# Flat tire + Mocking Swine on a bicycle = DIE-DIE-DIEEEEEE! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330 "2007-12-26T23:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/61 "2007-12-27T22:01:51Z")
**Winston** , discretion is the better part of valor. You must learn to pick your battles. \*\*Bosda \*\*was not in danger of anything other than getting his feelings hurt from the childish tauntings of an immature twit. In cases like that, where someone is being no better than a troll, the best thing you can do is ignore him. There was no reason to escalate the situation, which is what would have happened if \*\*Bosda \*\*had decked the guy. How would he explain that to the police? “Officer, he was making fun of me, so I hit him so hard he fell off his bike.” Do you think the police would nod wisely and send him on his way? It’s called proportional response, and **Bosda** did the right thing. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/62 "2007-12-27T22:01:52Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] If a woman posted this, I’d have said she should have maced the guy and then kicked him in the balls while he was clutching his face. And I kind of doubt anyone would be calling me names for expressing that sentiment. But who knows. These threads can be remarkably unpredictable. Thoughts? [/QUOTE] Personally, I wouldn’t be pulling out the mace at mere words. If he acted aggresively enough to make me think I was about to come to harm, maybe I’d mace him, then get to a place where I could safely call 911. But, I’d be worried that the wind combined with mace would end up ruining my Father’s dinner, so I’d still try to find a way to get to safety while getting a hot meal to my Dad. In short, words are not enough of a threat display (even blatently insulting ones) to cause me to take any action beyond wisely getting myself away from the situation and to safety. It is not worth it to risk a crazed, mace covered maniac taking revenge on me, and if I were male I’d feel the same. It isn’t worth the jail time/fines just to break the teeth of some asshole spitting stupid random bullshit. How crappy must the insult hurler’s life be, to think of that kind of thing as “fun”? I wouldn’t want to sully myself by interacting with him on a similar level. But, that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Trollhaugen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Trollhaugen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trollhaugen)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/63 "2007-12-27T22:14:43Z")
I would play the little twit on the bikes game. Insult him without constraint, hope that he reacts in an over the top manner by throwing the first punch, then call the cops, press assult charges. If the twerp was stupid enough to toss insults at a stranger, he would probably be stupid enough to react to a verbal insult with physical violence. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/64 "2007-12-27T22:14:58Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] If a woman posted this, I’d have said she should have maced the guy and then kicked him in the balls while he was clutching his face. And I kind of doubt anyone would be calling me names for expressing that sentiment. But who knows. These threads can be remarkably unpredictable. Thoughts? [/QUOTE] You are a hysterical idiot with an unusually fragile ego. Responding to verbal taunts from morons with physical violence is a stunning waste of physical and emotional energy. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/65 "2007-12-27T22:43:01Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] [Oh, bullshit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9121772&postcount=56). Liar. [/QUOTE] So, I made a crack about you junior modding a couple months ago, and now you stalk me and call me names? I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/66 "2007-12-27T22:47:29Z")
[QUOTE=Orual] You are a hysterical idiot with an unusually fragile ego. Responding to verbal taunts from morons with physical violence is a stunning waste of physical and emotional energy. [/QUOTE] I’m not an hysterical idiot, but I play one on TV. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/67 "2007-12-27T23:05:59Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] “Officer, he was making fun of me, so I hit him so hard he fell off his bike.” [/QUOTE] oh my god that’s hilarious. I think I’ll illustrate it when I get home. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/68 "2007-12-27T23:07:02Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] For shame. What nasty things you say with practically no no provocation. I just think a man needs to stand up for himself, and this was one of those times. The rest is just hyperbole and leftist pacifistic fuckery. [/QUOTE] I was just treating you like the asshole you were acting like. Wassamatter internet tuff guy, feelings hurt? Wanna kick my ass to prove your a man? I see how you gather your self-respect, advising others on a message board how to be a man and stand up for himself. By being an evern bigger jackass than the guy he’s bitching about. Like life is a contest to see who can be the bigger dick. Guess what **Wisnton** , you win the thread! You have stood up for yourself in this thread and proven you dick is bigger than everybody else’s, ya dick. ---
