon** a degenerate? Nothing said here has been any less deserved, IMO. Sure, most of us have had similar petty thoughts, but the difference between _Flam_ and most of the rest of us, is that we don’t _spout that crap publicly_. \*_Flamsterette_, you owe two people a MUCH more hearfelt and sincere apology than you delivered so far. That was the lamest apology I’ve ever witnessed. Try again. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/128 "2003-09-25T03:25:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > This after she offers an apology? Only 6 minutes after - could have been hamster-induced lag and/or lack of previewing. **F\_X** , it’s good to see you post that. I hope John and **Tiburon** find it sufficient. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/129 "2003-09-25T03:27:55Z")
And, while I was writing that, she did. Took guts, Flami. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/130 "2003-09-25T03:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Dear Jarbaby Diane, > > I have reconsidered. Bring on the smoochies. > > Sincerely, > Tibby. Admit it, it was the “Diane” part that changed your mind, right? 😉 Flam - you are an ungrateful, selfish asshole. You don’t deserve a friend like John. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/131 "2003-09-25T03:30:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Q.E.D._ > \*\*Sure, most of us have had similar petty thoughts, but the difference between Flam and most of the rest of us, is that we don’t spout that crap publicly. > \*\* Could’ve fooled me. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/132 "2003-09-25T03:32:30Z")
In fact, **Q.E.D.** , I think that this thread is living proof that that statement is complete and utter bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/133 "2003-09-25T03:32:38Z")
**Q.E.D** Who the fuck are you to judge an apology to two other people??? You aren’t involved, and you weren’t the one transgressed. **Flam** made a public mistake and apologized, publicly, to the two people she offended. Talk about “mob mentality” and pile on. Wow. Does she need to apologize until _everyone_ thinks the apology is good enough? ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/134 "2003-09-25T03:33:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*_Flamsterette_, you owe two people a MUCH more hearfelt and sincere apology than you delivered so far. That was the lamest apology I’ve ever witnessed. Try again. \*\* She’s apologised to the board at large, and to Tibby and John as well. Whether they’re satisfied with that or not is kinda up to them to decide, not you. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/135 "2003-09-25T03:34:02Z")
There was no explanation or apology to Tiburon for calling her a degenerate (which I will continue to believe was an anti-gay slur until a suitable explanation is offered). ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/136 "2003-09-25T03:34:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*Flamsterette, you owe two people a MUCH more hearfelt and sincere apology than you delivered so far. That was the lamest apology I’ve ever witnessed. Try again. \*\* You have got to be fucking kidding me. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/137 "2003-09-25T03:37:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > \*\*This after she offers an apology? > > I rest my case. \*\* Hey Happy- STFU. Her apology wasn’t posted when I was composting my post. And by the way- her apology isn’t worth a hole in a dead chicken’s ass to me. And PS- if you don’t like the way these pit threads go, stay out of the pit and quit your crying already. Jesus H, who appointed you the hall monitor of the boards? ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/138 "2003-09-25T03:37:05Z")
Good to see an apology. It takes guts to apologize, especially after what has transpired on this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/139 "2003-09-25T03:37:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Glory \* > \*\*There was no explanation or apology to Tiburon for calling her a degenerate (which I will continue to believe was an anti-gay slur until a _suitable explanation_ is offered). \*\* She’s a lawyer. I’M KIDDING! I LOVE YOU, TIBBAY! ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647/140 "2003-09-25T03:38:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > **I recognize that I caused people hurt with that thread, and I apologize sincerely for that.** What, **Glory** , that’s not enough for you? She admits she fucked up in that thread, but didn’t provide an itemised list of how, so it’s not good enough? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flamsterette-you-crossed-the-line/203647.md?page=8)