# Flatulent Office Mates **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652 "2014-07-08T17:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/21 "2014-07-09T00:35:15Z")
A farting horse will never tire. The farting man is the one to hire. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/22 "2014-07-09T02:46:01Z")
I fart at work sometimes… it’s sad but I try not to. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/23 "2014-07-09T04:18:44Z")
Work? ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/24 "2014-07-09T04:23:52Z")
Try deploying on a Navy ship sometime. Something in the food brings out the flatulence in everyone. Nothing like 4000 people stuck in a ship, all with gas. The good part is that by week 3, you basically don’t notice anymore. The bad part is that after you get home, you let 'em rip everywhere, since that is what you are used to doing… ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/25 "2014-07-09T04:59:59Z")
> [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](#): > > Once, we had a trip to the West Coast for a conference and our whole section was booked on the same flight. > > Word got out that a couple of the guys were planning on eating a bunch of baked beans the night before to make Mr. Creatine suffer. > > Not to be outdone, Mr Creatine ingests some concoction of baking soda and some type of beans & cheese mix before boarding the flight. > > I was about three rows back from them and couldn’t really smell anything, until for some reason, they decided to join forces against me, and started alternately coming back to my seat to let rip. > > I was so damned mad at first, but I eventually got the giggles at the absurdity of the situation. I find farts hilarious, like any good perpetual 8 year old.\* But if I was on that flight and a bunch of a-holes\*\* I don’t know decide to make this small enclosed space into a fart factory? Holy shit, I would plot all of your murders. - No snark there! I’m sincere! 😃 \*\* Both figurative AND literal! ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/26 "2014-07-09T13:53:38Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I fart at work sometimes. What a coincidence. I work at farts sometimes! ---
**Author:** ![Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f6c823/32.png) [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absinthe_Anecdote)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/27 "2014-07-09T16:03:48Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > I find farts hilarious, like any good perpetual 8 year old.\* But if I was on that flight and a bunch of a-holes\*\* I don’t know decide to make this small enclosed space into a fart factory? Holy shit, I would plot all of your murders. > > - No snark there! I’m sincere! 😃 > > \*\* Both figurative AND literal! They sat around the office for a couple of days prior to the flight exchanging notes on what types of food produces the most gas, and debated how many hours prior to the flight to eat which food. I remember one of them talking about those sugar cookies they have at Christmas, and where to find them in the summer. I also remember seeing the flight attendant react to the smell when pushing the beverage cart down the aisle. ---
**Author:** ![Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f6c823/32.png) [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absinthe_Anecdote)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/28 "2014-07-09T16:25:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I bring my 3 dogs to work with me everyday. One woman brings her two dogs and another woman brings one dog. When there is flatulence the dogs _always_ get blamed.😃 Please tell me you work at a kennel. If not, what kind of “far-out” groovy tie-dyed business is cool with having six dogs hang out at the shop all day? I’m guessing something related to hemp, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/29 "2014-07-09T16:32:15Z")
I’m in an office far removed from other people so I can sit here and toot to my heart’s content. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/30 "2014-07-09T16:43:31Z")
> [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](#): > > Please tell me you work at a kennel. > > If not, what kind of “far-out” groovy tie-dyed business is cool with having six dogs hang out at the shop all day? > > I’m guessing something related to hemp, right? > > 🙂 No hemp. I prefer cannabis bred for other purposes, but I keep that separate from my business.🆒 When I started my business i was spending 12 hours at work each day (I’m currently down to 5). The business is in a rural location on a large piece of property so I fenced in a large area with chain link. My dogs are extremely well trained and a pleasure to be around, IMO. I’m pretty certain that I’ve gained about as much business as I’ve lost due to the dogs. When I hire I’m clear that there are always dogs on the premises. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/31 "2014-07-09T19:12:08Z")
As a pregnant lady, I have decided to pretend that nobody notices. (Actually, I haven’t been farting much. Now burping… I mean, I make _amazing_ burps these days and there’s really nothing I can do about it. And I work in a very large quiet workroom. Sorry.) ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/32 "2014-07-09T19:39:13Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > Try deploying on a Navy ship sometime. Something in the food brings out the flatulence in everyone. Nothing like 4000 people stuck in a ship, all with gas. The good part is that by week 3, you basically don’t notice anymore. The bad part is that after you get home, you let 'em rip everywhere, since that is what you are used to doing… So now that there are women at sea, does that change things, or do the women just cut loose alongside the men? ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/33 "2014-07-09T22:03:41Z")
I worked in the back of a radio truck with my co-worker who had spent the evening drinking draft beer and eating hot wings. I eventually opened the door. The cold Shilo-in-November-wind was better than that smell! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/34 "2014-07-09T22:27:23Z")
Signals, huh? Go Jimmy. ---
**Author:** ![hyden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/35a633/32.png) [@hyden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyden)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/35 "2014-07-10T17:58:17Z")
I am not always flatulant at work, but when I am, I ensure its in the elevator right before I get off… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/36 "2014-07-10T18:12:10Z")
> [@hyden](#): > > I am not always flatulant at work, but when I am, I ensure its in the elevator right before I get off… Reminds me of an old joke with the punchline, “Damn, lady, smells like somebody’s been shitting Christmas trees.” ETA: see [http://www.evula.com/jokes/air\_freshener.html](http://www.evula.com/jokes/air_freshener.html) for a similar one… ---
**Author:** ![Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f6c823/32.png) [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absinthe_Anecdote)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/37 "2014-07-10T18:18:14Z")
> [@hyden](#): > > I am not always flatulant at work, but when I am, I ensure its in the elevator right before I get off… That Creatine guy would often unleash his stench in elevators, I was always reluctant to get on an elevator with him. I got revenge on him by soaking a paper towel in the juice from a sardine can, and then hiding it in the modular furniture of his workstation. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/38 "2014-07-10T19:22:24Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > As a pregnant lady, I have decided to pretend that nobody notices. > > (Actually, I haven’t been farting much. Now burping… I mean, I make _amazing_ burps these days and there’s really nothing I can do about it. And I work in a very large quiet workroom. Sorry.) I had a guy in the cubicle next to me for years who was a non-stop burp machine. He’s in an office now so I don’t have to put up with it anymore. In hindsight I guess I should be glad it was just burping. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/39 "2014-07-10T20:21:17Z")
I am reliably informed that it is better to burp and taste it. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/40 "2014-07-10T20:31:16Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I am the flatulent office mate. “_I_ am the one who farts.” [/Walter White] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652.md?page=3)