# Flatulence in space **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 29, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185 "2010-05-29T14:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sir\_Drinkalot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@sir\_Drinkalot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sir_Drinkalot)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/1 "2010-05-29T14:35:06Z")
> **[How much flatulence would it take to become airborne?](https://www.straightdope.com/21344031/how-much-flatulence-would-it-take-to-become-airborne)** Ok that’s the earthbound question resolved but would flatulence in outer space give you propulsion ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/2 "2010-05-29T14:42:00Z")
Well, bearing in mind that in a vacuum the slighest push will set you moving for ever( barring accidents), you only need to channel a slight bit of propulsion to give you momentum. I wouldn’t plan on reaching anywhere soon though. And how many cans of beans would you need to carry? ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/3 "2010-05-29T20:14:37Z")
There’s also the minor issue of exposing the … ahem… outlet valve to space. Powers &8^] ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/4 "2010-05-31T13:12:58Z")
> [@Powers](#): > > There’s also the minor issue of exposing the .. ahem… outlet valve to space. > Powers &8^] I think the term you meant was … ahem… _ **rocket nozzle** _… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/5 "2010-05-31T13:43:11Z")
Gives “open the hatch” a [w]hole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/6 "2010-05-31T13:45:56Z")
Gentlemen, Be Seated! ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/7 "2010-05-31T14:37:55Z")
Open the pod bay door, Hal. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/8 "2010-05-31T15:02:09Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > And how many cans of beans would you need to carry? Excellent idea! Then all you have to do is throw the cans in the opposite direction of where you want to go. Although I don’t see why the cans have to contain beans. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/9 "2010-05-31T15:03:36Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Excellent idea! Then all you have to do is throw the cans in the opposite direction of where you want to go. Although I don’t see why the cans have to contain beans. If you are a good petomancer, eating the beans would allow you more fine control of the energy and direction of your “bursts”… ---
**Author:** ![signal11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@signal11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/signal11)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/10 "2010-05-31T21:05:47Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > I think the term you meant was … ahem… _ **rocket nozzle** _… I’ve decided that this is my new pet term for my rear end out hole. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/11 "2010-05-31T21:07:17Z")
Excuse me, I’ve just jettisoned some gas from my rocket nozzle. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/12 "2010-05-31T21:48:05Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Excuse me, I’ve just jettisoned some gas from my rocket nozzle. Cool your jets man. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/13 "2010-06-01T09:02:54Z")
Houston, we may have a problem… ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/14 "2010-06-01T11:00:19Z")
Well, I think we’d have to assume that your anus is straight. If the gases came out at an angle, you would just spin in a circle. Peeing, on the other hand, could give you a very fine directional control. Well, maybe for guys. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/15 "2010-06-01T11:05:10Z")
\< checks rocket nozzle \> Seems fine, Houston. Shall I let off another burst? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/16 "2010-06-01T11:33:05Z")
Y’all are aware there was [an entire movie based on this premise](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283054/), right? (Yes, that’s Harry Potter’s Rupert Grint in the main supporting role. Look also for an uncredited appearance by a young Keira Knightley.) ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/17 "2010-06-01T14:12:12Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Y’all are aware there was [an entire movie based on this premise](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283054/), right? No matter how sick and twisted the idea you come up with, some sicko has already thought of it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/18 "2010-06-01T14:22:01Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > \< checks rocket nozzle \> > > Seems fine, Houston. Shall I let off another burst? No!, please! noo! its fine!, (gag), you are, clear to launch, (gag) ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/19 "2010-06-01T20:20:33Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > No!, please! noo! its fine!, (gag), you are, clear to launch, (gag) You seem to be leaking some liquid fuel from your nozzle. Better shart… er… launch immediately, before you kill us all! ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/20 "2010-06-01T20:22:49Z")
> [@campp](#): > > Open the pod bay door, Hal. I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave. I still haven’t finished cleaning up from your launch. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185.md?page=2)