**Author:** ![HappyHombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/13edae/32.png) [@HappyHombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HappyHombre)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/69 "2007-12-27T23:17:13Z")
I’d start carrying a spare. It only takes about 5 minutes to change a tire. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/70 "2007-12-27T23:23:35Z")
The worst is getting heckled while you are trying to parallel park. Luckily, I am the best parallel parker (and worst driver) in the world so I always perform well under the pressure. I myself am a reverse heckler. I like to yell “YOU’RE HOT!!” out the window at joggers. It lets them know it’s working. Had I been in the situation in the OP and my spare was in fact flat, I would have called AAA and eaten the pizza while waiting. I think it’s a bit much to punch someone out for taunting you. I would have definitely been shouting strings of profanity at him, many of which would be considered violent threats in a court of law. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/71 "2007-12-27T23:39:47Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] So, I made a crack about you junior modding a couple months ago, and now you stalk me and call me names? [/QUOTE] Stalk you? Jesus, what an ego. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/72 "2007-12-28T00:42:18Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Well. . .don’t leave us hanging, **Bosda**. . .how was the pizza? [/QUOTE] Cold. BTW–there are at least 3 cops who live in this neighborhood. I _know_ there are at least 3 cops, because they park their vehicles in front of their houses when they are off duty. So, odds are around 100% that slugging the Ass would get me jugged. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/73 "2007-12-28T01:04:45Z")
[QUOTE=Biggirl] I was just treating you like the asshole you were acting like. Wassamatter internet tuff guy, feelings hurt? Wanna kick my ass to prove your a man? I see how you gather your self-respect, advising others on a message board how to be a man and stand up for himself. By being an evern bigger jackass than the guy he’s bitching about. Like life is a contest to see who can be the bigger dick. Guess what **Wisnton** , you win the thread! You have stood up for yourself in this thread and proven you dick is bigger than everybody else’s, ya dick. [/QUOTE] Wow. You are one angry lady. That’s hot. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/74 "2007-12-28T02:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] Wow. You are one angry lady. That’s hot. Damn. [/QUOTE] See? Didn’t need to lift a finger much less kick somebody’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/75 "2007-12-28T13:41:17Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Cold. [/QUOTE] I would have once replied, “Microwave”, however I have recently rediscovered the toaster oven as the supreme pizza reheating tool. Give pizza a chance. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/76 "2007-12-28T14:25:46Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I would have once replied, “Microwave”, however I have recently rediscovered the toaster oven as the supreme pizza reheating tool. Give pizza a chance. 🆒 [/QUOTE] Totally. Even if you use it for nothing else, a toaster oven is the only acceptable thing to reheat pizza with. Microwaves + Pizza = inedible cardboard. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/77 "2007-12-28T14:35:50Z")
Slight hijack. My mailman just walked in when the statement below was on the screen. 😛 [QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] **YEEEEE- AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH! DIE! O’ SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED ONE!** [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/78 "2007-12-28T14:42:52Z")
[QUOTE=Always Brings Pie] Slight hijack. My mailman just walked in when the statement below was on the screen. 😛 [/QUOTE] Jolly good. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/79 "2007-12-28T16:17:14Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] I agree with **Winston**. You don’t have to kick his ass **at the least provocation** , but you don’t have to be a complete weenie, either. [/QUOTE] But that’s exactly what this was—the least provocation. It was some moron calling silly taunts about a car. Provocation doesn’t get much more “least” than that. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330/80 "2007-12-28T16:25:33Z")
He was following him on a bike, repeatedly taunting. It wasn’t described in the OP as a simple drive by shout out. The bicyclist taunted him, he ignored him, more following, taunting, he kept walking, still being followed, being circled, and the bicyclist only stopped when he went walked up his driveway. You do that to me, I consider that provoking and threatening. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flat-tire-mocking-swine-on-a-bicycle-die-die-dieeeeee/431330.md?page=5)