# Flatulence in space **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 29, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185 "2010-05-29T14:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/21 "2010-06-01T20:25:05Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Well, I think we’d have to assume that your anus is straight. If the gases came out at an angle, you would just spin in a circle. Vectored Thrust! _ **IF** _ you can control the angle! _ **Practice** _! > [@Superhal](#): > > Peeing, on the other hand, could give you a very fine directional control. Well, maybe for guys. Again, Vectored Thrust! Practice, _ **men** _, practice. The space program _needs_ your skills! ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/22 "2010-06-01T20:36:39Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Again, Vectored Thrust! Practice, _ **men** _, practice. The space program _needs_ your skills! Perhaps I should add, don’t forget the practice sessions in the vacuum chamber. Your “male” rocket nozzle needs to be toughened up to stand the rigors of space. Don’t forget the UV Exposure “tanning beds”. Loss of a _ **Member** _ is a loss to us all! ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/23 "2010-06-01T20:38:47Z")
Is _hard_ out there, in space, no one can hear you fart. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/24 "2010-06-01T20:39:17Z")
Sorry, all. On re-reading this thread, I spotted _waaaaay_ too many new cheap jokes. [But, at least most of them were _ **short** _!] ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/25 "2010-06-01T20:41:45Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > Is _hard_ out there, in space, no one can hear you fart. But[t], however, I see that someone had a “one-cheek-sneak” available, that I missed. Everyone’s a xxxxxxx comedian! ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/26 "2010-06-01T20:59:18Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > But[t], however, I see that someone had a “one-cheek-sneak” available, that I missed. Everyone’s a xxxxxxx comedian! You only say that because you envy the size of my wang. What? ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/27 "2010-06-01T22:18:47Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > You only say that because you envy the size of my wang. > > What? Yesssss. That’s quite a long “wang”. Perhaps you need to be recruited into the “astrowang” corps. Pull out your wang, slap it on this table, here, and let’s see how your “wang” stands up to “HARD Ultraviolet radiation”… [fry…] OOH, what a tiny “winkey” you have there… Sorry, you don’t measure up to the Wankstronaut Corps. _ **NEXT!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/28 "2010-06-01T23:22:47Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Yesssss. That’s quite a long “wang”. Perhaps you need to be recruited into the “astrowang” corps. Pull out your wang, slap it on this table, here, and let’s see how your “wang” stands up to “HARD Ultraviolet radiation”… > > [fry…] > > OOH, what a tiny “winkey” you have there… > > Sorry, you don’t measure up to the Wankstronaut Corps. > > _ **NEXT!** _ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/29 "2010-06-02T01:02:57Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > \< checks rocket nozzle \> > > Seems fine, Houston. Shall I let off another burst? The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/30 "2010-06-02T01:16:44Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Excuse me, I’ve just jettisoned some gas from my rocket nozzle. You are aware that the actual, non-pun-laden, term for “rocket exhaust” used by vonBraun and his colleagues, and others since, is _Raketenfahrt_? ---
**Author:** ![John\_W.Kennedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_w.kennedy/32/1031_2.png) [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/31 "2010-06-02T16:41:18Z")
Close, but no cigar. _Raketenfahrt_ means “Rocket ride”, “Rocket journey”, _etc._, from “fahren”, to travel, as in _Fahrvergnügen_. _Cf._ English “fare”. “Rocket fart” would be _Raketenfurz_. “Rocket exhaust” is, I understand, _Abgas-Rakete_. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/32 "2010-06-02T16:51:54Z")
This thread is about as welcome as a fart in a space suit. But much funnier. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/33 "2010-06-02T16:58:17Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > This thread is about as welcome as a fart in a space suit. > > But much funnier. Wich begs the question, if you fart inside an space suit, what changes, if any do you inflict to your previous velocity and curse?. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/34 "2010-06-02T17:06:17Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > Wich begs the question, if you fart inside an space suit, what changes, if any do you inflict to your previous velocity and _ **curse** _?. Well, if I farted in my spacesuit, I’d certainly curse. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/35 "2010-06-02T17:10:23Z")
“We are going to fucking crash against that asteroid captain!”. “then change curse!” “we are going to crash against that damned asteroid captain!”. ---
**Author:** ![\_Undecided\_Adrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/eada6e/32.png) [@\_Undecided\_Adrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Undecided_Adrian)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/36 "2010-06-02T18:39:24Z")
> [@John\_W.Kennedy](#): > > Close, but no cigar. _Raketenfahrt_ means “Rocket ride”, “Rocket journey”, _etc._, from “fahren”, to travel, as in _Fahrvergnügen_. _Cf._ English “fare”. “Rocket fart” would be _Raketenfurz_. “Rocket exhaust” is, I understand, _Abgas-Rakete_. Raketenabgas, actually. The word order there is the same as in English. If you want to accelerate in space with bodily products, you need to achieve the highest impulse, which means expelling the most massive available substance with the highest possible velocity. I think your best bet is flinging your poop. Those monkeys know what they’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/37 "2010-06-02T19:00:51Z")
_Woah, Commander Aldrin must have really cut one. What say we call him “Buzz”?_ ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/38 "2010-06-02T19:03:18Z")
**Frodo** said: > [@](#): > > Wich begs the question, if you fart inside an space suit, what changes, if any do you inflict to your previous velocity and curse?. If you fart inside your suit, assuming the suit is not vented (and it better not be, or it isn’t doing a good job as a spacesuit), then it will have no direct effect on your propulsion. However, your convulsions from expelling and then smelling may affect your propulsion. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/39 "2010-06-02T19:32:29Z")
Faaaaaaarts iiiiiiiiin Spaaaaaaaaaace ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185/40 "2010-06-02T21:30:15Z")
Someone call [Le Petomane](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane)! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulence-in-space/541185.md?page=3)